[INFJ] INFJ-INFJ relationship

[Mr Snuggles]

Hey so I'll try to explain this as concisely as possible.

A friend I have recently told me that she is unsure as to if she should break up with her boyfriend and wanted to know how I felt about it because she likes me more. I told her that what I think doesn't matter and its entirely her decision based on how she feels about her boyfriend. I also reminded her that she told me she loved him and that he'd be very upset if she broke up with him.

Anyway she has now decided she's going to break up with him.

Basically, I'm like eurgh what do I do? Is it my fault? I've never told her specifically that I like her just hinted it but then I'm not really sure. I don't want to have the feeling of guilt about how upset her boyfriend (who is really nice guy) will be when she breaks up with him. Also I don't really know if I like her or not and certainly never imagined a beginning of any relationship with her to be as icky as this is.

It's all just horrible and I wish she'd never asked me what I thought about it in the first place.

P.S. to keep this a bit more relevant; I'm pretty sure her type is INFJ as well but she is bordering ENFP.

 

[Affably Evil]

P.S. to keep this a bit more relevant; I'm pretty sure her type is INFJ as well but she is bordering ENFP.

How do you figure? INFJ's function preferences are Ni Fe Ti Se, while ENFP is Ne Fi Te Si; that's not a slight difference, that's totally inside-out. I have a very hard time imagining someone utilizing all the preferences in such variant ways — just looking at the INFJ Common Issues thread shows a massive divide between Fi and Fe alone.

On the interpersonal topic, if I were in your position I'd definitely wait until she (and you) were both emotionally ready to start something fresh, not when it was all tangled up with everything going on between her and her boyfriend.

 

[mochajava]

On the interpersonal topic, if I were in your position I'd definitely wait until she (and you) were both emotionally ready to start something fresh, not when it was all tangled up with everything going on between her and her boyfriend.

I agree. Time and space help immensely with this... jumping between relationships without resolving things is very difficult for most people.