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  1. #21
    Rainy Day Woman MDP2525's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SillySapienne View Post
    Oh fuck, am I an idiot.

    You and she are lesbians, and this is a romantic thing.

    Oh, sorry, I got confuzid, we can be romantically jealous, as I stated before.


    She is the only woman I've been with. I prefer men.

    It was an experience that felt natural so I went with it but I quickly cut it off when she crossed a known boundary of mine.

    That was a long time ago though.

    So once a lover of an ENFP always a lover to an ENFP?
    ~luck favors the ready~


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  2. #22
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    You will always hold a special place in our hearts, yes

    And..it *can* be very hard knowing that we no longer hold that very special place in your heart..or at the very least have to share it
    ★ڿڰۣ✿ℒoѵℯ✿ڿڰۣ★





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  3. #23
    `~~Philosoflying~~` SillySapienne's Avatar
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    If she was in love with you, and is still in love with you, and has issues, then your OP makes perfect sense.

    This reminds me of how I acted when I was 18-20 with hahahhaa, an ISTP I was MADLY in love with.

    I was possessive of him, and I got jealous.
    `
    'Cause you can't handle me...

    "A lie is a lie even if everyone believes it. The truth is the truth even if nobody believes it." - David Stevens

    "That that is, is. That that is not, is not. Is that it? It is."

    Veritatem dies aperit

    Ride si sapis

    Intelligentle sparkles

  4. #24
    Rainy Day Woman MDP2525's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SillySapienne View Post
    If she was in love with you, and is still in love with you, and has issues, then your OP makes perfect sense.

    This reminds me of how I acted when I was 18-20 with hahahhaa, an ISTP I was MADLY in love with.

    I was possessive of him, and I got jealous.
    I don't think she was. We didn't know each other that well when we dated and she was dating someone else also at the time.

    She confuses me whenever she talks about when we dated. I ended it for very specific reasons which her actions caused. But then later she says it could have worked if I liked girls as much as guys.

    She recently told me she thinks I have the most sex appeal of anyone she knows. She doesn't know why she's so attracted to me but she feels a "pull" towards me.

    I take this stuff with a grain of salt. Her emotions seem to switch so often. I can never fully trust them. Sometimes I wonder if we live the same reality.

    Maybe Satine was right about the sharing part.

    OP does she only act this way with you, or does she do this with other friends as well?
    I wouldn't doubt she does this with others. Although, I haven't seen it. ENTJ friend says that she only does this with me.
    ~luck favors the ready~


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  5. #25
    `~~Philosoflying~~` SillySapienne's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by stringstheory View Post
    Well see this is where i feel like other factors are coming into play too...she's not just an ENFP, she's a model. I've seen this come through in people who are, for whatever reason, primarily judged upon her looks. What you say about ENFP caring less about looks than other factors particularly resonates with me, which is why i feel like the issue could be coming down to the question: do these people really like me for me? For my ideas and my 'true' identity? Or just because of how i look?

    i'm not sure i think it's a case about her being obsessed with her looks so much that it is being used to OTHER people being obsessed with her looks. looking at it from this perspective i can CERTAINLY see this eating at an ENFP who wants to be recognized for their ideas and integrity and causing her to act out. If my outside "identity" is primarily based on looks to many people, i know i would be crushed and would start seeking affirmation.

    Three friends and my roommate come into mind; my roommate is EXFJ, and the friends are 2 ENFP, and one is ENTJ. all are or have at some point been seriously bothered by this question either because of the nature of their profession or, in the case of my ENTJ friend, just for being so damn beautiful.

    OP does she only act this way with you, or does she do this with other friends as well?
    Gah, I could only briefly peruse your post, but you bring up some great points!

    I was born and raised in LA, and my sister amongst thousands of other girls/women here are aesthetically drop-dead gorgeous.

    And, I feel for them, to be put into a box, to simply be identified as a gorgeous shell, awful, awful, awful. :sad:

    I was a late bloomer regarding my looks, I became overtly, or more so, I dunno, physically attractive when I was 18, this was so weird for me, prior to that I was a tomboy, I didn't give a shit about my looks, I still don't though due to my heterosexuality, and the fact that I have a boyfriend, I maintain or attempt to maintain an acceptable appearance, (if single and left to my own devices I'd be one slovenly dressed, hairy monster, for sho ).

    Well, post 17, I've experienced people/men especially simply looking at me, (when I'm dressed up, or dressed casually), and treat me differently, and assume I'm some numskull, vacuous twit!!!



    At uni, I would have to prove myself as being intelligent, because profs would just assume I was some pretty face empty spaced kid, my favorite was when I finally gained my Evolution for bio majors prof's recognition, she was such a bitch to me, then I took her first test, (which consisted of short answers/ definitions and two essays) I aced that muthafucka and she treated me TOTALLY DIFFERENT, thereafter.

    I digress.

    But yeah, as an ENFP, we would be disgusted by someone who simply values us because of our physical appearance.

    We want to be valued for the things we pride ourselves in.

    Not for how we apply our lipstick or mascara.

    `
    'Cause you can't handle me...

    "A lie is a lie even if everyone believes it. The truth is the truth even if nobody believes it." - David Stevens

    "That that is, is. That that is not, is not. Is that it? It is."

    Veritatem dies aperit

    Ride si sapis

    Intelligentle sparkles

  6. #26
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MDP2525 View Post
    I don't think she was. We didn't know each other that well when we dated and she was dating someone else also at the time.

    She confuses me whenever she talks about when we dated. I ended it for very specific reasons which her actions caused. But then later she says it could have worked if I liked girls as much as guys.

    She recently told me she thinks I have the most sex appeal of anyone she knows. She doesn't know why she's so attracted to me but she feels a "pull" towards me.

    I take this stuff with a grain of salt. Her emotions seem to switch so often. Sometimes I wonder if we live the same reality.

    Maybe Satine was right about the sharing part.
    Lemme be the first to say that you boys and girls (ISTPS) are hard to ignore and hard to forget about

    There's few people that I experience as intense and freedom-loving, in a way that I enjoy myself, but ISTPs often do seem to fit that bill. It's addicitive to find someone who can make your emotions soar and who isn't afraid of your intensity as well as enjoy the fact that they can let loose as well.

    And therefore tempting to go back to the high they give you (in this case, the attraction/pull she was talking about, probably)

    This is purely my own experiences though, as I don't have enough info to analyse the situation properly in your case
    ★ڿڰۣ✿ℒoѵℯ✿ڿڰۣ★





    "Harm none, do as ye will”

  7. #27
    Senior Member sculpting's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MDP2525 View Post
    She confuses me whenever she talks about when we dated. I ended it for very specific reasons which her actions caused. But then later she says it could have worked if I liked girls as much as guys.

    She recently told me she thinks I have the most sex appeal of anyone she knows. She doesn't know why she's so attracted to me but she feels a "pull" towards me.

    I take this stuff with a grain of salt. Her emotions seem to switch so often. Sometimes I wonder if we live the same reality.

    I wouldn't doubt she does this with others. Although, I haven't seen it. ENTJ friend says that she only does this with me.
    I think she still really likes you. I would be exceptionally direct and let her know there is no potential future EVER. yeah, Fi emo can fluctuate all over the place from minute to minute-perhaps cmpare it to your Ti thoughts??? I dunno...

    The reality quote is amazingly insightful actually. Honestly you really dont live in the same reality...as bizarre as that sounds. We have Se in last place. So we often miss the things directly in front of us-because we look past them into our heads for new things on the horizon. I am dating an INTJ, and even his Se in forth place still makes him far, far more practical and reality based then me. Its funny as he doesnt look or act like my ex-an ISTP-but many things that bug him are exactly the same things.

    (Also a bunch of enfps here dated ISTPs when younger-you guys sorta look like young INTJs-maybe that is what she sees....)

  8. #28
    Junior Member Loliz's Avatar
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    So, I am not sure how to think about this now, exactly, depending on the feelings behind the situation. When I first read it, I was thinking she had low self-esteem, and now it seems she may have *special* feelings for you too?

    I guess either way it would be good if you all can talk. It doesn't feel good to have to be in the shadow or to feel like someone is being possessive or controlling. My ENFPs can deal with pretty open, honest, emotional conversations. I am intimidated bringing up things to my friend I was talking about earlier because she is prone to anger, but she is a good friend, too, and ultimately really wants our relationship to be good. If you are worried she will take it badly, just make sure you present it in a non-attacking way.

  9. #29
    Rainy Day Woman MDP2525's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Satine View Post
    Lemme be the first to say that you boys and girls (ISTPS) are hard to ignore and hard to forget about

    There's few people that I experience as intense and freedom-loving, in a way that I enjoy myself, but ISTPs often do seem to fit that bill. It's addicitive to find someone who can make your emotions soar and who isn't afraid of your intensity as well as enjoy the fact that they can let loose as well.

    And therefore tempting to go back to the high they give you (in this case, the attraction/pull she was talking about, probably)

    This is purely my own experiences though, as I don't have enough info to analyse the situation properly in your case
    Yeah. I really like how ENFP's can let you be you and they really are freedom-loving. Even though I feel we are vastly different we seem to have a common wavelength.
    ~luck favors the ready~


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  10. #30
    Junior Member Loliz's Avatar
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    All the ISTP recommendations! Wow! I need to meet more of them

    I usually end up around NP's, but I'll keep it in mind.

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