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  1. #1
    Senior Member Rebe's Avatar
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    Default Typing my boss and Slight work issue

    I see strong signs of Fe and Te.
    I am not sure if he is an introvert or extrovert.
    We communicate seemingly in a very similar way, which is quite rare.
    He is a very shrewd businessman but he also radiates warmth, kindness and understanding.
    I question whether his warmth is real or just a persona that he believes is most successful to his business. He goes out of his way for his customers, but he still keeps most of himself detached.

    I see no Fi, like mine, but Fe is possible because he is so good with people.
    He is matter of fact, practical and is interested in underlying human motivations.
    He is curious but whether in a personal or pure business sense, I do not know.
    He could get anyone to do anything basically. I don't know how he does it.
    He is very charismatic and can be very friendly and goofy, even flirtatious.
    But when he is angry, oh my god - extremely, extremely intimating. If he ever yells at me, I'd pee my pants.

    He seems very intuitive and sensitive to things unsaid. I would just be lost in my thoughts and he can sense if my mood shifts. He can tell before I say something or if I want to say something. I think he takes offense from whatever he perceives by the little things I do or do not do.
    Sometimes he takes things personally but not from a Fi or Fe standpoint.
    He is someone who cares if he's missing a dollar.
    He acts like a friend to everyone but at some point, I noticed that he is first and foremost a business man and my boss so I have been reserved myself as I do not want to cross a line.

    Lately, I feel tense around him. I don't know if it's my energy or his energy. It makes me rather uncomfortable. The thing is, I need to stay at this job but I can't tell if he wants me to stay after the summer's over or not as I was planning to go back to school. I make little mistakes because of my lack of memory/attention to little details but overall, I am very friendly, honest and conscientious. I just don't know what he's thinking. It's be awkward if I want to stay at the job but he doesn't want me to (yes, I am hyper sensitive). I don't feel that he needs to know my personal reasons for wanting to take some time off school, but at the same time, I don't know how to assert myself into this job position as I do cringe at every mistake that I make.

    I don't know where I stand with him. I know he is stressed because business is not picking up like he expected. I can't trust his general personality because he is extremely charismatic and always show a warm side to him.

    My guess is ENTJ or ENFJ but he could also be an introvert, ISTJ or INTJ. But he does seem very aware of emotions and can read me very well and is really suave with strangers. Even the most sour-faced customers open up and giggles. One woman always give me the evil eye but with him, she's so chatty and smiley.

    I suppose I just need to figure out what I need and go for it. But I am in this pensive, anxious state for different reasons and I do not feel confident in asserting myself. What do you guys think?

  2. #2
    likes this gromit's Avatar
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    Just to get it out of the way... any chance of sexual tension on either side of things? Also, I'm not clear: is the job through your school or is it in the place of school?
    Your kisses, sweeter than honey. But guess what, so is my money.

  3. #3
    Junior Member Loliz's Avatar
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    I am guessing ENTJ only because I have worked for two successful business men and they were ENTPs (classic enneagram 3s) - charming, bright, assertive...they have both gone through stress times and they would get colder and preoccupied, too. I am having a hard time with my superbossman now cause I am leaving to start school and he keeps tricking me into staying longer cause he's got the mad manipulative moves and I'm a pushover! ugh. But direct communication totally works with these types though, so that is nice.

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    I am dead sure this guy is EJ
    You mention that you'd pee your pants if he yelled at you, which leads me to think that he might have more Te than Fe.
    From the rest of what you say, I'd say an ENTJ who's cares a lot about little details. He seems like a good boss, that would not make a very good friend. Well, at least not to me.

  5. #5
    Senior Member Rebe's Avatar
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    Gromit, he's much older than me.

    He can't be both my boss and my friend.
    He's very mentor-ish and actually explains everything in detail but not just boring detail, he explains how and why very patiently and has Te-theories I guess.
    Yes, I can see Te being dominant and he learned Fe over the years to be successful.

    I feel incompetent whenever I make a mistake so I keep thinking about my pile of mistakes. I don't feel confident enough to ask to stay in the job. And I wish he's give me some hints but I can't tell because he is so diplomatic.

  6. #6
    i love skylights's Avatar
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    i think ENFJ.

    He could get anyone to do anything basically. I don't know how he does it.
    and
    He is very charismatic and can be very friendly and goofy, even flirtatious.
    and
    I think he takes offense from whatever he perceives by the little things I do or do not do
    and
    He seems very intuitive and sensitive to things unsaid. I would just be lost in my thoughts and he can sense if my mood shift
    all make me think so.

    He is someone who cares if he's missing a dollar.
    and
    He acts like a friend to everyone but at some point, I noticed that he is first and foremost a business man and my boss so I have been reserved myself as I do not want to cross a line.
    these sound a bit more ENTJ, but i've had an ENFJ (tested) supervisor before, and he was very adamant that business relationships are business relationships. the biggest difference, to me, is that ENTJ is very straightforward. ENFJ is more likely to con you into doing their bidding and somehow making you happy to do it. though, they can both be very critical.

    i suspect it would be a bit taxing for an ENTJ to be so people-pleasing all the time, while it's second nature for the ENFJ. ENTJ relationships can certainly be energetic too, but they'll be less people-oriented and more idea-oriented. and having Fi too, i know that sometimes we pick up overemphasized Fe as being fake - but i suspect that for him it's just pushing it a tiny bit more than usual, because it is so good for business.

    and if he is, the intimidation factor --

    Quote Originally Posted by old thread comment
    Anyhooo... ENFJs (my sister is one) can also rip you a new one just like the ENTJ
    ENFJ friend of mine can scare the shit out of people too. they can both burn you to a crisp and leave you roasting. but, the ENFJ is more likely to be cold because they're concealing emotions about it and not wanting to deal with you because you're an emotional burden, while the ENTJ is more likely to be cold because they think you're an idiot and don't really care to deal with you because you're an unproductive burden.

    either way it sounds like he has pretty good Te and Fe


    as for the job, my suspicion is that you're doing a better job than you think you are - and he'll probably appreciate the longest possible period of notice that you'd like to stay regardless of type. but i think knowing whether he's more T or F is a smart move in deciding how to approach him about it.

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