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View Poll Results: My Fe burns like a white-hot volcano deep inside my...

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  • uvula

    6 8.70%
  • spleen

    5 7.25%
  • anterior vena cava

    16 23.19%
  • left pinky finger

    7 10.14%
  • no-no zone

    21 30.43%
  • bladder

    4 5.80%
  • your bladder

    4 5.80%
  • both your bladder and mine and it's probably your fault

    32 46.38%
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  1. #141
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MacGuffin View Post
    I'll be in my bunker.
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
    Neutral Good
    EII-Fi subtype, Ethical/Empath, Delta/Beta
    RLUEI, Choleric/Melancholic
    Inquistive/Limbic
    AIS Holland code
    Researcher: VDI-P
    Dramatic>Sensitive>Serious

  2. #142
    Senior Member TopherRed's Avatar
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    *wonders how Domino survived the apocalypse he caused*
    Love is the point.

  3. #143
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    It's okay. I was wearing my inflammable plastic pajamas.
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
    Neutral Good
    EII-Fi subtype, Ethical/Empath, Delta/Beta
    RLUEI, Choleric/Melancholic
    Inquistive/Limbic
    AIS Holland code
    Researcher: VDI-P
    Dramatic>Sensitive>Serious

  4. #144
    i love skylights's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Moiety View Post
    The day I can convince my ENFJ that I'm ever right is the day I die happy.
    geez i know.

    i guess the logic is that they wouldn't be in a relationship with you if you were wrong all the time, but it would seriously be nice to get a little affirmation once in a while. otherwise, especially if it's not a romantic relationship, it can come off feeling like they just like hanging out with you because they can lord over you and direct you around. which is scary and undermining, given initial ENFJ warmth. you secretly wonder what you've done wrong - or, worse, if they ever really liked you that much after all...

    (edit - not all ENFJs necessarily of course, i just relate to moiety's comment in regards to an ENFJ friend)

    Quote Originally Posted by Arclight View Post
    The more something is hyped.. the more I am likely to avoid it.
    i understand not wanting to be manipulated... that said... what does work if i'd like to get an ENFJ to reconsider something?

  5. #145
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    Quote Originally Posted by skylights View Post

    i understand not wanting to be manipulated... that said... what does work if i'd like to get an ENFJ to reconsider something?
    As I understand it, with most people I am very reasonable and open to new ideas. Some people aren't worth changing my mind over but they are always the exception.
    I have heard about some ENFJs being extremely stubborn people.

    In my case it's like this.. I am being stubborn over something I feel, then oddly enough you have to make your case to my intellect. I guess if I am being emotionally stubborn then they aren't listening, so you have to go over their head.
    Likewise if I am being stubborn over something I think.. Then you have to make an emotional plea. I am a sucker for sad eyes. Anger almost never works , but I don't like hurting people , so they key is to touch my soft side.

    It's less complicated than it sounds. It's just counter intuitive to most people.

  6. #146
    Senior Member Adasta's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Arclight View Post
    In my case it's like this.. I am being stubborn over something I feel, then oddly enough you have to make your case to my intellect. I guess if I am being emotionally stubborn then they aren't listening, so you have to go over their head.
    Likewise if I am being stubborn over something I think.. Then you have to make an emotional plea. I am a sucker for sad eyes. Anger almost never works , but I don't like hurting people , so they key is to touch my soft side.
    What is your response to a display of anger?

    My ENFJ does not seem to rank anger (in another) as being "legitimate". In fact, if I am ever angry, it appears to her that I am being completely irrational and unfair. This only serves to increase my anger, since the denial of any emotion's "right to exist" spins me into a fury.

    How would you advise us emotional types convey our anger? Anger is important, but it's difficult to deal with a stubborn ENFJ who is wrong but won't admit it AND who thinks someone else getting angry is a character flaw.
    That girls are raped, that two boys knife a third,
    Were axioms to him, who'd never heard
    Of any world where promises were kept,
    Or one could weep because another wept.

  7. #147
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    Quote Originally Posted by Adasta View Post
    What is your response to a display of anger?

    My ENFJ does not seem to rank anger (in another) as being "legitimate". In fact, if I am ever angry, it appears to her that I am being completely irrational and unfair. This only serves to increase my anger, since the denial of any emotion's "right to exist" spins me into a fury.

    How would you advise us emotional types convey our anger? Anger is important, but it's difficult to deal with a stubborn ENFJ who is wrong but won't admit it AND who thinks someone else getting angry is a character flaw.
    Anger when it comes to my partner is like this.. You have every right to feel angry. But in my world that is still no excuse to forget your manners. Would you yell at your boss? A stranger at the corner shop? This is what I mean by appealing to my intellect. Explain that you are angry and it's not difficult to deal and work something out, And I will even be empathetic and sympathetic. I will do whatever I can to respect you and stop whatever is upsetting you.. Express your anger though, and I will go on the back foot and probably just start yelling back.
    If you are persistent , I will get the claws out and then we will have problems.. because who wants to get into a battle of wills with the person they love?

  8. #148
    Senior Member Adasta's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Arclight View Post
    If you are persistent , I will get the claws out and then we will have problems.. because who wants to get into a battle of wills with the person they love?
    And there's the rub.

    I suppose the problem is that my getting angry is actually a display (if you will) of just how much I care. You see, I wouldn't actually get angry in front of another person in quite the same way as I would in front of my partner. The depth of the emotional bond means that the anger represents a physical manifestation of the intensity inherent in the relationship.

    For example, I wouldn't get angry with most people about most things. I'm more likely just to think they are stupid and then have nothing more to do with them. Actually getting angry (or "upset" as I usually call it, because it is almost never "anger" in the sense of rage with my partner, but more in the sense of "wounded") is akin to saying "I care enough about what you're saying to be emotionally affected by it".

    Do you think it would be more efficacious to say something like:

    I'm really angry because...x, y and z.
    That girls are raped, that two boys knife a third,
    Were axioms to him, who'd never heard
    Of any world where promises were kept,
    Or one could weep because another wept.

  9. #149
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    Stoicism at terrific odds with my powerful instincts.

    "She belonged to that feminine variety which the Romans call the woman of fire. Her eyes had the cold glitter of a caged tiger, knowing his impotence and being compelled to swallow his envy of destruction."
    I tell myself that I can cope with the bars, or that what I most want was never mine - just to calm myself. It was never mine and I was never going to have it and I can be consoled with one more denial that will never own me. What sort of coping mechanism is this. Innate? Taught? Even Seneca sent his wife from the room so that he wouldn't have to bear watching her bleed to death with him. Stoicism is a band-aid. Stoicism is resignation.

    But I don't have anything else that can cope with the seismic activity. If I don't deny or dismiss, I put holes in walls or myself.

    How do you face something that you cannot do without, but must?
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
    Neutral Good
    EII-Fi subtype, Ethical/Empath, Delta/Beta
    RLUEI, Choleric/Melancholic
    Inquistive/Limbic
    AIS Holland code
    Researcher: VDI-P
    Dramatic>Sensitive>Serious

  10. #150

    Default

    Common issue:

    They rock too hard.
    "The purpose of life is to be defeated by greater and greater things." - Rainer Maria Rilke

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