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Thread: Stuck

  1. #1
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    Default Stuck

    Hi, im Expanding. My name represents my soul. Im always searching for meaning and ways to become more integrated within myself so that i can truly be of service to the world and feel good. I have some great friends and enjoy good relationships. However I have an isfp colleague who doesnt accept me, is intimidated by me, puts me down in public etc. On the other hand she can be very nice to me and shows affection sometimes. Im confused. where do i stand with her? Any comments? Id greatly appreciate some clarity on this

  2. #2
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    Sorry, i used my friend, Strivers, password to write the above thread. It was written by me, Expanding. Looking forward to hearing your opinions

  3. #3
    facettes de la petite mor Words of Ivory's Avatar
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    Ask her.

    At the end of the day, the only people who can fix this problem are the two of you.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

    "Life calls out the meaning of pure jubilance,
    if you'll only take the time to hear it."
    ~ Words of Ivory ~

  4. #4
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    Thanks for your advice. I would love to but she would probably tell me that im imagining things or looking for problems. She told me so when i mentioned something i was worried about

  5. #5
    Senior Member ThatsWhatHeSaid's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Striver View Post
    Hi, im Expanding. My name represents my soul. Im always searching for meaning and ways to become more integrated within myself so that i can truly be of service to the world and feel good. I have some great friends and enjoy good relationships. However I have an isfp colleague who doesnt accept me, is intimidated by me, puts me down in public etc. On the other hand she can be very nice to me and shows affection sometimes. Im confused. where do i stand with her? Any comments? Id greatly appreciate some clarity on this
    First, I'm glad you added that your name is Expanding, because until then I just assumed you were batshit crazy.

    Second, I think you should call her out when you puts you down in public. You can say something like "what's that all about?" with a very serious face. She'll say "what? I was just kidding" and you bust out something like "well it's not funny." Make her feel uncomfortable, rather than her making you feel uncomfortable. Let that feeling sit for a while and then ask her if you can talk. Again, be serious, not submissive and placating. Tell her that you're sorry for calling her out like that, but you're not okay with the way she puts you down. Mention that it seems like she's acting competitive with you and tell her that you have the utmost respect for her as a colleague and want to transcend the competitiveness. That might require some adjustments from both of you, as you both might be contributing to that atmosphere. You can explore those adjustments together in your conversation.

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