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  1. #1
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    Default ENFJs and BFFs/Companions

    Do you always need a BFF/companion in your life? Not physically with you always, but in general, a presence in your life. I only know 2 in real life but I have observed this... it is very intense, and they both seem to just find new people when the old one becomes unavailable. I'm wondering if it's a coincidence or not.
    Your kisses, sweeter than honey. But guess what, so is my money.

  2. #2
    That's my name biotch! JoSunshine's Avatar
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    I do always have very close friends, but it's not a revolving door. I consider myself more of a "forever friend". I've been friends with my ESFJ BFF since I was a teenager (17 years), my two other close friends (ENTJ, ISTP) for 7 years and I consider my sister (ESFJ) to be one of my best friends for the past 10 years or so.

    That being said there have been a number of people who I have been friends with for a few months or years here and there, but ended the friendships when they became more detrimental than productive.
    "Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. " - Dr. Seuss
    I can't spell...get over it

    Slightly ENFJ, totally JoSunshine
    Extroverted (E) 52.5%........Introverted (I) 47.5%
    Intuitive (N) 65.63%..........Sensing (S) 34.38%
    Feeling (F) 55.56%............Thinking (T) 44.44%
    Judging (J) 51.43%............Perceiving (P) 48.57%

  3. #3
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    I'm an INFP and I got two people I've known for the longest time. Since I was six, and
    since I was 13. The rest is just, there, in case I need a party to go to >.> which I don't.

  4. #4
    Junior Member Chill's Avatar
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    I'm probably derailing slightly, but how do you differentiate your BFFs from your SO?

  5. #5
    Lungs & Lips Locked Unkindloving's Avatar
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    I would say so.

    Personally, I don't tend to refer to anyone as a 'BFF' or a best friend. However, I do seek out close friendships that are much deeper than surface level. I need to be social to feel satiated, but it's useless for me to keep acquaintances.
    There is a certain "friend for life" undertone to my interactions, so I look for something that can live up to that mutually.

    With ENFJs, we're a lot of give. Usually, the people we give to are a lot of take. I wouldn't say we expect others to give to us, but it's what we hope for. It's not surprising for us to seek it out and cling to it. Very precious stuff there .
    Hang on traveling woman - Don't sacrifice your plan
    Cause it will come back to you - Before you lose it on the man


    .:: DWTWD ::.

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    2011 TypeC Exercise Challenge - My Weekly Goals: Cardio 4x. Yoga/Pilates 1x. Pushups 70.

    There is this thing keeping everyone's lungs and lips locked - It is called fear and it's seeing a great renaissance

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by Unkindloving View Post
    With ENFJs, we're a lot of give. Usually, the people we give to are a lot of take. I wouldn't say we expect others to give to us, but it's what we hope for. It's not surprising for us to seek it out and cling to it. Very precious stuff there .
    Can you elaborate what you mean by this? Do you feel like people are making demands on your emotions a lot and that it's rare when somebody just lets you 'be'?

    Quote Originally Posted by Chill View Post
    I'm probably derailing slightly, but how do you differentiate your BFFs from your SO?
    I'd say sexual interest/expression on the side of both parties... physical intimacy brings about a different quality of emotional/psychological intimacy too somehow.
    Your kisses, sweeter than honey. But guess what, so is my money.

  7. #7
    Lungs & Lips Locked Unkindloving's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by gromit View Post
    Can you elaborate what you mean by this? Do you feel like people are making demands on your emotions a lot and that it's rare when somebody just lets you 'be'?
    Basically, yes.
    It can be an emotionally exhausting one-way street a lot of the time. We'll expend our emotional energy to help others, but they will rarely expend their emotional energy in return.
    It can turn into a very self-sacrificing event, which is why we like consistent, deep friendships. Someone expending their energy back to us and being there when we need them is treasured. Also, somewhat hard to come by.
    It's also about respect. Respecting one's need to self-preserve is an amazing quality that a lot of people have missed the boat on.
    Hang on traveling woman - Don't sacrifice your plan
    Cause it will come back to you - Before you lose it on the man


    .:: DWTWD ::.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]


    2011 TypeC Exercise Challenge - My Weekly Goals: Cardio 4x. Yoga/Pilates 1x. Pushups 70.

    There is this thing keeping everyone's lungs and lips locked - It is called fear and it's seeing a great renaissance

  8. #8
    Senior Member Sparrow's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by gromit View Post
    Do you always need a BFF/companion in your life? Not physically with you always, but in general, a presence in your life. I only know 2 in real life but I have observed this... it is very intense, and they both seem to just find new people when the old one becomes unavailable. I'm wondering if it's a coincidence or not.

    I have a couple best friends, but they arent always around. There are times when we separate and do our own thing for a while, sometimes as long as 2 years. But we always remain best friends and hook back up later . Its not that easy to consider or find a new best friend/life long friend, so I definitely cherish the ones I have. I may be an ENFJ but Im okay to be alone sometimes, sometimes I prefer it .
    Fe | Ni | Se | Ti ... 3w4 ... Lawful Neutral ... Johari -Nohari

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by Unkindloving View Post
    Basically, yes.
    It can be an emotionally exhausting one-way street a lot of the time. We'll expend our emotional energy to help others, but they will rarely expend their emotional energy in return.
    It can turn into a very self-sacrificing event, which is why we like consistent, deep friendships. Someone expending their energy back to us and being there when we need them is treasured. Also, somewhat hard to come by.
    It's also about respect. Respecting one's need to self-preserve is an amazing quality that a lot of people have missed the boat on.
    Okay I think this makes sense to me, theoretically and in terms of my ENFJs. One more question, when you refer to self-preservation, are you referring to the ENFJ's need?

    Have you ever found your 'deep' friends becoming exhausted by your intensity?
    Your kisses, sweeter than honey. But guess what, so is my money.

  10. #10
    You're fired. Lol. Antimony's Avatar
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    I had an ENFJ BFF once...but the entire time I knew him he really liked me, and then he completely cut me out of his life once he got a girlfriend.
    Excuse me, but does this smell like chloroform to you?

    Always reserve the right to become smarter at a future point in time, for only a fool limits themselves to all they knew in the past. -Alex

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