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[MBTI General] The Importance of Feeling

Liesl

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True which is why I don't fit in anywhere. I wish I could avoid people like that, I'm tired of being constantly judged as a silly weakling because I can't, say, work a well paying job if I don't enjoy doing it. That's pretty much the bulk of what I was referring to. Everyone wants me to eat shit and like it and from my economical, social and whatever position that's the only choice I have so I'd better get used to it.
NO, DON'T GIVE IN.

I feel the same way. People compare others to the same ideal they aspire to. What they don't realize is that the ideal I aspire to is nothing like what aspire to. They have no idea what they're talking about. Maybe being a "silly little weakling" (according to their standards) is right. (It may not be for them, but maybe it is for you). There are some skills and characteristics that are better suited to society but that doesn't mean that they're BETTER because not everybody benefits from conforming to society or believes it's right thing to do.

Some people just can't think outside of the constraint of "this is the way things are done now" or "this is the way that makes the most sense to ME." Ignore them. :)

Sometimes options are limited but recognize that there's a difference between the way things ARE and the way things SHOULD be. We all reserve the right to do what is best for ourselves and to want what will make us happy and fulfilled. Try not to be influenced by others and to make whatever decisions you think are in your best interest. Hard, I know.
 

Liesl

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it's just a cultural bias...we currently live in a culture that is very work/money oriented - as if that is the entire meaning of life - where as in other cultures they put more emphasis on family, community, taking care of children and their elderly, or hey they just go home for naps in the middle of the day or take two hour lunch breaks so they actually enjoy their lives instead of working themselves to death

it's a very American mindset to just "keep going" in the name of getting things done or making more money or being a useful fucking tool for XYZ Corporation but I have a very strong sense of identity so I'm capable of fighting it

I also tend to have relationships with men who are feelers for this reason
I agree, marm. :)
 

Tiltyred

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True which is why I don't fit in anywhere. I wish I could avoid people like that, I'm tired of being constantly judged as a silly weakling because I can't, say, work a well paying job if I don't enjoy doing it. That's pretty much the bulk of what I was referring to. Everyone wants me to eat shit and like it and from my economical, social and whatever position that's the only choice I have so I'd better get used to it.

What do you do to support yourself, then?
 

Liesl

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I was thinking about what T and F really mean, what is this logic and what are feelings, and what is the importance of having both. Combining what I learned from MBTI and reading some literature on evolutionary psychology and biology I got the following model built up:

Thinking value system rigs one's brain to favor competition within one's species. It places more value on own self and less value in other individuals. Result is feelings of confidence, boosted self-value, awesomeness, but also perceiving other people have less value, deriving enjoyment from competition be it just sports and verbal sparring (arguments), up to making somebody else cry or even physical confrontation. T-value system also makes one be less interested in people and relationships in general. Not surprisingly most of male population tests as T-types. Some of the T-types however have easier access to feelings (all those whose feeling is their tertiary function).

Feeling value system rigs one's brain for cooperation within one's species. It places a lot of value on other people and less value one oneself. As a result feelers may lack confidence and experience feelings of low self worth, however they will have increased interest in other people and relationships in general, more acutely aware of worth of others, more sympathetic and desiring to seek win-win situations rather than win-lose competitive situations. Competition is distasteful to F-types. Most of women test as F-types as well as about 20% of men. F-types with tertiary T-function will find it easier to access T-type logic.

When decision stands to be made, our judgement function can reference either T or F value system. The two value systems, however, are inherently incompatible. When the feeling value system has been crossly violated, this sensation to us is known to us as guilt. When thinker value systems has been violated, this sensation is known to us as lack of respect, disdain. Not surprisingly it also plays into misunderstanding across genders. Unlike the N and S divide, or the I and E divide, this divide does actually correlate to gender and is responsible for the famous "men are from Mars, women are from Venus" saying.

What happens if you don't process your feelings is that you may either completely reject them and use pure T-type logic in relations to other people. This can harm your relationships as you will start acting selfish, callous, and cold towards other where other type of behavior would have made all the sense. And on the other extreme if you don't take time to process your emotions this may lead you to act in a way that others will simply take advantage of you. You will be cooperating where you should have been competing, so once again it can harm you.

So anybody gives you problems and belittles your emotions - give them this little lecture :p Emotions are in fact a very powerful tool that keeps the society together. If people went around not processing their emotions the world would be much more of a mess than it is now.
:) Thank you, sulfit! This is great, and I appreciate your perspective and extension on the topic.

Once a person has taken the "you're silly for putting so much stock in emotions" position with you, everything you say from that point on is categorized as more senseless emotional babble. ;)

All of what has been shared in this thread is exactly why I have such a flat affect and present an emotionless face. There's just no point in any of it. Most people hate emotions and most people hate intuitives. It's a lose/lose.
Yes, it's true. Many people who have this bias aren't going to be open to this information, particularly from "feelers" who they've already decided are "wrong" or "nonsensical." They don't want to hear it, they refuse to understand it, or they don't take it seriously. There are some exceptions, though, and I guess those are the people that I'm focused on.
 

Liesl

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This. What if this exact same tool, even though it was ineffective, still gets you the same results with the other person in which it was effective. That doesn't make sense because then it technically would have been effective. Nevermind, I killed the thought.
It happens. :)
 

mochajava

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it's just a cultural bias...we currently live in a culture that is very work/money oriented - as if that is the entire meaning of life - where as in other cultures they put more emphasis on family, community, taking care of children and their elderly, or hey they just go home for naps in the middle of the day or take two hour lunch breaks so they actually enjoy their lives instead of working themselves to death

it's a very American mindset to just "keep going" in the name of getting things done or making more money or being a useful fucking tool for XYZ Corporation but I have a very strong sense of identity so I'm capable of fighting it

I also tend to have relationships with men who are feelers for this reason

Well-said, MarmaladeSunrise! I think my "other" (that is, my non-American) culture that I also grew up in helped me to see how vital emotions and intuition are. It is a communal, not individualistic, culture that makes up my other half.
 

mochajava

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NO, DON'T GIVE IN.

I feel the same way. People compare others to the same ideal they aspire to. What they don't realize is that the ideal I aspire to is nothing like what aspire to. They have no idea what they're talking about. Maybe being a "silly little weakling" (according to their standards) is right. (It may not be for them, but maybe it is for you). There are some skills and characteristics that are better suited to society but that doesn't mean that they're BETTER because not everybody benefits from conforming to society or believes it's right thing to do.

Some people just can't think outside of the constraint of "this is the way things are done now" or "this is the way that makes the most sense to ME." Ignore them. :)

Sometimes options are limited but recognize that there's a difference between the way things ARE and the way things SHOULD be. We all reserve the right to do what is best for ourselves and to want what will make us happy and fulfilled. Try not to be influenced by others and to make whatever decisions you think are in your best interest. Hard, I know.

Thanks for this, Liesl!

And to the thinkers: I'm more technically effective (I spend all day looking at code) if I know what my emotions are up to :)
 

Vamp

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NO, DON'T GIVE IN.

I feel the same way. People compare others to the same ideal they aspire to. What they don't realize is that the ideal I aspire to is nothing like what aspire to. They have no idea what they're talking about. Maybe being a "silly little weakling" (according to their standards) is right. (It may not be for them, but maybe it is for you). There are some skills and characteristics that are better suited to society but that doesn't mean that they're BETTER because not everybody benefits from conforming to society or believes it's right thing to do.

Some people just can't think outside of the constraint of "this is the way things are done now" or "this is the way that makes the most sense to ME." Ignore them. :)

Sometimes options are limited but recognize that there's a difference between the way things ARE and the way things SHOULD be. We all reserve the right to do what is best for ourselves and to want what will make us happy and fulfilled. Try not to be influenced by others and to make whatever decisions you think are in your best interest. Hard, I know.

You're right but most of time, nothing in my life is my decision or even up for my consideration:

What do you do to support yourself, then?

Oh, I do it (where I'm from, $9.50/hour is well paying). I do the menial, lower jobs like being a cashier, standing 9 hours a day, being berated, told there's nothing better than part time and worked 39.5 hours. Which is why I have to get used to it, it can't be changed. Not until I finish college. Which I'm not too motivated about but that has to be done and can't be changed, either.

Right now I'm unemployed because apparently, being 22 instead of 17 and having some college (almost 2 straight years) as opposed to just getting out of HS or still being in is not wanted in this pressed job market. I would move into CSR and/or collecting but everyone around here wants experience. Also, my credit is tanked because of student loans and hospital bills. So no possibility for a passably good job.

So, how do I not "feel"?
 

copperfish17

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I'm not really all that concerned about what's "appropriate." And I decide for myself the extent to which I want to display my emotions. It's an individual choice. It goes back to what I was saying about personal wellbeing. You wouldn't want someone to force you to behave according to standards that weren't healthy for you, would you? It's just that different people have vastly different emotional needs and people often assume that other people approach the world with similar needs and wants for psychological health. False. What I need to do to live well and be happy could easily be vastly different from what you need to do.

Edit: And it seems your last sentence is an example of what I'm objecting to. Someone else thinking that they know what is best for another person! This whole thread is about how people have fundamentally different end goals. And fundamentally different needs. So you can never know what is "best" for another person. Or what makes the most sense. Or what the best methods for them are. Et cetera.

Indeed, Liesl. Now will you stop bothering us T's for being our cruel, emotionless, robotic selves?! :D

(Half in jest. Har.
...but I hope you see my point.)

I was thinking about what T and F really mean, what is this logic and what are feelings, and what is the importance of having both. Combining what I learned from MBTI and reading some literature on evolutionary psychology and biology I got the following model built up:

Thinking value system rigs one's brain to favor competition within one's species. It places more value on own self and less value in other individuals. Result is feelings of confidence, boosted self-value, awesomeness, but also perceiving other people have less value, deriving enjoyment from competition be it just sports and verbal sparring (arguments), up to making somebody else cry or even physical confrontation. T-value system also makes one be less interested in people and relationships in general. Not surprisingly most of male population tests as T-types. Some of the T-types however have easier access to feelings (all those whose feeling is their tertiary function).

:huh:

Feeling value system rigs one's brain for cooperation within one's species. It places a lot of value on other people and less value one oneself. As a result feelers may lack confidence and experience feelings of low self worth, however they will have increased interest in other people and relationships in general, more acutely aware of worth of others, more sympathetic and desiring to seek win-win situations rather than win-lose competitive situations. Competition is distasteful to F-types. Most of women test as F-types as well as about 20% of men. F-types with tertiary T-function will find it easier to access T-type logic.

When decision stands to be made, our judgement function can reference either T or F value system. The two value systems, however, are inherently incompatible. When the feeling value system has been crossly violated, this sensation to us is known to us as guilt. When thinker value systems has been violated, this sensation is known to us as lack of respect, disdain. Not surprisingly it also plays into misunderstanding across genders. Unlike the N and S divide, or the I and E divide, this divide does actually correlate to gender and is responsible for the famous "men are from Mars, women are from Venus" saying.

What happens if you don't process your feelings is that you may either completely reject them and use pure T-type logic in relations to other people. This can harm your relationships as you will start acting selfish, callous, and cold towards other where other type of behavior would have made all the sense. And on the other extreme if you don't take time to process your emotions this may lead you to act in a way that others will simply take advantage of you. You will be cooperating where you should have been competing, so once again it can harm you.

So anybody gives you problems and belittles your emotions - give them this little lecture :p Emotions are in fact a very powerful tool that keeps the society together. If people went around not processing their emotions the world would be much more of a mess than it is now.

Aw, I'm sure most T-type people don't "act selfish, callous, and cold towards other where other type of behavior would have made all the sense." At least not any of the mature ones.

Is that a bias against T-type logic I see here or am I just being silly? :shock:

Well, if it's not a bias, it is, at least, a less-than-solid understanding of T-type logic.

Once a person has taken the "you're silly for putting so much stock in emotions" position with you, everything you say from that point on is categorized as more senseless emotional babble. ;)

All of what has been shared in this thread is exactly why I have such a flat affect and present an emotionless face. There's just no point in any of it. Most people hate emotions and most people hate intuitives. It's a lose/lose.

True which is why I don't fit in anywhere. I wish I could avoid people like that, I'm tired of being constantly judged as a silly weakling because I can't, say, work a well paying job if I don't enjoy doing it. That's pretty much the bulk of what I was referring to. Everyone wants me to eat shit and like it and from my economical, social and whatever position that's the only choice I have so I'd better get used to it.

Hate to say this, but your mindset is what's bringing you down, methinks.

NO, DON'T GIVE IN.

I feel the same way. People compare others to the same ideal they aspire to. What they don't realize is that the ideal I aspire to is nothing like what aspire to. They have no idea what they're talking about. Maybe being a "silly little weakling" (according to their standards) is right. (It may not be for them, but maybe it is for you). There are some skills and characteristics that are better suited to society but that doesn't mean that they're BETTER because not everybody benefits from conforming to society or believes it's right thing to do.

Some people just can't think outside of the constraint of "this is the way things are done now" or "this is the way that makes the most sense to ME." Ignore them. :)

You demand that T's understand and respect the Feeling-stance...
...how much understanding and respect do you have for the Thinking-stance?

Sometimes options are limited but recognize that there's a difference between the way things ARE and the way things SHOULD be. We all reserve the right to do what is best for ourselves and to want what will make us happy and fulfilled. Try not to be influenced by others and to make whatever decisions you think are in your best interest. Hard, I know.

Why is it so hard for you F's to do this?
 
G

Glycerine

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Indeed, Liesl. Now will you stop bothering us T's for being our cruel, emotionless, robotic selves?! :D

You demand that T's understand and respect the Feeling-stance...
...how much understanding and respect do you have for the Thinking-stance?

Why is it so hard for you F's to do this?

Outside of this forum culture, I would say that many (or maybe even most) of the assumed T's I have known are pretty personable in their own ways... the ones that aren't are the ones that most people seem to hate (but they are completely oblivious to it and don't know why people dislike them).

I try to respect T's as long as they don't try to NITPICK everything I say (for their own ego trip).

For me, it's hard to make decisions in my best interest sometimes because I don't want to offend others. However, I am still very young so I don't always know how to handle those situations.
 

Coriolis

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Aw, I'm sure most T-type people don't "act selfish, callous, and cold towards other where other type of behavior would have made all the sense." At least not any of the mature ones.

Is that a bias against T-type logic I see here or am I just being silly? :shock:

Well, if it's not a bias, it is, at least, a less-than-solid understanding of T-type logic.
Well-put. It should be noted that selfish, callous, and cold are highly subjective characterizations, as are warm, sensitive, and giving. One person's warm and friendly is often my intrusive and cloying, just as my respectful and concise might be someone else's aloof and blunt. This is why I try to focus on what the person really did rather than how they caused me to feel.

A perspective that is more subjective and oriented toward others would seem to predispose one to the influence of others. I am not surprised that strong feeling types find resisting this difficult. I find it easy, but only because I try to remain detached and objective.
 

skylights

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Why is it so hard for you F's to do this?

because we have an exaggerated awareness of how our decisions will affect other people. if i go into medicine, like my dad, will my mom feel slighted? if i go into education, like my mom, will my dad feel bad? and so on, like that. i don't want to make a decision that has a good likelihood of hurting another person. and while i understand that regardless of the decision, it is going to impact some people negatively and some people positively, i still want to try to account for the feelings of those i care about the most in the process.

You demand that T's understand and respect the Feeling-stance...
...how much understanding and respect do you have for the Thinking-stance?

yeah. there needs to be respect and understanding on both sides. :yes:
 

Vamp

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Hate to say this, but your mindset is what's bringing you down, methinks.



Why is it so hard for you F's to do this?

Probably because we care about how other people feel.

As far as I can tell, the world puts the thinking stance far, far, far about the feeling stance. Especially in this part of the world, especially in a male dominate society. There's nothing but respect for thinkers. It's the feelers that get ridiculed by society and intentionally left out.

My mindset is my mindset because I'm surrounded by thinkers who do nothing but belittle me for having feelings, maybe if you felt you'd feel it too.

Of course there's a bias in this thread. This is the NF section and an NF venting thread. We feel persecuted. We're sharing out experiences. Are you really surprised it doesn't reflect warm fuzzy feelings on T's?

Edit: Okay, I read the "getting the feeling function wrong" thread and I realize I was quite harsh with this post but I am not going to remove it. Is it just me or do T's apply a lot of colloquialism to what "Feeling" means? That's what happened in this thread.
 
Last edited:

Coriolis

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because we have an exaggerated awareness of how our decisions will affect other people. if i go into medicine, like my dad, will my mom feel slighted? if i go into education, like my mom, will my dad feel bad? and so on, like that. i don't want to make a decision that has a good likelihood of hurting another person. and while i understand that regardless of the decision, it is going to impact some people negatively and some people positively, i still want to try to account for the feelings of those i care about the most in the process.
Would one of your parents really feel hurt if you followed more in the footsteps of the other? What about all the patients you won't heal if you go into education? Or the students you will not inspire if you go into medicine? Whichever choice you make, you will be turning away from those options, experiences, and potential loved ones on the road not taken. To me, the only solid basis for such a decision, the basis that will minimize regret, is the only aspect that is guaranteed to be involved whatever you do: namely, you.

As far as I can tell, the world puts the thinking stance far, far, far about the feeling stance. Especially in this part of the world, especially in a male dominate society. There's nothing but respect for thinkers. It's the feelers that get ridiculed by society and intentionally left out.

Of course there's a bias in this thread. This is the NF section and an NF venting thread. We feel persecuted. We're sharing out experiences. Are you really surprised it doesn't reflect warm fuzzy feelings on T's?

Edit: Okay, I read the "getting the feeling function wrong" thread and I realize I was quite harsh with this post but I am not going to remove it. Is it just me or do T's apply a lot of colloquialism to what "Feeling" means? That's what happened in this thread.
From a thinker's perspective, I see just the opposite. Thinking, logic, reasoning, study, scholarship are dismissed as too much work, and left for the nerds and eggheads. Popular culture promotes instant gratification, appearance over substance, emotional persuasion over logical convincing. Just look at advertising and political messages. They don't lay out facts and reasoning, they merely cheerlead for their product or candidate, often exploiting sex, fear, and social insecurities.

But don't worry, if I am at all representative of most T's, we are not put off by NF venting. We recognize it for what it is, and learn from it what we can. As for what "feeling" means, you are right that different people have different interpretations. From what I can tell, the MBTI usage focuses on values, while the more colloquial usage focuses on emotions. They may be related, but are not the same. I, for example, have a fairly strong sense of personal values, but am generally not an emotional person.
 

copperfish17

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Well-put. It should be noted that selfish, callous, and cold are highly subjective characterizations, as are warm, sensitive, and giving. One person's warm and friendly is often my intrusive and cloying, just as my respectful and concise might be someone else's aloof and blunt. This is why I try to focus on what the person really did rather than how they caused me to feel.

A perspective that is more subjective and oriented toward others would seem to predispose one to the influence of others. I am not surprised that strong feeling types find resisting this difficult. I find it easy, but only because I try to remain detached and objective.

This is a very good analysis. Thank you Coriolis!

Probably because we care about how other people feel.

So are you implying that T's don't care about how other people feel? :cheese:

As far as I can tell, the world puts the thinking stance far, far, far about the feeling stance. Especially in this part of the world, especially in a male dominate society. There's nothing but respect for thinkers. It's the feelers that get ridiculed by society and intentionally left out.

Well, I think you're over-victimizing yourself. Just what kind of terrible things have you been through that other people/feelers haven't been through? (Sure, the fact that others have been through the same pain may not relieve much of your own pain - still, that doesn't mean you should wallow in self-pity and distress forever. Unless you're a masochist, of course.)

I honestly don't think victim complex is a "traditional", healthy F-type trait. Believe me when I say it's possible to be strong without being a T.

My mindset is my mindset because I'm surrounded by thinkers who do nothing but belittle me for having feelings, maybe if you felt you'd feel it too.

Hey, I can tell you all about the times I was :cry: about silly things! :D

Of course there's a bias in this thread. This is the NF section and an NF venting thread. We feel persecuted. We're sharing out experiences. Are you really surprised it doesn't reflect warm fuzzy feelings on T's?

Nah, I'm not surprised at all.

(That wasn't an insult, just in case you couldn't tell.)

Would one of your parents really feel hurt if you followed more in the footsteps of the other? What about all the patients you won't heal if you go into education? Or the students you will not inspire if you go into medicine? Whichever choice you make, you will be turning away from those options, experiences, and potential loved ones on the road not taken. To me, the only solid basis for such a decision, the basis that will minimize regret, is the only aspect that is guaranteed to be involved whatever you do: namely, you.

From a thinker's perspective, I see just the opposite. Thinking, logic, reasoning, study, scholarship are dismissed as too much work, and left for the nerds and eggheads. Popular culture promotes instant gratification, appearance over substance, emotional persuasion over logical convincing. Just look at advertising and political messages. They don't lay out facts and reasoning, they merely cheerlead for their product or candidate, often exploiting sex, fear, and social insecurities.

But don't worry, if I am at all representative of most T's, we are not put off by NF venting. We recognize it for what it is, and learn from it what we can. As for what "feeling" means, you are right that different people have different interpretations. From what I can tell, the MBTI usage focuses on values, while the more colloquial usage focuses on emotions. They may be related, but are not the same. I, for example, have a fairly strong sense of personal values, but am generally not an emotional person.

Coriolis has a lot of good things to say. :wubbie:
 

Coriolis

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So are you implying that T's don't care about how other people feel? :cheese:
I think perhaps we don't. at least not nearly as much as F's. I know I often don't care about other's feelings, though I do care about what is leading them to feel that way. As with myself, I take interest in the feelings as indicators of something going on, and then track down that something, and focus on it.

Coriolis has a lot of good things to say. :wubbie:
:wubbie:??? No, no, nnnooooooooooo . . . this isn't happening . . .
 

Mondo

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I was looking at this thread again and I think this represents the flaws of Feeling types.
Most importantly, I think the OP is unrepresentative of a healthy Feeling type and most Feelers I know do not act like the OP probably does in public/private situations.
As someone has the right to express his or her feelings, another person has a right to tell that person to tone it down a little bit- that person has a right to offer advice.
I doubt the OP was in a situation where she was coerced into dissociating and or denying her feelings. People tell me to do stuff all the time, if I disagree with them... I'm strong enough just not to listen to their advice. I don't get angry or outraged about it. Here's an example. I'm a slob and my mom tells me to clean my room. I don't think my room is messy enough to justify taking the time out to clean it (and I have a tiny bedroom- so it wouldn't take that much time) but I don't think her advice is bad. I wouldn't go on a rant about how she doesn't understand me or my lifestyle because she wants me to clean my room.


I believe it's important to apply reason to everything a person does.
It solves a lot of problems, it also makes you more likable.
Looking at this from a Feeling-based argument, if a person chooses to follow his or her emotions on everything- that person is
a.) Bound to make countless avoidable mistakes
b.) Likely to hurt the feelings of others because the subject chose to follow her feelings without any reason except that she felt like it.

As a Thinker (and I imagine this is the goal of the whopping majority of people, including Feelers, even if this isn't the goal of the OP), I think it's idiotic to initiate or participate in unnecessary conflicts which will harm others. It wastes your own time, it wastes others' time and it gets people not liking you much.

Of course the term "unnecessary" is subjective and my point is practically moot because what one person considers a necessary conflict, another might consider completely unnecessary. That's why it's important to talk about issues and resolve them rationally and peacefully. Sometimes, feelings prevent people from doing this because the emotions say, "LASH OUT AT THE PERSON!! I AM AWESOME, THE OTHER PERSON SUCKS- I CAN'T THINK OF WHY.. BUT I JUST FEEL BAD LOL SO THAT JUSTIFIES ME TO BE A TOTAL JERK!!!"

As I previously wrote in this thread, it is important to dissociate from one's feelings but it isn't the same as denying one's feelings.. you can use all the subjective criteria you want to explain your decision but you better damn be able to explain why you chose that subjective criteria and try to figure out whether it's the right decision or not. There's more to life than yourself- you have to consider others too.
 

copperfish17

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Dec 13, 2009
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712
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
5w4
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
<Semi-rant ahead. Proceed with caution, o-feely ones. ;)>

Let me start by making it clear that my intention is not to offend. I am being 100% honest here as to what I think about the issue at hand in order to provide more perspective on the issue; of course, it is up to you as the reader to decide whether my post has value or not. Right… here goes.

TBH this thread mildly disturbs me for a number of reasons (no, it's not because I'm butthurt about the "mean" things that are being said about T's in this thread). Really, what can one say to feelers who feel discriminated against for being... well, feelers? This whole thread is moot to begin with.

Why? Cuz the world ain't changing, no matter how much online anti-Thinking venting passionate feelers do. The best advice I can think of giving those feelers is that: "If you can't change the world, change yourself." No, I'm not saying those feelers should learn how to act/think like a T-type; I'm saying that those feelers should learn how to be… less painfully aware of damages other people do unto them, for the lack of a better phrase. That is, in my opinion, pretty much the only way they can get out of the unhealthy, pessimistic outbursts they keep reliving.

I'm genuinely sorry, OP, that you're dealing with thinkers who don't understand "the importance of feeling." But just what are you trying to acheive in this thread (other than having your hurt feelings echoed and validated)? I believe the original purpose was to educate the thinkers here on TypoC on "the importance of feeling". But what will you truly gain from educating people on this thread who have nothing to do with your immediate life? I don’t see you looking into practical solutions to solve the problem at hand (unless you are really just looking for some empathy/emotional validation).

-

I’ll stop here for now, but I’ll come back and edit this post when I can think of something to add. Please do provide me with feedback.
 

Quay

Peaced
Joined
Feb 17, 2010
Messages
271
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
6w5
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
Why? Cuz the world ain't changing, no matter how much online anti-Thinking venting passionate feelers do. The best advice I can think of giving those feelers is that: "If you can't change the world, change yourself." No, I'm not saying those feelers should learn how to act/think like a T-type; I'm saying that those feelers should learn how to be… less painfully aware of damages other people do unto them, for the lack of a better phrase.

Pardon my grammar ahead of time..

I agree with you.

I do think F-types should develop this attitude, or work on developing it...especially to minimize hurt that they/we/whatever feel when it seems we are not being taken seriously. I grew up with an ESTJ dad and I spent most of my childhood and some of my adult life in deep dislike of him because it seemed he discounted my emotions and my thoughts because of how I allowed them come out when I was wound up.

One of the best things I've realized in life is that if I am happy with me, then others' perceptions/judgements of me really don't mean shit. And even at 32, I still haven't completely figured this out, and not completely happy with myself, but I'm aware I need to not let "those people" affect me.

It sucks...yes indeed.....and very much so, but time to validate my own feelings ..
 
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