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  1. #1
    Senior Member Liesl's Avatar
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    Default The Importance of Feeling

    There are a lot of people out there that don't believe it's important to deal with their emotional states. I know I prioritize dealing with my emotions (not just because it's a statement of what I think is important, but also because it's necessary for my wellbeing) and want others to see that as an equally legitimate way of managing life. But I get belittled a lot for giving so much importance to my psychology, my identity, and my emotions. Have you NFs had similar experiences with this? And how do you deal with this?

  2. #2
    Glycerine
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    I think it may partly be because emotions can be draining and insanely painful to deal with. I know that is why I demonize my own emotions sometimes.

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    I can't deal with queasy-ness. I have to go to sleep.

  4. #4
    Senior Member Liesl's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pitseleh View Post
    I think it may partly be because emotions can be draining and insanely painful to deal with. I know that is why I demonize my own emotions sometimes.
    But do you ever get told that you think feeling is too important? Or that you place too much value on your emotions?

    I always feel really irritated with this argument because I want to tell people that "thinking" is really not that important.

    Do you get what I'm saying? It's like there's a bias against "feeling"...like it's not as valid a way of prioritizing things as "thinking."
    Quote Originally Posted by angell_m View Post
    I can't deal with queasy-ness. I have to go to sleep.
    Hmm, well, I don't like queasiness either. But I wasn't referring to feelings related to physical states.

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    THIS bitch stringstheory's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Liesl View Post
    But I get belittled a lot for giving so much importance to my psychology, my identity, and my emotions. Have you NFs had similar experiences with this? And how do you deal with this?
    I can't say i really have, no. i've never been belittled for it. If i were i would probably be inclined to :rolli: a little bit.

    i think some of the people I know might disagree if the topic happens to come up in conversation because they experience these things differently, but i can hold my own in terms of explaining my own priorities.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

    Introverted Feeling (46.7)
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    Introverted Thinking(26.5)
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  6. #6
    Glycerine
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    Quote Originally Posted by Liesl View Post
    But do you ever get told that you think feeling is too important? Or that you place too much value on your emotions?

    I always feel really irritated with this argument because I want to tell people that "thinking" is really not that important.

    Do you get what I'm saying? It's like there's a bias against "feeling"...like it's not as valid a way of prioritizing things as "thinking."
    Yes "Feeling" does seemed to be downplayed IRL, especially in academics and business.

    Where do you get the bias?

    Do you get the "bias" from this site? This site sometimes seems to have a strong bias against feelers but I prefer this site a lot more to Personality Cafe (even though it seems quite feeler because they seem pretty segregated over there and it always seems like there is too much "ENFJ", "ENFP", *insert any other type* mentality.

  7. #7
    Senior Member Liesl's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pitseleh View Post
    Yes "Feeling" does seemed to be downplayed IRL, especially in academics and business.

    Where do you get the bias?

    Do you get the "bias" from this site? This site sometimes seems to have a strong bias against feelers but I prefer this site a lot more to Personality Cafe (even though it seems quite feeler because they seem pretty segregated over there and it always seems like there is too much "ENFJ", "ENFP", *insert any other type* mentality.
    Hmmm, I haven't really thought about whether I get it on this site. Now that I think about it, I'd say so. But I notice it all the time in my daily life. It may because the settings that I'm typically in are so ST/NT dominated.

    I guess what bothers me is that I'm accommodating to 'thinking' types. I understand why they choose to do things differently and I don't criticize or object or belittle them for it. But with a few exceptions, I don't think I've ever gotten the same respect from a thinking type. And because of those exceptions, I know it's totally possible for them to accommodate my differences.

  8. #8
    Senior Member Liesl's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by stringstheory View Post
    I can't say i really have, no. i've never been belittled for it. If i were i would probably be inclined to :rolli: a little bit.

    i think some of the people I know might disagree if the topic happens to come up in conversation because they experience these things differently, but i can hold my own in terms of explaining my own priorities.
    I can too, but when people who have power or authority over you don't treat you with respect, what you say doesn't matter. It's only what they think that matters.

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    Senior Member Vamp's Avatar
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    Yep. I should have been doing that all along. Dealing with my real feelings. Now I don't even know that they are. I've been letting people tell me feelings are nonsense and believing it. Caused problems.
    George Bernard Shaw in cartoon form.

  10. #10
    Senior Member Liesl's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Vamp View Post
    Yep. I should have been doing that all along. Dealing with my real feelings. Now I don't even know that they are. I've been letting people tell me feelings are nonsense and believing it. Caused problems.
    This is exactly what I'm talking about. I get told to dissociate from feelings rather than deal with them. Whilst it may benefit an organization or another person for me to deny my feelings, I have found that this can only cause me harm.

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