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  1. #21
    にゃん runvardh's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Abstract Thinker View Post
    Wow, this took my breath away. Well said indeed. And I apologize in advance for what will surely be a long post...

    To the member who called us pansies: do not commit the common error of mistaking our kindness for weakness.

    Listen: I've had my share of physical altercations. I'm 11-1, and the one "loss" was my allowing the guy one punch because I knew I deserved it. I only allowed him one though, and he sensed that, and he wisely let it go.

    A few memorable ones:

    - My father visited me in college a few months after he had a minor heart attack. We got a bit drunk at my favorite local (my father less than me of course), and we hit it off with a group of guys who were friendly enough, but a bit rowdy. Fine. Upon leaving the pub though, the rowdiest of them pushed my dad playfully in the chest, but enough to make him falter. In a flash, that fellow was on the street beneath me, and he was about to die for all I cared. To say I "saw red" would be a massive understatement. Two of his mates could see what was coming, and they wisely grabbed his arms and literally dragged him down the street away from me. The fellow that was left of that group apologized while walking backward and said this of his friend: "He's one of the best college wrestlers I've ever known and I've never seen him go down so fast. Thanks for not hurting him." I would have killed him without remorse had he actually been a threat to my dad.

    - A few years ago at a club in a rural southern town, a drunk young fellow started harassing and dancing "too close" to a couple female friends of my ex-wife. He actually reached out to touch one of them. Big mistake. I couldn't hear a thing, but I could see what was happening. If that guy had not been faster of foot than I, he would have regretted ever waking up that day. He and his buds left the club right quick.

    - At a pool party a few years ago, another drunk fellow (this one much bigger and stronger than I), was playing like he was gonna throw a pregnant friend of mine in the pool. He actually picked her up, and she screamed. Game over. I pried his grip free and spun him around as quick as you please, and helped my friend back to her seat. He turned to face me, saw the look in my eyes, and rapidly backed off. Good move. I saw him sitting quietly later, obviously brooding and feeling foolish, and my impulse was to go shake his hand and tell him "no hard feelings, but stay away from my friends." My ex-wife said, "F**k him, he deserves to feel bad." She is most decidedly not an INFP. (Edit: my friend's non-INFP husband was right there, and he did nothing. He thanked me later when nobody else was around.)


    I could go on, about protecting my Cross Country coach in high school from a bunch of bikers, or taking on three bullies to protect three of my non-INFP male friends right after high school, but by now I've made my point, which is this:

    Hurt me? Fine. I can take it. But stay away from those that I love. I have a hero complex, and when protecting a loved one, I have absolutely no fear of harm, or even death. I'm pretty sure this is a common trait of the male INFP.

    Just some words to the wise, and to correct a common misconception about my "type." I'm as gentle as they come, and I would literally give any of you the shirt off my back, but tread carefully around my loved ones... there is a raging beast lurking just beneath my placid surface. As angel_m said above, it does scare me what I'm capable of.

    Okay, I'm calming down now. Just remembering those incidents made me shake with fury. Carry on good people.

    Abstract, out.

    ---

    Edit: I paused my DVR to write that post. (Been traveling for work and taking the day off.) Anyway, I'm in the middle of "Sense and Sensibility" and I'm loving every minute of it. I'm actually sitting here giggling and clapping at this "chick flick." Yeah, I'm sensitive, and I do have female traits, but again, the male INFP is somewhat of a paradox in that regard.

    I love chatting happily with women, but in a breath, I would draw my sword and gladly die to protect their honor.

    I was born two hundred years too late.
    It's always easier to be ready to put a man's nose into the back of his skull when INFP. Too many jackasses require pain to learn and some just need their stupidity "cured".
    Dreams are best served manifest and tangible.

    INFP, 6w7, IEI

    I accept no responsibility, what so ever, for the fact that I exist; I do, however, accept full responsibility for what I do while I exist.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  2. #22
    Senior Member Abstract Thinker's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by runvardh View Post
    It's always easier to be ready to put a man's nose into the back of his skull when INFP. Too many jackasses require pain to learn and some just need their stupidity "cured".
    Agreed, but the thing about me is, there's no middle ground when it comes to violence. Cross the line and the rage overwhelms me. That's why I relate so much to what angell_m said.

    Fortunately, it takes a lot to make me angry, the only exception being a threat to my loved ones.

    INFP or just me?

  3. #23
    meh Salomé's Avatar
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    Love: Often exceptionally intelligent, sensitive, creative and fun. Huge-hearted, warm and safe.
    Not Love: Sometimes too fragile, often distant/moody. Tend to be wallowers and difficult to motivate or draw out, especially for another introvert.
    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    Gosh, the world looks so small from up here on my high horse of menstruation.

  4. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by Morgan Le Fay View Post
    Love: Often exceptionally intelligent, sensitive, creative and fun. Huge-hearted, warm and safe.
    Not Love: Sometimes too fragile, often distant/moody. Tend to be wallowers and difficult to motivate or draw out, especially for another introvert.
    I like it how you used love/not love. Hehe. Spot on.

  5. #25
    Crazy Diamond Billy's Avatar
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    We're not all sissies who dont make moves.
    Ground control to Major Tom

  6. #26
    Reptilian Snuggletron's Avatar
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    just most of us^

    lol at this thread only having two other posters in it that aren't INFx males

  7. #27
    meh Salomé's Avatar
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    ^Also, they aren't very good at math.
    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    Gosh, the world looks so small from up here on my high horse of menstruation.

  8. #28
    にゃん runvardh's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Abstract Thinker View Post
    Agreed, but the thing about me is, there's no middle ground when it comes to violence. Cross the line and the rage overwhelms me. That's why I relate so much to what angell_m said.

    Fortunately, it takes a lot to make me angry, the only exception being a threat to my loved ones.

    INFP or just me?
    No, you're right, I just spent my childhood having to explode for anyone to finally listen that there was a problem. By high school I was well known enough for being an explosive psycho that people stopped showing up to fights they challenged me to. Too bad that didn't extend to my friends whom they'd only bother behind my back. I'm much better these days, but you never know when an emergency hits, like this one character at a job I worked whose favourite game was constantly be a verbal shit. I gave him a few warnings then gave him a shot to shut him up. Supervisor saw it a long with the rest of the crew, I didn't get into trouble so I guess they all figured he had it coming.
    Dreams are best served manifest and tangible.

    INFP, 6w7, IEI

    I accept no responsibility, what so ever, for the fact that I exist; I do, however, accept full responsibility for what I do while I exist.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  9. #29
    にゃん runvardh's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Morgan Le Fay View Post
    ^Also, they aren't very good at math.
    This tempts me to add something to my sig... LOL
    Dreams are best served manifest and tangible.

    INFP, 6w7, IEI

    I accept no responsibility, what so ever, for the fact that I exist; I do, however, accept full responsibility for what I do while I exist.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  10. #30
    Vaguely Precise Seymour's Avatar
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    I'm definitely not in the explosive anger camp. I very rarely get angry (as opposed to just momentarily irritated), but when it happens its a very cold, calculating anger that freaks out those that know me. I've never been one to get into fights, although I fought with my brothers a lot growing up.

    As far as the whole "pansy" thing... I don't take the societal gender expectations as gospel (of course, being gay, how could I?). Some of the rules (though not all) for "being a man" seem pointless and not worth following. There's a strength in knowing who you are and feeling the strength of your convictions. If your beliefs don't require you to smack others upside the head, that doesn't make you less of a man in my opinion.

    Anyway, while I never dated any INFP or INFJ men, my two best friends from college are a straight INFP (a more extreme INFP than I am) and a gay INFJ respectively. So:


    INFP Friend:

    Pros: Feel accepted and understood, feel like you listen deeply, feel like there is a lot going on there beneath the surface.

    Cons: Often impossible to get you to talk about what you are struggling with, sometimes you seem to "give up" on areas of your life, can be passive and fail to communicate your issues in relationships



    INFJ Friend:

    Pros: Infectious sharing of enthusiasms and media, initiation (and sometimes planning) of social events, the crazy-funhouse mirror similarities and difference of relating to an INFJ (as an INFP)

    Cons: Can be relentlessly nudgy and tend to give advice when I haven't asked for it, sometimes push for me to solve problems from the outside in (where as an INFP I tend to solve things from the inside out), can be hard to take your alternative belief system(s) seriously at times.



    Edit: But Morgan, counting is hard!

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