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View Poll Results: My Fe burns like a white-hot volcano deep inside my...

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  • uvula

    6 8.70%
  • spleen

    5 7.25%
  • anterior vena cava

    16 23.19%
  • left pinky finger

    7 10.14%
  • no-no zone

    21 30.43%
  • bladder

    4 5.80%
  • your bladder

    4 5.80%
  • both your bladder and mine and it's probably your fault

    32 46.38%
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  1. #31
    Senior Member InTheFlesh's Avatar
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    Damn this thread...
    Right after it finally settled in my head that I was an INFJ I have to read this

    Now I'm right back internal arguments

  2. #32
    Glycerine
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    Quote Originally Posted by *poke* View Post
    Chill, this is me as well. Given the ENFJ warmth and "love for humanity", we are uber-conscientious about not hurting anyone's feelings, under any conditions, ever, no matter what, times infinity.
    I must be a mean ENFJ then... all the other ENFJs seem so much nicer than me. I let people have it if they deserve it. But all the more, I do try to avoid people's feelings.

  3. #33
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    Quote Originally Posted by ReflecttcelfeR View Post
    Hmmmm, I wonder about this one. That seems to go against the genuine feel that ENFJ's are said to have. Could you elaborate? You say it may be a personal issue though so you mean you specifically I suppose. Nevermind. However, if others can attest to this as well, then how do you cope with defending something you don't believe in?
    Short Answer: The End Justifies the Means.
    I have no prob defending something I don't believe in, unless it will hurt someone's.... self-esteem.
    How lame of me.
    Usually if I am defending something I don't believe in it's [only] to incriminate someone. Bc I suspect they hold such an opinion. What I hope follows: Admission----> Guilt. Everyone within earshot=witnesses
    Ethical? Prolly Not. But I don't care. It's who I am, and what I do. I think I should own up.
    I'd make a good Lawyer with all that practice.
    Then there's the Aftermath-worry about What will people think of me now that I voiced that opinion that I do not believe.
    ENFJs of the world, this kind of worrying is best remedied by ENTP friends who will reassure you that sort of thing matters not.


    Quote Originally Posted by La de Longe View Post
    I'd like to ask whether/how you guys cope with feeling like people don't really know the "real" you. I know an ENFJ who was in my close group of friends throughout most of college. As a casual friend he was the most charming, likable, seemingly empathetic and helpful person you could ever hope for, but usually whenever I tried to talk with him on a more personal level (like I tend to do with my good friends) he seemed to shut down. Other people experienced this with him too. I know all Fe-doms aren't like this, but do any of you relate?
    Yikes I don't cope with this well at all.
    Cuz I'd rather hide behind my superficial charms and be great temporarily than really get to know people on a *truly* intimate level.

    Quote Originally Posted by fidelia View Post
    I do know that while ENFJs are both genuine and personable, many people don't really get to know them. They will even steer conversation away from themselves. I'm guessing it has something to do with not being sure if 1) The other person is really that interested 2) They can handle their intensity 3) They are used to taking that role with other people so it feels unnatural or selfish to talk about their own problems 4) Only a very select core group of people know who they really are and it takes time to build up that kind of trust. Don't know though.
    Fidelia, I'd say all of the above. Also let's throw in the enfj authenticity/genuineness fears: I'm kinda insecure and don't want you to see inside me cuz I'm afraid there's not much substance...
    Not sure WHAT you'll see but my biggest fear is that you will see nothing
    other than a mere mirror reflection of the outer world/ my environment

  4. #34
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chill View Post
    Hi, I'm new.

    I've been wondering these past few days, with all due respect, are ENFJs prone to white lies if they think they may be hurting you? I've approached an ENFJ good friend about her tendency to change a particular topic and avoid giving the whole truth. Although she said she did not mean to and she knew I felt them out (the white lies), she still did it, is now still on the same page and I'm left dumbstruck.

    I thought by talking things through with her she would make an attempt to shed more light into that topic with me but I find myself back at square one.

    Now, I'm torn between putting up with those white lies (don't know how much longer I can be patient) pretending that I did not catch them, and calling her out on them for the second time, which seems like a dreadful thing for me to do. Granted, the first time was a difficult decision, but I'm grateful she responded well and even said toward the end, "I'm glad we talked".

    Any input would be much appreciated.
    She might not realize she's doing it. And she might appreciate you bringing it up yes even a second time- and if it were me, if you would be specific about what the white lie was... I would be better equipped but would most likely have a great desire to address the issue specifically then and there (so be prepared)

    I love dearly infps tactful ways of addressing the most important issues and avoiding unnecessary unpleasantries. That said, I also don't always have the patience for less direct forms of communication and do not always follow what you infps are gently alluding too...I miss that stuff. Especially with all the fascinating distractions going on in the world... Ooh look! pretty bird! (har har)

  5. #35
    Glycerine
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    Quote Originally Posted by Afkan View Post
    Short Answer: The End Justifies the Means.
    I have no prob defending something I don't believe in, unless it will hurt someone's.... self-esteem.
    How lame of me.
    Usually if I am defending something I don't believe in it's [only] to incriminate someone. Bc I suspect they hold such an opinion. What I hope follows: Admission----> Guilt. Everyone within earshot=witnesses
    Ethical? Prolly Not. But I don't care. It's who I am, and what I do. I think I should own up.
    I'd make a good Lawyer with all that practice.
    Then there's the Aftermath-worry about What will people think of me now that I voiced that opinion that I do not believe.
    ENFJs of the world, this kind of worrying is best remedied by ENTP friends who will reassure you that sort of thing matters not.
    Yay, I'm not a crooked person...we are on the same page. haha

  6. #36
    Senior Member Sparrow's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pitseleh View Post
    I must be a mean ENFJ then... all the other ENFJs seem so much nicer than me. I let people have it if they deserve it. But all the more, I do try to avoid people's feelings.
    I think we can all get pretty mean when a line is crossed! my man jokingly calls me scorpian woman hahaha!
    Fe | Ni | Se | Ti ... 3w4 ... Lawful Neutral ... Johari -Nohari

  7. #37
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sparrow View Post
    I think we can all get pretty mean when a line is crossed! my man jokingly calls me scorpian woman hahaha!
    ......mean may be quite the understatement. For me at least.

  8. #38
    Glycerine
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    hoorah, the poophead parade.

  9. #39
    Senior Member Sparrow's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Afkan View Post
    ......mean may be quite the understatement. For me at least.
    true that!
    Fe | Ni | Se | Ti ... 3w4 ... Lawful Neutral ... Johari -Nohari

  10. #40
    i love skylights's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pitseleh View Post
    hoorah, the poophead parade.
    i come in to peek at what the ENFJs are up to and this is what i find.

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