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  1. #11
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    Just joke about with her about it, and involve her in the flirting, it helps to reassure her that she's not going to be forgotten by you. Also, genuinly tell her, as you just did now that you do enjoy that bit of attention when you're prettied yourself up, as you're sure she can understand it's fun. Make sure you tell her you're sure she's bound to get her share of excitement as she looks hot, it's what she's aching for and can help reassure her

    If it's your intention to actually find someone to be happy with, tell her that too, and that you'd enjoy pursuing that, and hope she doesn't mind.

    Don't guilttrip her, just explain to her your own motivation and desires. Usually, an ENFP will not stand in the way of the happiness of someone they care about and will bend over backwards to contain their own insecurities, should they arise. But they have to be made aware of your desires and experiences first. We're no mindreaders, contrary to popular belief
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  2. #12
    Senior Member sculpting's Avatar
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    hmmmm, after reading loliz' "friend envy", you know, yeah I get that now and then...but I tend to quell it within a few seconds as I recognize I have no inherent right to the other person, and that my internal envy is due to seeking external affirmation that they are my friend. I guess I learned a long time ago to push a mental reset button.

    In any case be gentle, but direct. It may hurt her feelings, but let her know that she is your good friend but her ACTIONs bug you a bit.

  3. #13
    `~~Philosoflying~~` SillySapienne's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MDP2525 View Post
    Yes. I gave her the test.

    I know if I mentioned anything to her about it her feelings would be hurt and she wouldn't see that she does this. So maybe her motivation and what shows to others are different things.
    The above is highly uncharacteristic of ENFPs.

    I want some ENFPs to come up in this thread and back my ass up, oy vey.

    I'm sorry that your friend has major issues, but I'd be more obliged to help if you accepted the high probability that she is NOT an ENFP.



    Sorry, and notice that the other gals who are participating in the thread are not ENFPs, as your friend, I assure you is not, either.
    `
    'Cause you can't handle me...

    "A lie is a lie even if everyone believes it. The truth is the truth even if nobody believes it." - David Stevens

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  4. #14
    `~~Philosoflying~~` SillySapienne's Avatar
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    Oh fuck, am I an idiot.

    You and she are lesbians, and this is a romantic thing.

    Oh, sorry, I got confuzid, we can be romantically jealous, as I stated before.


    `
    'Cause you can't handle me...

    "A lie is a lie even if everyone believes it. The truth is the truth even if nobody believes it." - David Stevens

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  5. #15
    `~~Philosoflying~~` SillySapienne's Avatar
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    Obviously, she's not over you.

    And, she needs therapy, a lot of it.


    `
    'Cause you can't handle me...

    "A lie is a lie even if everyone believes it. The truth is the truth even if nobody believes it." - David Stevens

    "That that is, is. That that is not, is not. Is that it? It is."

    Veritatem dies aperit

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  6. #16
    `~~Philosoflying~~` SillySapienne's Avatar
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    Orobas, I don't care if you are a drop dead gorgeous ENFP, we don't care about looks, we care about ideas, intellect, integrity.

    An ENFP who is obsessed with her looks is kinda an impossibility.

    amiwrong?

    :confused:
    `
    'Cause you can't handle me...

    "A lie is a lie even if everyone believes it. The truth is the truth even if nobody believes it." - David Stevens

    "That that is, is. That that is not, is not. Is that it? It is."

    Veritatem dies aperit

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  7. #17
    Rainy Day Woman MDP2525's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SillySapienne View Post
    I just re-read your first post and it SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Doesn't resonate with me that I cannot believe that this chick is an ENFP, sorry, I can't.


    But, I've got a very strong Fi, and the woman you describe sounds nothing like an ENFP, nothing!!!!!....Why people, and women especially love me is due to the fact that I am NOT A HATER, I LOVE when my friends are happy, when they look beautiful, I don't know, this chick just doesn't seem like a real ENFP, to me.
    I'm pretty certain she is. In fact, your passionate response about this reminds me of her. She is very protective of her friends and is very encouraging, loyal and supportive. She wouldn't be one of my best friends if she wasn't.

    Keep in mind that I am relaying a problem with her and not accounting all her great qualities in this thread.
    ~luck favors the ready~


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  8. #18
    `~~Philosoflying~~` SillySapienne's Avatar
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    Mayhaps she be an ENFJ?

    An ENfp?

    An ESFP?

    I dunno....
    `
    'Cause you can't handle me...

    "A lie is a lie even if everyone believes it. The truth is the truth even if nobody believes it." - David Stevens

    "That that is, is. That that is not, is not. Is that it? It is."

    Veritatem dies aperit

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  9. #19
    Senior Member sculpting's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SillySapienne View Post
    Orobas, I don't care if you are a drop dead gorgeous ENFP, we don't care about looks, we care about ideas, intellect, integrity.

    An ENFP who is obsessed with her looks is kinda an impossibility.

    amiwrong?

    :confused:
    Hey my sweet,

    I dunno...I mean I am in science so I tend to get kinda pissy if my ideas are not respected. I seek to have them affirmed. Kinda liked I have coorelated being logical as an Fi value and I seek external feedback from others that my ideas really are logical. It's weird.

    So maybe she has done something equally weird with her looks? I dunno, I havent been around models at all, so I dont understand what she is exposed to normally. I wouldnt expect it to be EVERYTHING to her, but perhaps enough to maybe poke its head out now and then-like at the party where MDP dressed up.

    But I think the romance totally plays a hand in this particular interaction.

  10. #20
    THIS bitch stringstheory's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SillySapienne View Post
    Orobas, I don't care if you are a drop dead gorgeous ENFP, we don't care about looks, we care about ideas, intellect, integrity.

    An ENFP who is obsessed with her looks is kinda an impossibility.

    amiwrong?

    :confused:
    Well see this is where i feel like other factors are coming into play too...she's not just an ENFP, she's a model. I've seen this come through in people who are, for whatever reason, primarily judged upon her looks. What you say about ENFP caring less about looks than other factors particularly resonates with me, which is why i feel like the issue could be coming down to the question: do these people really like me for me? For my ideas and my 'true' identity? Or just because of how i look?

    i'm not sure i think it's a case about her being obsessed with her looks so much that it is being used to OTHER people being obsessed with her looks. looking at it from this perspective i can CERTAINLY see this eating at an ENFP who wants to be recognized for their ideas and integrity and causing her to act out. If my outside "identity" is primarily based on looks to many people, i know i would be crushed and would start seeking affirmation.

    Three friends and my roommate come into mind; my roommate is EXFJ, and the friends are 2 ENFP, and one is ENTJ. all are or have at some point been seriously bothered by this question either because of the nature of their profession or, in the case of my ENTJ friend, just for being so damn beautiful.

    OP does she only act this way with you, or does she do this with other friends as well?
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