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  1. #51
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Domino View Post


    Ni drives us hard into the realm of detail. At least that's been my experience. Sometimes I get so saturated in detail that I need someone with Ne to drag me back out and help me regain a more global view. Otherwise I may spend eternity trying to move from one piece of minutiae to the next, building a web.
    So wait...the insight in the person through Ni provides the details you need to pick up on the polite and social thing to do? Coz that's what I fail at, or that's at least what drains me. To constantly be aware of *everyone's* needs and expectations.


    I should say that I become paranoid that I'm going to do or say something intrusive or completely off-base. I just assume that I'm wrong for some reason. *laugh*
    But the paranoia does not extend to 'wait, did I just forget to congratulate her on her birthday, should I have brought the hostess a gift, how will this look to other people? Coz I'll follow your paranoia and raise you mine on that


    If you aren't born into the body of Fe, it would be like being in hell. I already find it awful at times, like it's some huge cosmic joke on me. I'm glad I have the near equal strength of my Ni to bring the dragon to heel. When I find myself paying attention to other Fe primaries, or even the force of Fe tertiary users, I'm struck by the very nature of it, even cowed or a little alarmed by it.
    I have no idea how you survived that. I would have run away like a scared rabbit for the nearest forest.
    I see.. If I'm honest, the times that I was imprisonned by that state, especially for longer durations (and yes, it does feel like a prison to me, or rather...kinda like those bondage clothes they made women wear back in the day!), it was pure and utter hell. I imagine it's probably more pleasant and bearable if you're adept at it, and it comes to you naturally.

    But I also understand now what you mean with burning like fire...and it also starts to dawn on me what Protean means when she's offended by the mere suggestion that Fi-users would feel more intensily.

    When I was forced into that state it made me feel all the raw emotions of everyone around. And I couldn't escape. At all. Even worse were the expectations, needs and demands of everyone around. It consumed me. Made me lose myself. I can see why someone would wanna create order and maintain harmony in that kind of environment. Coz otherwise it just feels like drowning or worse even, like there's no air.

    I'll tell you how I survived: I learned not to take up space and isolate myself from them (which resulted in resentment and them lamenting 'me being weird and difficult' and in my being lonely and starving for intense connections). I literally felt like there wasn't room for me to breathe without offending others.

    How do you experience it? Tell me why you enjoy it if you do at all, and how?

    It also made me feel claustrophobic to process that many different kinds of emotions at the same time from a big group. I have no idea how you guys manage to keep that up for long amounts of time. I also now understand the need to harmonize them all into that 'blue light beam' that was used in a couple of threads to describe that one unified emotion you are looking for. It's the only way *not* to go mad. The chaos is deafening otherwise. I see the need for order and direction. I admire you for even attempting such a difficult task.


    Fe feels to me like being stuck in a crowded room with no way out, everyone yelling and being disgruntled and not even enough elbow space, let alone being able to move. In that way, it's f*cking intense, overwhelming and very much. It's also right in your face, which is where the intensity comes from. You guys are in the situation itself, at the core of it. At the heart.


    Fi has that same intensity when it's experiencing something, or someone. Preferably one on one. But it's a more pure emotion. It's one or several but all with the same energy signature. And it's more detached in its own. In that regard it's not as intense as Fe. It takes a step back to analyse and puzzle, instead of standing at the core and getting your hands dirty in order to create order in this mayham. It cocoons. It's just as intense in that it processes those emotions internally and man, that can be a frigging intense volcano. It feels like there's no more room inside of you...like you're a volcano with pressure building up. And when it errupts...nobody wants to be around you. But it's not suffocating. It's just seething. It doesn't encroach on your personal space. It just consumes your mind, body and soul completely. And the only way to really deal with it is...to surrender to it. And know that the fire won't kill you. It'll just make you aware that you're alive, by sheer extacy and pain. You can do the same while gently opening up someone elses volcano (no, no dirty minds!), allowing some of the pressure to escape, with the risk of them blowing up on you while you're close, but once again..it won't kill you if you stand closely to the blast, if you surrender to it and are prepared for it. It just hurts like hell.


    To me, it feels like this:

    Fe's a raging forest fire which the trees cannot escape. And you try and put out as many fires as you can, as otherwise it can spread to become even worse.

    Fi's a sleeping volcano in the middle of the ocean, ready to blow, while trying to allow for some holes through which the pressure can escape. Tossing water on the lava though...big mistake

    Both are painful, intense and dangerous in their own right. But also very rewarding if you pull it off


    Thank you so much, Domino. You've given me a lot to ponder on.

    If I may be so bold as to ask...since you have a twin who's a Fi-user...do you relate at all to what I've described on Fi, to what you may have read in the NFP common issues threads? Did you by any chance experience Fi yourself, and relate to the difference I've laid out here, and if not, how was it different for you?
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  2. #52
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    Quote Originally Posted by Domino View Post
    Can you kick him in the groin with the sandwich? *contemplates possible physics*
    But wouldn't that be a big fat mess or it might just give an exotic flavor to the sandwich. lol

  3. #53
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    Quote Originally Posted by Satine View Post
    So wait...the insight in the person through Ni provides the details you need to pick up on the polite and social thing to do? Coz that's what I fail at, or that's at least what drains me. To constantly be aware of *everyone's* needs and expectations.




    But the paranoia does not extend to 'wait, did I just forget to congratulate her on her birthday, should I have brought the hostess a gift, how will this look to other people? Coz I'll follow your paranoia and raise you mine on that




    I see.. If I'm honest, the times that I was imprisonned by that state, especially for longer durations (and yes, it does feel like a prison to me, or rather...kinda like those bondage clothes they made women wear back in the day!), it was pure and utter hell. I imagine it's probably more pleasant and bearable if you're adept at it, and it comes to you naturally.

    But I also understand now what you mean with burning like fire...and it also starts to dawn on me what Protean means when she's offended by the mere suggestion that Fi-users would feel more intensily.

    When I was forced into that state it made me feel all the raw emotions of everyone around. And I couldn't escape. At all. Even worse were the expectations, needs and demands of everyone around. It consumed me. Made me lose myself. I can see why someone would wanna create order and maintain harmony in that kind of environment. Coz otherwise it just feels like drowning or worse even, like there's no air.

    I'll tell you how I survived: I learned not to take up space and isolate myself from them (which resulted in resentment and them lamenting 'me being weird and difficult' and in my being lonely and starving for intense connections). I literally felt like there wasn't room for me to breathe without offending others.

    How do you experience it? Tell me why you enjoy it if you do at all, and how?

    It also made me feel claustrophobic to process that many different kinds of emotions at the same time from a big group. I have no idea how you guys manage to keep that up for long amounts of time. I also now understand the need to harmonize them all into that 'blue light beam' that was used in a couple of threads to describe that one unified emotion you are looking for. It's the only way *not* to go mad. The chaos is deafening otherwise. I see the need for order and direction. I admire you for even attempting such a difficult task.


    Fe feels to me like being stuck in a crowded room with no way out, everyone yelling and being disgruntled and not even enough elbow space, let alone being able to move. In that way, it's f*cking intense, overwhelming and very much. It's also right in your face, which is where the intensity comes from. You guys are in the situation itself, at the core of it. At the heart.


    Fi has that same intensity when it's experiencing something, or someone. Preferably one on one. But it's a more pure emotion. It's one or several but all with the same energy signature. And it's more detached in its own. In that regard it's not as intense as Fe. It takes a step back to analyse and puzzle, instead of standing at the core and getting your hands dirty in order to create order in this mayham. It cocoons. It's just as intense in that it processes those emotions internally and man, that can be a frigging intense volcano. It feels like there's no more room inside of you...like you're a volcano with pressure building up. And when it errupts...nobody wants to be around you. But it's not suffocating. It's just seething. It doesn't encroach on your personal space. It just consumes your mind, body and soul completely. And the only way to really deal with it is...to surrender to it. And know that the fire won't kill you. It'll just make you aware that you're alive, by sheer extacy and pain. You can do the same while gently opening up someone elses volcano (no, no dirty minds!), allowing some of the pressure to escape, with the risk of them blowing up on you while you're close, but once again..it won't kill you if you stand closely to the blast, if you surrender to it and are prepared for it. It just hurts like hell.


    To me, it feels like this:

    Fe's a raging forest fire which the trees cannot escape. And you try and put out as many fires as you can.
    Fi's a sleeping volcano in the middle of the ocean, ready to blow, while trying to allow for some holes through which the pressure can escape.

    Both are painful, intense and dangerous in their own right. But also very rewarding if you pull it off


    Thank you so much, Domino. You've given me a lot to ponder on.

    If I may be so bold as to ask...since you have a twin who's a Fi-user...do you relate at all to what I've described on Fi, to what you may have read in the NFP common issues threads? Did you by any chance experience Fi yourself, and relate to the difference I've laid out here, and if not, how was it different for you?
    I really like your assessment. I can feel your pain with having to live with so many Fe-users. I have an Fe dom dad and it gets EXHAUSTING with having a Fe-dom war of the worlds frequently. It's a constant battle of getting what you need vs. what you think others want/need. The constant paranoia of making sure that you didn't screw up others' people cues can have an adverse effect on Fe doms I think. Sometimes, when we have had enough, I think we can go insanely overboard with being egocentric and selfish.

    I know I am not domino but I have 3 NFPs in my immediate family. I agree with a lot of what you said about Fi and I REALLY don't think Fi is selfish for the most part. It depends more on what the individual's values are and whether or not they are in a stressed state. I think I have a decent use of Fi because I have been around it for so long.

  4. #54
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    Thanks for your kind reply, Pit
    I can imagine that living with a bunch of NFPs isn't easy either though *giggles*

    Tell me how you as a Fe-user experience your Fi? Do you find it resonating with what Fi-users describe? And what precise areas do you find yourself struggling with that you see Fi-users perhaps...deal more naturally with?
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  5. #55
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    Quote Originally Posted by Satine View Post
    Thanks for your kind reply, Pit
    I can imagine that living with a bunch of NFPs isn't easy either though *giggles*

    Tell me how you as a Fe-user experience your Fi? Do you find it resonating with what Fi-users describe? And what precise areas do you find yourself struggling with that you see Fi-users perhaps...deal more naturally with?
    For me, when I want to make a broad instant judgment on what someone should be doing, I try to think of them as an individual and let them do what they think is best. Also, when I see other Fe users do that to other people, I try to make them see it from the individual's point of view. It's like I try to use Fe for the major social boundaries and rules and use Fi to let people express their individuality within reason.

    I struggle with knowing what I really want, how I truly feel about something before something major comes to shove, accepting people that are in the extreme fringes of normal social behavior (like I just don't like the Duggars from 19 kids and counting). Maybe some Fi users are better at those things than I am.

  6. #56
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pitseleh View Post
    For me, when I want to make a broad instant judgment on what someone should be doing, I try to think of them as an individual and let them do what they think is best. Also, when I see other Fe users do that to other people, I try to make them see it from the individual's point of view. It's like I try to use Fe for the major social boundaries and rules and use Fi to let people express their individuality within reason.

    I struggle with knowing what I really want, how I truly feel about something before something major comes to shove, accepting people that are in the extreme fringes of normal social behavior (like I just don't like the Duggars from 19 kids and counting). Maybe some Fi users are better at those things than I am.
    Wow...that is sooo awesome

    And well, the thing you struggle with in Fi is also the hardest part for Fi-users, but imo, indeed well worth mastering.

    I find that I do the same as you but in the opposite direction. I'll use Fe to keep the group together and moving forwards when need be, but when not, let them be themselves and express themselves however they want

    I struggle most with keeping up with/anticipating social cues, being consistent and follow through on things. The emotions I can handle as well as the harmonizing process. The expectations....not so much as they guilttrip me all over the place, to then make me resentful. And it takes a lot out of me to disable that (messy clean-up)

    Got any tips?
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  7. #57
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Satine View Post
    So wait...the insight in the person through Ni provides the details you need to pick up on the polite and social thing to do? Coz that's what I fail at, or that's at least what drains me. To constantly be aware of *everyone's* needs and expectations.
    You know *laughs* I can either be the savviest socialite ever or the most oblivious person on the face of the planet. My sister has astonded me time and time again with her ability to know what's important to another person and to play off of it while I just sit there staring stupidly with social cues flying and pinging like bullets all around me. lol I have an example. My father is seeing a lovely woman who has a certain ethnicity in her background. Dad and I glossed it over for some reason. Jaye struck upon it as a matter of priority for this woman from very few cues, and proceeded to engage her on it. I felt really daft. I only seem to be good for warming people up or sniffing out liars. That makes me more dog than anything. haha!

    But yes, Ni does deal with human detail. I'll pick up on almost imperceptible behaviors that strike me as "wrong" (discordant with its source) or "right" (in sync with its source), something odd or noteworthy, like the way they hold their shoulders or hands. Explaining it is another matter entirely. It behooves me to build my own personal language for it all so that I don't spend the better part of an hour doing a frantic combination of babbling and gesturing while turning red with frustration. Trying to find the exact word I want to apply to one of those wispy ghosts I see sometimes drives me to invent a word, reappropriate one, or mash it into a phrase. Everything leads to E=MC2.

    I am aware of peoples' feelings overall, but not always the most practical way to help. I rely on my detail-gathering, but many times my Ni is really reticent to apply what it thinks is my own judgment or meaning to what I'm seeing/feeling and I can get lost that way. I rely on extra inputs from my sister's Ne to help me pare away what may be extraneous data.

    To me, Jaye's Ne is like a punch to the face while I'm death by 1000 cuts. Her anger once excited is like one giant extinction level event. Mine is a series of conflagrations followed by a final eruption.

    But the paranoia does not extend to 'wait, did I just forget to congratulate her on her birthday, should I have brought the hostess a gift, how will this look to other people? Coz I'll follow your paranoia and raise you mine on that
    hahaha! I'm terrible with dates. My friends forgive me for it.

    If I'm honest, the times that I was imprisonned by that state, especially for longer durations (and yes, it does feel like a prison to me, or rather...kinda like those bondage clothes they made women wear back in the day!), it was pure and utter hell. I imagine it's probably more pleasant and bearable if you're adept at it, and it comes to you naturally.
    Any sort of hostage situation is going to be awful (unless you're Sir Galahad in "Monty Python and the Holy Grail"). I've been held hostage by extremely malignant Fi and it took my breath away at how cold and passive-aggressive it was. I had no ability to counteract it. Any efforts to warm it, make it more compliant through charm or human appeal wrought nothing. I'm always in amazement at Fi users - I feel they have a special power within themselves that I don't.

    But I also understand now what you mean with burning like fire...and it also starts to dawn on me what Protean means when she's offended by the mere suggestion that Fi-users would feel more intensily.
    Yes, feelings are feelings. I've seen my sister get sick from the intensity of her feelings, so surely neither one is "more" or "less".

    When I was forced into that state it made me feel all the raw emotions of everyone around. And I couldn't escape. At all. Even worse were the expectations, needs and demands of everyone around. It consumed me. Made me lose myself. I can see why someone would wanna create order and maintain harmony in that kind of environment. Coz otherwise it just feels like drowning or worse even, like there's no air.
    I've heard my sis describe the rampant Fe of others in that manner - that she couldn't get away from it, like it filled the whole room.

    I'll tell you how I survived: I learned not to take up space and isolate myself from them (which resulted in resentment and them lamenting 'me being weird and difficult' and in my being lonely and starving for intense connections). I literally felt like there wasn't room for me to breathe without offending others.
    Bless your heart.

    How do you experience it? Tell me why you enjoy it if you do at all, and how?
    It would be difficult to describe Fe in the manner that I experience it. It's autonomic, like drawing breath. I can't control it, and I can't make it submarine even when I'm willing it to. (Sometimes I think that's what makes negative Fe take hostages - it can't go underground so it has to flip out and go 3D and intimidate in order to survive the outside world.)

    I like that people generally respond well to my Fe because I generally like people. I'm glad it makes them feel warm or at ease or personally energized. I've been able to draw a team together many times from scattered cats through the bonhomie nature of Fe. If I were a manipulative jerk, I could see the cult leader thing happening, but the narcissistic idea of controlling others makes me feel weird and unhappy.

    One thing that I believe may be "easier" about Fe over Fi is that even though I internalize almost EVERYTHING that happens to and around me, my feelings WILL come out. I can't gulp them for long. It would rather blow the side out of the volcano than be capped. I don't ingest the toxins for long, though I may still feel the bullets rattling around inside me for years afterward. When I see someone trying to upset my sister, I get really defensive of her because her feelings turn in on her and can make her sick. It's the nature of the beast. I try to show her how to express the feeling while she shows me through example of how to control myself or roll with the blow.

    It also made me feel claustrophobic to process that many different kinds of emotions at the same time from a big group. I have no idea how you guys manage to keep that up for long amounts of time. I also now understand the need to harmonize them all into that 'blue light beam' that was used in a couple of threads to describe that one unified emotion you are looking for. It's the only way *not* to go mad. The chaos is deafening otherwise. I see the need for order and direction. I admire you for even attempting such a difficult task.
    You know, I don't think I so much attempt as try to cope with it. Sometimes my head feels like a train station and like a train station, that noise and chaos MUST have order, any order at all, some method to the madness. My Ni naturally tolerates a great deal of hailing by outside stimuli and information, even when it seems random and disjointed. It likes to work puzzles. Better still, it likes things in bits and pieces, even if they never fit to anything properly, like a mosaic of shattered tiles.


    Fe feels to me like being stuck in a crowded room with no way out, everyone yelling and being disgruntled and not even enough elbow space, let alone being able to move. In that way, it's f*cking intense, overwhelming and very much. It's also right in your face, which is where the intensity comes from. You guys are in the situation itself, at the core of it. At the heart.
    I feel more and more sorry for you, gal. Like I need to build a little fort around you to stave off those nasty Fe trolls.

    Fi has that same intensity when it's experiencing something, or someone. Preferably one on one. But it's a more pure emotion. It's one or several but all with the same energy signature. And it's more detached in its own. In that regard it's not as intense as Fe. It takes a step back to analyse and puzzle, instead of standing at the core and getting your hands dirty in order to create order in this mayham. It cocoons. It's just as intense in that it processes those emotions internally and man, that can be a frigging intense volcano. It feels like there's no more room inside of you...like you're a volcano with pressure building up. And when it errupts...nobody wants to be around you. But it's not suffocating. It's just seething. It doesn't encroach on your personal space. It just consumes your mind, body and soul completely. And the only way to really deal with it is...to surrender to it. And know that the fire won't kill you. It'll just make you aware that you're alive, by sheer extacy and pain. You can do the same while gently opening up someone elses volcano (no, no dirty minds!), allowing some of the pressure to escape, with the risk of them blowing up on you while you're close, but once again..it won't kill you if you stand closely to the blast, if you surrender to it and are prepared for it. It just hurts like hell.
    The wonderous power of Fi. Well said.


    To me, it feels like this:

    Fe's a raging forest fire which the trees cannot escape. And you try and put out as many fires as you can, as otherwise it can spread to become even worse.

    Fi's a sleeping volcano in the middle of the ocean, ready to blow, while trying to allow for some holes through which the pressure can escape. Tossing water on the lava though...big mistake

    Both are painful, intense and dangerous in their own right. But also very rewarding if you pull it off
    Also very well said.


    Thank you so much, Domino. You've given me a lot to ponder on.
    You're welcome, sugar pie. I'm glad you got something useful from my blathering.

    If I may be so bold as to ask...since you have a twin who's a Fi-user...do you relate at all to what I've described on Fi, to what you may have read in the NFP common issues threads? Did you by any chance experience Fi yourself, and relate to the difference I've laid out here, and if not, how was it different for you?
    I'm very grateful to have been raised so closely to an Fi user. Everything that I know about it first hand is from Sis. I grew up surrounded by Fi users (except my INFJ dad and ISTP aunt). My mother, grandfathers, grandmothers, and uncles are/were all Fi users. I was a minority. I felt like I overreacted to everything compared to the others. Jaye seemed to take a lot more in stride and I was astonished by her on many counts on her ability to contemplate or process things without hurt feelings (or at least delaying the hurt until further consideration).

    Quote Originally Posted by Pitseleh View Post
    But wouldn't that be a big fat mess or it might just give an exotic flavor to the sandwich. lol
    Now that I think about it, what a ruin of a good sandwich.
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  8. #58
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    I really like your assessment. I can feel your pain with having to live with so many Fe-users. I have an Fe dom dad and it gets EXHAUSTING with having a Fe-dom war of the worlds frequently. It's a constant battle of getting what you need vs. what you think others want/need. The constant paranoia of making sure that you didn't screw up others' people cues can have an adverse effect on Fe doms I think. Sometimes, when we have had enough, I think we can go insanely overboard with being egocentric and selfish.
    Bingo.

    I know I am not domino but I have 3 NFPs in my immediate family. I agree with a lot of what you said about Fi and I REALLY don't think Fi is selfish for the most part. It depends more on what the individual's values are and whether or not they are in a stressed state. I think I have a decent use of Fi because I have been around it for so long.
    Fi is just greatly centralized. My ghost Fi functions rather well though I have little control over it.
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  9. #59
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    Quote Originally Posted by Satine View Post
    Wow...that is sooo awesome

    And well, the thing you struggle with in Fi is also the hardest part for Fi-users, but imo, indeed well worth mastering.

    I find that I do the same as you but in the opposite direction. I'll use Fe to keep the group together and moving forwards when need be, but when not, let them be themselves and express themselves however they want

    I struggle most with keeping up with/anticipating social cues, being consistent and follow through on things. The emotions I can handle as well as the harmonizing process. The expectations....not so much as they guilttrip me all over the place, to then make me resentful. And it takes a lot out of me to disable that (messy clean-up)

    Got any tips?
    Limit your time with them. I believe that good, healthy (above average) Fe users don't put you up to a lot of expectations.

    Don't promise or tell the Fe user you are going to do things UNLESS you are 100% sure. I have noticed that I completely expect people to do things if they suggest or state something. I know....it's annoying. In other words, if you aren't 100% sure, don't make it sound definite.

    Just think of the major social cues (what are the most important ones to a specific Fe user) and they will most likely let you slide more on the other ones. If not, they are just being high maintenance pooheads. This is somewhat analogous to when Fi users don't like their deeply held values to get stepped on.

  10. #60
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    Quote Originally Posted by Domino View Post



    Any sort of hostage situation is going to be awful (unless you're Sir Galahad in "Monty Python and the Holy Grail"). I've been held hostage by extremely malignant Fi and it took my breath away at how cold and passive-aggressive it was. I had no ability to counteract it. Any efforts to warm it, make it more compliant through charm or human appeal wrought nothing. I'm always in amazement at Fi users - I feel they have a special power within themselves that I don't.
    Not really..it's a matter of physics
    Any action will have a reaction as a consequence. Non-action however..takes the wind out of their sails
    At such force, there's no redirecting emotions...there's just weathering out the storm and not adding oil to the fire, realizing they need to rage for a while. If they don't rage, and are cold, I'll deliberately poke them to get them raging..At some point they run out of fuel

    And I know it hurts, incredibly so. It must've been horrendous to go through that and be completely helpless, having that growing fear and panic. Fi-users can go to the depths of the black abyss when they feel justified for whatever reason and emotionally rape people at that point. No wonder people stay their distance if they can.




    Bless your heart.
    You're too sweet



    It would be difficult to describe Fe in the manner that I experience it. It's autonomic, like drawing breath. I can't control it, and I can't make it submarine even when I'm willing it to. (Sometimes I think that's what makes negative Fe take hostages - it can't go underground so it has to flip out and go 3D and intimidate in order to survive the outside world.)

    I like that people generally respond well to my Fe because I generally like people. I'm glad it makes them feel warm or at ease or personally energized. I've been able to draw a team together many times from scattered cats through the bonhomie nature of Fe. If I were a manipulative jerk, I could see the cult leader thing happening, but the narcissistic idea of controlling others makes me feel weird and unhappy.

    One thing that I believe may be "easier" about Fe over Fi is that even though I internalize almost EVERYTHING that happens to and around me, my feelings WILL come out. I can't gulp them for long. It would rather blow the side out of the volcano than be capped. I don't ingest the toxins for long, though I may still feel the bullets rattling around inside me for years afterward. When I see someone trying to upset my sister, I get really defensive of her because her feelings turn in on her and can make her sick. It's the nature of the beast. I try to show her how to express the feeling while she shows me through example of how to control myself or roll with the blow.

    I admire how you can put your feelings on the backburner when it matters like that. It fucks me up. I learned how to process most of them in split seconds but the big ones still fuck me up completely. And yes..I need downtime and mulling-over time before I can express them and work through them. Costs wayyy too much time and headspace. I wish I could just view them in context, like Fe-users seem adept to do.

    And I can see how you wouldn't feel suffocated despite all the mayham going on...you seem to rise above it, getting an oversight of what needs directing where, taking away that feeling of constriction and helplessness, giving you a purpose and like a way of prioritizing what fire you will put out first. It would also take a keen eye, knowing what to anticipate where to keep things running smoothly, and an overview of the situation (to which I'm somehow always blind ). Very impressive.

    You know, I don't think I so much attempt as try to cope with it. Sometimes my head feels like a train station and like a train station, that noise and chaos MUST have order, any order at all, some method to the madness. My Ni naturally tolerates a great deal of hailing by outside stimuli and information, even when it seems random and disjointed. It likes to work puzzles. Better still, it likes things in bits and pieces, even if they never fit to anything properly, like a mosaic of shattered tiles.

    Ahhh...so your way of coping with it is to make it workable...not perfect. You see, what paralyzes me in those situations is fucking up. Not being perfect as it seems so evident to everyone else what needs to happen. But you actually see what works, even if it's not completely perfect and cut to the chase, to fix the situation, the grand design. I get stuck on the details and worry if I went about it the right way.
    I feel more and more sorry for you, gal. Like I need to build a little fort around you to stave off those nasty Fe trolls.
    *smiles* I've got a protective bubble these days, but tnx for the offer

    Oh and...if you ever need some down-time..there's room for two in that bubble


    I'm very grateful to have been raised so closely to an Fi user. Everything that I know about it first hand is from Sis. I grew up surrounded by Fi users (except my INFJ dad and ISTP aunt). My mother, grandfathers, grandmothers, and uncles are/were all Fi users. I was a minority. I felt like I overreacted to everything compared to the others. Jaye seemed to take a lot more in stride and I was astonished by her on many counts on her ability to contemplate or process things without hurt feelings (or at least delaying the hurt until further consideration).
    Boy, do I recognize the bolded. Did you ever feel lonely, misunderstood, and lacking of a cohesive band with people to fall back on, like a security blanket? Or did Jaye somehow provide that?

    I'm with you on the grateful-part. Despite my family being dysfunctional, I learned a lot from my ISFJ mom on Fe. And I am very happy about that. She was consistent, taught me what was important in life and what the basics of etiquette entail. My older brother was able to accomodate my Fi somewhat as he tests INXP. He was the person I went to when I was in tears. He often complained about that to my mom, I heard later on
    He was the one that played buffer between me and my other brother, where my mom buffered between me and my dad. They seemed to feel my need for personal space and freedom, despite not understanding it
    ★ڿڰۣ✿ℒoѵℯ✿ڿڰۣ★





    "Harm none, do as ye will”

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