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[Fe] Stuck

Striver

New member
Joined
Jul 25, 2010
Messages
11
MBTI Type
Infj
Enneagram
4
Hi, im Expanding. My name represents my soul. Im always searching for meaning and ways to become more integrated within myself so that i can truly be of service to the world and feel good. I have some great friends and enjoy good relationships. However I have an isfp colleague who doesnt accept me, is intimidated by me, puts me down in public etc. On the other hand she can be very nice to me and shows affection sometimes. Im confused. where do i stand with her? Any comments? Id greatly appreciate some clarity on this
 

Expanding

New member
Joined
Jul 29, 2010
Messages
62
MBTI Type
Infj
Enneagram
4
Sorry, i used my friend, Strivers, password to write the above thread. It was written by me, Expanding. Looking forward to hearing your opinions
 

Words of Ivory

facettes de la petite mor
Joined
Jun 19, 2010
Messages
492
MBTI Type
INFJ
Ask her.

At the end of the day, the only people who can fix this problem are the two of you.
 

Expanding

New member
Joined
Jul 29, 2010
Messages
62
MBTI Type
Infj
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Thanks for your advice. I would love to but she would probably tell me that im imagining things or looking for problems. She told me so when i mentioned something i was worried about
 

ThatsWhatHeSaid

Well-known member
Joined
May 11, 2007
Messages
7,263
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
5w4
Hi, im Expanding. My name represents my soul. Im always searching for meaning and ways to become more integrated within myself so that i can truly be of service to the world and feel good. I have some great friends and enjoy good relationships. However I have an isfp colleague who doesnt accept me, is intimidated by me, puts me down in public etc. On the other hand she can be very nice to me and shows affection sometimes. Im confused. where do i stand with her? Any comments? Id greatly appreciate some clarity on this

First, I'm glad you added that your name is Expanding, because until then I just assumed you were batshit crazy.

Second, I think you should call her out when you puts you down in public. You can say something like "what's that all about?" with a very serious face. She'll say "what? I was just kidding" and you bust out something like "well it's not funny." Make her feel uncomfortable, rather than her making you feel uncomfortable. Let that feeling sit for a while and then ask her if you can talk. Again, be serious, not submissive and placating. Tell her that you're sorry for calling her out like that, but you're not okay with the way she puts you down. Mention that it seems like she's acting competitive with you and tell her that you have the utmost respect for her as a colleague and want to transcend the competitiveness. That might require some adjustments from both of you, as you both might be contributing to that atmosphere. You can explore those adjustments together in your conversation.
 
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