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  1. #41
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    the enfps i know care about how they look...myself included...not in a huge way but i don't like to wear ugly shit or anything and i'd rather people appreciate my personality than my appearance but i don't think it's unenfp like to care about how you look...at all.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  2. #42
    Professional Trickster Esoteric Wench's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Loliz View Post
    All the ISTP recommendations! Wow! I need to meet more of them
    ISTPs rock! I adore every one I know.

    Quote Originally Posted by Orobas View Post
    I tend to get kinda pissy if my ideas are not respected. I seek to have them affirmed. Kinda liked I have correlated being logical as an Fi value and I seek external feedback from others that my ideas really are logical. It's weird.
    This was very, very interesting to me. I've never heard it articulated like this before but I think I've done the same thing as you Orobas. Maybe that's why whenever I read your posts I say to myself, "Get out of my head Orobas." Seriously, the similarity in the way we think is pretty darn stunning... and seems to transcend normal ENFP commonalities. (Oh and I have spent a lot of time working in science / technical arenas, too.)

    Quote Originally Posted by Orobas View Post
    So maybe she has done something equally weird with her looks?...But I think the romance totally plays a hand in this particular interaction.
    I think there is a lot of variability in how ENFPs present themselves to the world... in part because they tailor their approach to the people around them. Maybe she's got a weird issue, but if she really is an ENFP, then she's definitely got to do some re-examining of her reasoning. But the romance thing... totally... I'm sure it's driving the agenda here. And, if she's really an ENFP, and if she's anything like me, she'll be charming and lively... except in the presence of her beloved. This is when I become a completely aloof and reserved person. So just because she doesn't show it, doesn't mean she's not completely and totally in love with you.
    ENFP with kick*ss Te | 7w8 so | ♀

  3. #43
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Esoteric Wench View Post
    ISTPs rock! I adore every one I know.



    This was very, very interesting to me. I've never heard it articulated like this before but I think I've done the same thing as you Orobas. Maybe that's why whenever I read your posts I say to myself, "Get out of my head Orobas." Seriously, the similarity in the way we think is pretty darn stunning... and seems to transcend normal ENFP commonalities. (Oh and I have spent a lot of time working in science / technical arenas, too.)



    I think there is a lot of variability in how ENFPs present themselves to the world... in part because they tailor their approach to the people around them. Maybe she's got a weird issue, but if she really is an ENFP, then she's definitely got to do some re-examining of her reasoning. But the romance thing... totally... I'm sure it's driving the agenda here. And, if she's really an ENFP, and if she's anything like me, she'll be charming and lively... except in the presence of her beloved. This is when I become a completely aloof and reserved person. So just because she doesn't show it, doesn't mean she's not completely and totally in love with you.
    oh shit...really? what is that? whhhy? i know what you mean...
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  4. #44
    Senior Member Chloe's Avatar
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    ah common, most women care about looks to some extent.

  5. #45
    Professional Trickster Esoteric Wench's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Esoteric Wench View Post
    If she's really an ENFP, and if she's anything like me, she'll be charming and lively... except in the presence of her beloved. This is when I become a completely aloof and reserved person. So just because she doesn't show it, doesn't mean she's not completely and totally in love with you.
    Quote Originally Posted by Lady X View Post
    oh shit...really? what is that? whhhy? i know what you mean...
    I don't know why I do this, but it drives me crazy about myself. Thank God I'm very, very, very picky about who I have crushes on so it hasn't come up very often. But when it does.... Oy vay...

    I think it's that when I'm in the presence of the object of my affections, I become overwhelmed by my Fi. It's like my Fi burns so strongly that it takes over my Ne. Fi has ineffable qualities... and I switch from being able to talk about anything with anybody to becoming almost speechless.

    Recent example: I literally stammered in front of a guy I felt knobby knocker in the knees for. Ugh! This is VERY uncharacteristic of me. And, I doubt this guy (intuitive though he is) even had the slightest clue that I was completely on fire on the inside while on the outside I was acting like a bumbling idiot.



    ---------------

    And, Chloe's right of course. I think it's safe to say that all women care about their looks to some extent. I know I do. But it's a VERY strong Fi value for me to not let my physical appearance activities trump things that are more important like integrity, intelligence, creativity.
    ENFP with kick*ss Te | 7w8 so | ♀

  6. #46
    Senior Member Chloe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Esoteric Wench View Post
    I don't know why I do this, but it drives me crazy about myself. Thank God I'm very, very, very picky about who I have crushes on so it hasn't come up very often. But when it does.... Oy vay...

    I think it's that when I'm in the presence of the object of my affections, I become overwhelmed by my Fi. It's like my Fi burns so strongly that it takes over my Ne. Fi has ineffable qualities... and I switch from being able to talk about anything with anybody to becoming almost speechless.

    Recent example: I literally stammered in front of a guy I felt knobby knocker in the knees for. Ugh! This is VERY uncharacteristic of me. And, I doubt this guy (intuitive though he is) even had the slightest clue that I was completely on fire on the inside while on the outside I was acting like a bumbling idiot.

    this makes me very curious how do other ENFPs act when they really like someone. I think i will write about this in enfp issues thread.
    ---------------

    And, Chloe's right of course. I think it's safe to say that all women care about their looks to some extent. I know I do. But it's a VERY strong Fi value for me to not let my physical appearance activities trump things that are more important like integrity, intelligence, creativity.
    of course. Ex. ESFP and ENFP woman, ESFP will be able to have high self esteem only if she's admired for her looks, at least it will bring greater satisfaction than to ENFP. I've seen this millions of times, ES women really get more "food" from being beautiful..
    to me, it's important, but alone totally not enough, by far.

  7. #47
    Rainy Day Woman MDP2525's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SillySapienne View Post
    Orobas, I don't care if you are a drop dead gorgeous ENFP, we don't care about looks, we care about ideas, intellect, integrity.

    An ENFP who is obsessed with her looks is kinda an impossibility.

    amiwrong?

    :confused:
    She's not obsessed with her looks. She's not shallow at all.

    Quote Originally Posted by mmhmm View Post
    when people make other people feel bad...
    it's because they usually feel bad about
    themselves.
    She doesn't make me feel bad at all. It's more irksome than anything else. The time I've known her it has surfaced enough times that I have a curiosity about her behavior. Which is why I did this thread.

    skylights post was really great. I got a lot of information out of that. Thank you.

    I think there is a lot of variability in how ENFPs present themselves to the world... in part because they tailor their approach to the people around them.
    Agreed. She's mentioned that with all the people she knows she only really considers three or four of them her tried and true friends.

    But the romance thing... totally... I'm sure it's driving the agenda here. And, if she's really an ENFP, and if she's anything like me, she'll be charming and lively... except in the presence of her beloved. This is when I become a completely aloof and reserved person. So just because she doesn't show it, doesn't mean she's not completely and totally in love with you.
    I could just be oblivious but I don't see the love thing. I mean. She's one of my best friends. The romantic stuff ended two years ago. When I'm 70 I'm going to know where she lives and what she's doing. You know? I told her that. That she was that type of friend to me.

    My ENTJ friend described me and ENFP's friendship and I have to share it because I really think it's an awesome description. She said that you wouldn't be able to tell that we had such a strong bond but when it flexes in front of you and shows itself it can be surprising to anyone in the vicinity.

    Maybe my protectiveness is kicking in but I don't want people on this thread to think she's a bad person. She's not. Okay. That's all.
    ~luck favors the ready~


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  8. #48
    Professional Trickster Esoteric Wench's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chloé View Post
    this makes me very curious how do other ENFPs act when they really like someone. I think i will write about this in enfp issues thread.
    I think this is an excellent topic for the ENFP Common Issues thread. I've been away for only one week and the thread has increased in size by over 100 posts. Egad. I've gotta get caught up.
    ENFP with kick*ss Te | 7w8 so | ♀

  9. #49
    Professional Trickster Esoteric Wench's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MDP2525 View Post
    My ENTJ friend described me and ENFP's friendship and I have to share it because I really think it's an awesome description. She said that you wouldn't be able to tell that we had such a strong bond but when it flexes in front of you and shows itself it can be surprising to anyone in the vicinity.
    That is a really great description. +1

    Quote Originally Posted by MDP2525 View Post
    Maybe my protectiveness is kicking in but I don't want people on this thread to think she's a bad person. She's not. Okay. That's all.
    I hear you. I'm sure if you're friends with her, she's a great gal.

    But obviously this thing that she does (whatever the reason) has bothered you enough to create a thread about it on this forum. In a way, it doesn't matter why she does it or what personality type she is. I would gently encourage you to set good boundaries for yourself and be honest and straightforward with her that you observe A, B, and C behavior and it makes you feel A, B, and C. And, you would appreciate if she became aware that she was doing this and to refrain from it in the future.
    ENFP with kick*ss Te | 7w8 so | ♀

  10. #50
    Rainy Day Woman MDP2525's Avatar
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    When the right moment presents itself I'll say something.
    ~luck favors the ready~


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