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View Poll Results: My Fe burns like a white-hot volcano deep inside my...

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  • uvula

    6 8.70%
  • spleen

    5 7.25%
  • anterior vena cava

    16 23.19%
  • left pinky finger

    7 10.14%
  • no-no zone

    21 30.43%
  • bladder

    4 5.80%
  • your bladder

    4 5.80%
  • both your bladder and mine and it's probably your fault

    32 46.38%
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  1. #11
    Senior Member Sparrow's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by paisley1 View Post
    Kinda difficult to know if the other person really cares over the internet, other than quoting your text, and responding to your Fe Ni. I'm backwards, I'm Ni Fe. Sorta the same thing, but I need alone time, and you need people time.
    I guess more so in person . Typology Central seems like a place where people actually give a damn, I likey.
    Fe | Ni | Se | Ti ... 3w4 ... Lawful Neutral ... Johari -Nohari

  2. #12
    i love skylights's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Domino View Post
    I feel weird explaining that just now because I know it's just going to reconfirm the negative stigmas people have about ENFJs being chameleons and body snatchers.

    I don't do this to my friends. My warmness to strangers isn't fake either. My warmth to the pawn shop guy wasn't fake - after a minute, I knew that he was a really nice person.
    aw, body snatchers. ENFPs get "chameleon" too.

    anyway, i just want to point out, that i find this ability brilliant. i'm close with two Fe doms - my mom being one of them - and they are amazing at this too, and i know that the warmth is genuine. tempered to fit the situation, sure, but genuine in origin nonetheless. i feel really lucky to have been able to learn some of this from mom, because i'm not very good at it naturally.

    not to like, worship or anything, i just want to point out my appreciation

    the irony, if anything, is that the only reason i really ever see the Fe doms i know use outright manipulation is for someone/a group important to them. Fi would do it too if it had better skillz

  3. #13
    ReflecTcelfeR
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pitseleh View Post
    Can play devil's advocate and staunchly argue a position we don't necessarily believe in and be idiosyncratic with our beliefs (maybe more of a personal issue)
    Hmmmm, I wonder about this one. That seems to go against the genuine feel that ENFJ's are said to have. Could you elaborate? You say it may be a personal issue though so you mean you specifically I suppose. Nevermind. However, if others can attest to this as well, then how do you cope with defending something you don't believe in?

  4. #14
    Junior Member La de Longe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by skylights View Post

    anyway, i just want to point out, that i find this ability brilliant. i'm close with two Fe doms - my mom being one of them - and they are amazing at this too, and i know that the warmth is genuine. tempered to fit the situation, sure, but genuine in origin nonetheless. i feel really lucky to have been able to learn some of this from mom, because i'm not very good at it naturally.
    Seriously. I only wish that I could be that engaging around strangers anyone, but I guess I see how an ENFJ might feel that that persona is insincere, because sometimes it does seem insincere. I don't have very many complaints about ENFJs, but oftentimes I am reluctant to warm-up to what appears to be over-enthusiasm, but I think "are you being that nice because you genuinely like me or are you just that way to everyone or do you want something from me." Or maybe I'm just paranoid.

    I'd like to ask whether/how you guys cope with feeling like people don't really know the "real" you. I know an ENFJ who was in my close group of friends throughout most of college. As a casual friend he was the most charming, likable, seemingly empathetic and helpful person you could ever hope for, but usually whenever I tried to talk with him on a more personal level (like I tend to do with my good friends) he seemed to shut down. Other people experienced this with him too. I know all Fe-doms aren't like this, but do any of you relate?

  5. #15
    Glycerine
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    Quote Originally Posted by ReflecttcelfeR View Post
    Hmmmm, I wonder about this one. That seems to go against the genuine feel that ENFJ's are said to have. Could you elaborate? You say it may be a personal issue though so you mean you specifically I suppose. Nevermind. However, if others can attest to this as well, then how do you cope with defending something you don't believe in?
    Not necessarily. It's more like the other person seems really one-sided on a topic so I prod them to see the other side(s). Also, I try to gauge where someone is on a particular topic. From all that babbling, I do it mostly to understand an opposing POV. There's also one repulsive possibility that I don't think I should vocalize. Sorry, if none of that makes any sense.

  6. #16
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    lol. nitpick - there's no anterior vena cava that i know of
    about time enfjs got a thread though =] haha

    personally i think sometimes i can justify whatever controversial actions i do by thinking that it is for the greater good... which isn't so good at times, especially if i actually have dodgy motives. i don't know, sometime's it's hard to say/tell

  7. #17
    ReflecTcelfeR
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pitseleh View Post
    Not necessarily. It's more like the other person seems really one-sided on a topic so I prod them to see the other side(s). Also, I try to gauge where someone is on a particular topic. From all that babbling, I do it mostly to understand an opposing POV. There's also one repulsive possibility that I don't think I should vocalize. Sorry, if none of that makes any sense.
    That makes sense.

  8. #18
    Junior Member Chill's Avatar
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    Hi, I'm new.

    I've been wondering these past few days, with all due respect, are ENFJs prone to white lies if they think they may be hurting you? I've approached an ENFJ good friend about her tendency to change a particular topic and avoid giving the whole truth. Although she said she did not mean to and she knew I felt them out (the white lies), she still did it, is now still on the same page and I'm left dumbstruck.

    I thought by talking things through with her she would make an attempt to shed more light into that topic with me but I find myself back at square one.

    Now, I'm torn between putting up with those white lies (don't know how much longer I can be patient) pretending that I did not catch them, and calling her out on them for the second time, which seems like a dreadful thing for me to do. Granted, the first time was a difficult decision, but I'm grateful she responded well and even said toward the end, "I'm glad we talked".

    Any input would be much appreciated.

  9. #19
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    I learned to just - BLAM! - say it as I got older and realized that neither the subject nor I would crumble by saying the hard things. Cushioning is okay. Diplomacy and tact are okay. But white-lying isn't a good road to go down because ultimately you both feel like you've done something weird. I adopted a "do you really want to know?" strategy and when I get verification, I just spill it.

    Just tell her to let if fly. "Don't worry about me! Just SAY it!" Does she correctly (or incorrectly) perceive you as brittle or emotionally unstable?

    However, if you're dying, I'm lying. I want death to take you unaware, unless you REALLY wanna know. Just sayin'. lol
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
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    Dramatic>Sensitive>Serious

  10. #20
    Starcrossed Seafarer Aquarelle's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sparrow View Post
    -Not knowing boundaries...being nice to everyone can be dangerous
    My ENFJ BFF has this problem majorly... she is constantly getting into predicaments because she gave someone the wrong idea by being too nice/friendly with them. When she tells me this kind of story, all I can do is shake my head....
    Masquerading as a normal person day after day is exhausting.

    My blog:
    TypeC: Adventures of an Introvert
    Wordpress: http://introvertadventures.wordpress.com/

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