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View Poll Results: My Fe burns like a white-hot volcano deep inside my...

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  • uvula

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    21 30.43%
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  • your bladder

    4 5.80%
  • both your bladder and mine and it's probably your fault

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  1. #131
    Senior Member Adasta's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bronson View Post
    Nevertheless, it seems the INFP's find us a little over-bearing by the sound of it? Well, this may be the case from your perspective, however, compared to a whole host of other types we're extremely diplomatic and polite, well I am, and when 'maintaining a social situation' I would very rarely subject anyone to a 'good tongue lashing' (maybe), but would be far more discreet in turning conversation etc.
    You'd be hard pressed to appease an INFP at the best of times, so I wouldn't feel too downhearted about being "over-bearing". The truth is you're nowhere near the overbearing nature of the ST who's on his/her high horse!

    I think the main point is a conflict not of interests but of application. No doubt ENFJ endeavours are for the "good" (probably a result of the NFness) but the structured/unstructured dichotomy is problematic. Just because someone is not "anal-retentive", as you put it, it doesn't mean they are messing things up for the rest of you. Like I said, I love people planning the nitty gritty aspects of life for me: I don't enjoy it, so I'm glad there are those who do. The difficulty lies in bridging the chasm between the macrocosmic world of the INFP and the microcosmic world of the ENFJ.

    For you, flights of fantasy are reserved for moments where you can "indulge" in them and for the rest of the time you concentrate of practicalities and interacting with others. For me, it's the other way round. The majority of my day is taken up in constantly wondering about things, therefore pushing out time to consider useful/practical things. I think that, sometimes, my "inability" to compartmentalise in the same way as an ENFJ results in them branding me "difficult" or "moody". You may say to yourself that, because you can do both things, so should the INFP, so why can't he just get a grip and realise that following all these details is for the best!

    Also remember that INFPs are typically very perceptive. While you ENFJs are "spinning plates" and pleasing/appeasing several others, we usually "see through it" and begin to demand that you treat us differently because we've been so clever as to notice that being diplomatic to everyone is more important to you than pampering us! This is, of course, not allowed
    That girls are raped, that two boys knife a third,
    Were axioms to him, who'd never heard
    Of any world where promises were kept,
    Or one could weep because another wept.

  2. #132
    Plumage and Moult proteanmix's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Adasta View Post
    For you, flights of fantasy are reserved for moments where you can "indulge" in them and for the rest of the time you concentrate of practicalities and interacting with others. For me, it's the other way round. The majority of my day is taken up in constantly wondering about things, therefore pushing out time to consider useful/practical things. I think that, sometimes, my "inability" to compartmentalise in the same way as an ENFJ results in them branding me "difficult" or "moody". You may say to yourself that, because you can do both things, so should the INFP, so why can't he just get a grip and realise that following all these details is for the best!
    A few questions:
    • Define/describe what you consider a "flight of fancy."
    • Define/describe what you consider a "practicality."

    If you knew me IRL you'd know that I have this really big thing about The Apocalypse and I'm absolutely convinced that it will be biological in nature and that society and civilization will collaspe and that scares the beejesus out of me. Talk about a lonely planet. I really should be a survivalist. I'm not because all the survivalist groups I've looked into are white nationalists and separatists and live in compounds in West Virginia. They live out in the hinterlands and I'm much more interested in surviving in a urban environment or city--what if I can't get out before they blow the bridges and block the interstates? Unfortunately, they're not very mulit-culti or accepting of others. WTF?! I want to live too!

    Stay with me, this is connected (in my mind at least).

    I'm really attracted to ideas and movies that have dystopian futures. I'm not talking about Big Brother, technological oppression where every breath you take is being monitored. I'm talking about there's nobody out there to rely upon to help because people are dead, there are dead bodies everywhere, no electricity, no safe drinking water, roving bands of people that will kill you because there is no law and order, and the thin veneer of civilization has been ripped violently apart.

    But I also feel this strange anticipation for this event. It's not all Be Prepared, it's like wow I wonder if I'd survive (survive to what?), I wonder if I could be a conqueror. Or at least not regress to eating squirrels and possums. There's this undercurrent of anticipation, cuz shit's going to be interesting and I want to be there.

    A few friends of mine indulge me rather deeply in this topic, and all of them(!) have said they want to die in the first wave. And I'm like why...don't you want to see if you live and what this new society will look like? On top of that, I have this delusion of grandeur that I will rise to become a leader in this new society (I make no claims of benevolence) and I'm already trying to rebuild society (some small town probably) but this time, it's going to be different.

    OK, now here's the connection. While I think this is extreme, I don't at all believe improbable. But I realize it's a little crazy and that I could get really carried away with this. Right now, I have three boxes of medical supplies: saline, gauze, ABD pads, soft tape, splints, gloves, packages of sterilized tweezers and scissors, hospital quality bandages of varying absorbencies, a recipe for Dakin's solution to cleanse wounds. You know how some people have their trophy car and take it out for a spin on the weekends? I go and admire my little stockpile of medical supplies. I love those books that tell you what to do if you have to jump off a cliff or bridge into water (clench those butt checks). On my most recent bday, my friend got me a book on the many glorious uses of duct tape!

    And then I find myself thinking about guys in terms of does he look like he could gut a deer without vomiting on himself? Can he scale a wall? This is pretty bad, I really have persistent thoughts like this.

    This belief of mine tends to infiltrate my life. So for example, I'll be doing my budget and think "you know if you could save $500 a month you could probably buy a water purification system when the ELE happens." I get a little happy! Of course, I don't really do it...my money tends to go towards lavish dinners and alcohol. I tried though.

    I gave this little glimpse into my mind because you never know what's fueling and motivating someone to behave in certain ways. All you see is the outward behavior. On a more realistic scale, maybe someone you see "excessively" worried or preoccupied with some "banality" of life was in a traumatic or difficult situation that has caused them to be the way they are. And what is excessive in this situation? Maybe the person is no where near being obsessive or excessive? My sister is an ISTP and some of her most frequent exclamations are "Who cares" and "What difference does it make?" If someone's default and most basic sense of importance is higher or lower than yours in a certain area, of course they're going to look excessive or deficient.

    For me, having a sense of control and being able to walk freely in my sense of personal agency is of utmost importance. I work towards ends that increase my sense of control over my life. I'm sure these things look like worrying to people that have less of this need.

    For the other matter, I'm not into guiding what's going on between people and how they're interacting. People tend to themselves and I'm not babysitting anyone. I have a small friend group and when I'm with a large group of people I tend to splinter off into a smaller group and those people tend to be the ones that I feel can hold their own. I don't look for the most lonely looking person in the room and feel some primordial pull towards them. Well unless they look like they want to integrate and are receptive to my efforts but if not, stay in the corner trying to drink and text at the same time. I guess I'm not into this image of ENFJs being hand-wringing worry warts, because I tend to concentrate my energies more in solutions than sitting around a clucking.
    Relationships have normal ebbs and flows. They do not automatically get better and better when the participants learn more and more about each other. Instead, the participants have to work through the tensions of the relationship (the dialectic) while they learn and group themselves and a parties in a relationships. At times the relationships is very open and sharing. Other time, one or both parties to the relationship need their space, or have other concerns, and the relationship is less open. The theory posits that these cycles occur throughout the life of the relationship as the persons try to balance their needs for privacy and open relationship.
    Interpersonal Communication Theories and Concepts
    Social Penetration Theory 1
    Social Penetration Theory 2
    Social Penetration Theory 3

  3. #133
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    This is a woman with an action plan. I'm no survivalist, but my drive to survive is extremely strong.

    My sister frequently comments that if there's something placed in front of me that I don't know about or understand how it works, I dedicate myself to mastering it and bringing it under my dominion. She says that if I were presented with the space shuttle, I would be poking and prodding and pressing all the buttons saying "What does this do?" To me, everything is a potential. It can be used either for or against me, and knowledge brings it into MY domain rather than waiting for it to fall to others. There are obviously things beyond my scope, but for the greater majority of everyday situations and objects, I see clearly how being proficient enough to hold your own is important.

    Formative, though it may be, I think in terms of action plan as well. I don't rest easy until I've at least given myself a practical direction to take - this coming from one of the world's most impractical people (you should see my clothes and know full well that I'd be the first to die in a nuclear winter *laughs*). My mind is constantly scanning my environment (I assume that's my Se at work) and drawing that information INTO myself (Ni). Maybe we do boil everything down into its essence and internalize, but not before picking it from the outer world first. An action plan without trustworthy data is useless to me - so it's more a matter of what I find to be trustworthy (which can be problematic if I'm not focused or am anxious). I recall forming a plan to save my family's house from foreclosure, not fully knowing what that would entail, and acting on it every day, and adapting as I went.
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
    Neutral Good
    EII-Fi subtype, Ethical/Empath, Delta/Beta
    RLUEI, Choleric/Melancholic
    Inquistive/Limbic
    AIS Holland code
    Researcher: VDI-P
    Dramatic>Sensitive>Serious

  4. #134
    Senior Member Sparrow's Avatar
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    I want to be on that show "The Colony"! That would be awesome, have you guys ever seen it? Its about a bunch of strangers with different personality types and skills living together in a post apocalyptic world...pretty cool show . Its on the discovery channel.
    Fe | Ni | Se | Ti ... 3w4 ... Lawful Neutral ... Johari -Nohari

  5. #135
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    Are we ALL post-apocalyptic rulers of the universe?! That's awesome! lol
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
    Neutral Good
    EII-Fi subtype, Ethical/Empath, Delta/Beta
    RLUEI, Choleric/Melancholic
    Inquistive/Limbic
    AIS Holland code
    Researcher: VDI-P
    Dramatic>Sensitive>Serious

  6. #136
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    ENFJs are too hot for their own good.

  7. #137
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MacGuffin View Post
    ENFJs are too hot for their own good.
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
    Neutral Good
    EII-Fi subtype, Ethical/Empath, Delta/Beta
    RLUEI, Choleric/Melancholic
    Inquistive/Limbic
    AIS Holland code
    Researcher: VDI-P
    Dramatic>Sensitive>Serious

  8. #138
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    Quote Originally Posted by Domino View Post
    Does water work?









    Whoops! Guess not.


  9. #139
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    *puts you on the short list for post-Apocalyptic elimination*
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
    Neutral Good
    EII-Fi subtype, Ethical/Empath, Delta/Beta
    RLUEI, Choleric/Melancholic
    Inquistive/Limbic
    AIS Holland code
    Researcher: VDI-P
    Dramatic>Sensitive>Serious

  10. #140
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    I'll be in my bunker.

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