Vicky Jo: I like very much what you wrote here. In fact, I love reading your thoughts on INFJ-ness. I’ve come to understand my ENFP-ness so much better by understanding my INFJ mirrors.
Back to your question about this phrase:
“introverted feeling also tends to ignore social limits regarding the communication of critical responses, to the point of appearing to depreciate others.”
Maybe I can shed some light on this as an ENFP who has Fi as her auxilliary function and Fe as a shadow function. For me, Fi is about what is Right (with a capital R). It transcends social norms. Let me repeat this because this is the heart of the matter. Fi for me is about finding the essence of Rightness. This is the primordial Right that social norms grew out of, but they are only a reflection of the principles that I seek to guide my behavior.
For example, about a year ago, an INFJ male in my acquaintance engaged in some behavior I found morally reprehensible. Fe, as I understand it, would have led me to respond in some manner in keeping with social norms. Perhaps I would have privately seethed but decided to not rock the boat by confronting him. But my Fi finds this a bit “little picture.” Afterall, my Fi is concerned with the underlying truths of those social norms. So in this respect, social norms are only a point of reference for me.
After much reflection, I decided that a bigger moral issue was at stake than not rocking the boat. This gave me the self-assuredness to point out his transgressions to him… social norms be damned.
I didn’t make this decision rashly. I knew there would be some serious social fallout from it. And, I knew that what I had to say would hurt and shock him. So how can I, who as an ENFP is so concerned with people liking me and making the people around me comfortable, do something that she knows is going to provoke antipathy and evoke much pain? I could do it because of my Fi. I tried to deliver my diatribe with as much kindness as possible, but I was very direct in pointing out his sins. I just HAD to do it because it was the Right thing to do.
To an outside observer, it might have appeared I was trying to hurt this person or that I had no filters. But nothing could be farther from the truth. I truly care about this person and weighed my decision very carefully. I tried to make the most moral choice possible. And I guess I felt like social norms were rather limiting considering the bigger principle at stake.