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  1. #1
    Senior Member mochajava's Avatar
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    Default Care and feeding of an INFJ

    All of the profile sites say that life is hard for the INFJ. Here's 404 Not Found
    Life is not necessarily easy for the INFJ, but they are capable of great depth of feeling and personal achievement.
    When you're withdrawing from extreme giving/social activity/exhaustion/burnout, what are you doing? What revives and replenishes you? How do you spend your time? :workout: or or ?

    I'm new to this forum (joined 7/28), but it's already helped me immensely.
    Last edited by mochajava; 08-01-2010 at 12:45 PM. Reason: added link

  2. #2
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    The small things help me the most when I feel like cocooning from the world. Music, sleep, books, movies, fresh air, exercise, the combo of all those. Things that get my creative juices flowing in a way that I can distract my mind so that I would have constructive thoughts that get things resolved.

    I'm the one who makes my life hard for myself the most. Personally, I think it's pointless to blame outside factors, I can't escape getting caught with my thoughts and I end up in a static loop.

  3. #3
    Senior Member mochajava's Avatar
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    Thanks, Sky is BLUE! How much withdrawn/me-time do you think serves you best? Do you do these things on a daily basis? My thoughts can make my life sad / difficult sometimes too... I think for me, I've only recently realized I have "INFJ-needs" and let myself withdraw when I need to. It's marvelous though. My "Ni" has come out and work with beautiful results. This forum, and people like you, are helping me with that ina big way so thank you!

    -writing
    -blogging
    -exercise, particularly something like boxing or weightlifting
    -novels
    -reading
    -novels. more novels. novels in bed. novels outdoors. novels at coffeeshops.
    -coffeeshops.
    -journaling
    -nature, hiking
    -cooking and listening to folk music
    -folk music
    -cuddling w/ my hubby

  4. #4
    Senior Member Tiltyred's Avatar
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    I was thinking about this today and wondering if it has to do with type. Speaking of folk music, I like to put on music that I like to sing to, and sing while doing hand sewing. Very simple sewing, just blanket stitch or blind stitch, nothing complicated. I spent about 12 hours doing that this weekend and it was really good for me. Ironing is good for that, too, but I like sewing best. What is that about?

    P.S. There's a movie called Seraphine about a French woman who was a maid/laundress and an artist. Here's the wiki about her:
    Séraphine Louis - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
    She was mentally ill, so that skews things, but during the scenes when she was painting, I felt right there with her. She painted and sang.

  5. #5
    Member Sailboat's Avatar
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    Write, listen to music, dream, paint, play piano, bake, organize, drive, watch movies, go out in nature.

    I like to sing while I do things, too
    Pick up your crazy heart and give it one more try.

  6. #6
    meinmeinmein! mmhmm's Avatar
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    i hang out with a male infj.

    when he's not being incredibly sugary sweet,
    he's hiking in the hills. has this wonderful
    child like innocence about him. loves to see
    loves to explore.

    when he recharges alone, and comes back to
    tell me about it, it's always such a joy to listen
    to his adventures.
    every normal man must be tempted, at times,
    to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag,
    and begin slitting throats.
    h.l. mencken

  7. #7
    Junior Member Horrible Aesthete's Avatar
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    Like others here, I write, watch films, commune with nature, and spend a ridiculous amount of time on the internet. More often than not, I accomplish absolutely nothing more profound than randomly searching out interesting videos on youtube, or posting little rants like this one. I feel that, for me at least, it is less about what I am doing, and more about the solitude. It is that simple, I need ample amounts of time to myself; just me and my thoughts. I need to be away from other humans, all other humans.

    I do enjoy writing as more than a distraction, however, and I need unconstrained time to myself to accomplish this. "Me time" does nothing for my internal well-being if it is constrained by an impending deadline. It is a fine line, the need for solitude, and the underlying need for companionship that inevitably crops up.

  8. #8
    Senior Member mochajava's Avatar
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    Tiltyred:
    I was thinking about this today and wondering if it has to do with type. Speaking of folk music, I like to put on music that I like to sing to, and sing while doing hand sewing. Very simple sewing, just blanket stitch or blind stitch, nothing complicated. I spent about 12 hours doing that this weekend and it was really good for me. Ironing is good for that, too, but I like sewing best. What is that about?
    I think the repetitive motion is calming and comforting. I like knitting scarves a lot. I used to do it all day, throughout classes and meetings when I was 17 or 18. Quirky, sure, but it calmed me and helped my concentration so much.

    Have you seen the movie Eat, Drink, Man, Woman? There is so much in this movie that's expressed through cooking - huge, beautiful, drawn out scenes of it. Not instructional like a cooking show. Sensual. I just find watching someone do something with intense focus (even someone shaving very carefully) to be really comforting and beautiful. This movie is a good example of that for me.

    It's good to hear of everyone's re-charging activities and that I'm simply not alone in not wanting to go out to noisy boisterous things often.

  9. #9
    Lay the coin on my tongue SilkRoad's Avatar
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    I read a lot...a lot. I have certain "comfort reading" books that might be particularly good if I need to recharge - often children's books that I've loved since I was 11 or so.

    If I go out to do something when I'm in that mental/emotional place where I need recharging, it might be to an art gallery or classical music concert or something.

    And, having dinner with a good friend or a few good friends can help a lot. But unfortunately, if I'm burned out because of a lot of emotional stress or whatever, I may mainly need to allow a lot of time to go by before I will really feel much better.
    Female
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    I DOORSLAMMING

  10. #10
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    I can actually tell when I'm feeling stressed or burnt out: I write more. That, and I become more quiet, withdraw physically or emotionally (if physical detachment is not allowed), only to come back energized.

    Time alone is usually spent reading, listening to good music (at least music I prefer).
    Yes, I take it with no cream and no sugar.

    And yes, some of us drink it bitter.

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