This may be it as Southern Kross mentioned, the SO difference. Seymour, reading your post, I relate a lot to that. I think when I read 'general traits' about INFPs, I don't relate because it is not specific/detailed enough. And in comparison, it makes us sound less desirable/efficient in the social sense compared to INFJs and it pokes at my SO instinct variant. I have a desire to be motivating, slightly aggressive and good at social interaction.Originally Posted by SouthernKross
As an SO, I am a bit of a mother hen. I get to know my group of friends extremely well and I am always looking out for them. I give them a lot of space to experience and learn on their own as that is what I do. I actually hate it when my Fe friends 'command' me to do something as if I don't know better. I am a huge believer in being autonomous and self-responsible and self-knowledgeable. I do see what you are saying now that I am thinking more about this. However, if one of my friends is doing something stupid, I will immediately try to help, even if it's not part of my strong values. Maybe it's just from experience and I foresee that it won't go well and she really does not need this.
When they don't listen, I can get a little nasty, roll my eyes, be snarky about it for a little bit. But compared to my Fe friends, I am more accommodating and sensitive to their emotions unless I have a strong opinion. Then I can be mean/bordering on nasty when I have had enough. Then I get the surprised 'why are you so mean!' Well, I gave you all warnings way before more than once.
So, yes, I agree about this advice giving difference. I just don't like the one-liner descriptions as it is vague and it allowed me too much room to imagine what you meant by it. Hahaha. That's what happened; ignore me. I hate it when INFPs are described as timid, wishy washy, ineffective, vague ...
I think the detachment while interacting with people as the difference between NFP and NFJ is very true. Even when I give off a warm/sweet aura, I am slightly detached. I am sort of observing others as if from the other end of a glass wall, not a thick one but there is this separation. Whatever they say, if it's not interesting for my 'data', I don't bring it to the other side of the glass. It is irrelevant to me, it may be true to them in some way, but it has absolutely nothing to me so I keep it in a different batch than from information and emotions that I 'absorb'. Whereas Fe is totally in the moment with that person, without that glass and not threatened by the closeness of all the information.
Because of my SO, I come across as very sweet, good and I get called Sweetie/Honey all the freaking time even by those who are under 10 years older. It is 50% sweet and 50% patronizing in my view. I do get snobby too. I smile and laugh a lot a lot.