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  1. #11
    Senior Member mochajava's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by OneWithSoul View Post
    On the other hand, I feel like a lot of people aren't well equipped to deal with highly competitive people and that they should toughen up. I'm not saying this to be hard on soft people, I mean it as advice because I hate it when it gets to people because then it makes me feel bad.
    Good call.

  2. #12
    meinmeinmein! mmhmm's Avatar
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    am used to competitive people. i went to school and
    worked with overachievers.

    i've become more competitive as i've gotten older.
    in the sense of always trying to challenge and better
    myself. "if you think it's good enough, then it probably isn't".

    but i don't get too worked up with failing. it's humbling.
    and that's good. and that's when you know you're learning
    and growing.
    every normal man must be tempted, at times,
    to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag,
    and begin slitting throats.
    h.l. mencken

  3. #13
    Senior Member Nonsensical's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mmhmm View Post
    am used to competitive people. i went to school and
    worked with overachievers.

    i've become more competitive as i've gotten older.
    in the sense of always trying to challenge and better
    myself. "if you think it's good enough, then it probably isn't".

    but i don't get too worked up with failing. it's humbling.
    and that's good. and that's when you know you're learning
    and growing.
    Amen to that.
    Is it that by its indefiniteness it shadows forth the heartless voids and immensities of the universe, and thus stabs us from behind with the thought of annihilation, when beholding the white depths of the milky way?

  4. #14
    Senior Member Sparrow's Avatar
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    -How do you handle these people? (give them a taste of their own medicine? take the high road? claw their eyes out?)

    I just stew inside, and want to tell them to shut the f*ck up...but I usually just let them go on with their glory, and let them look like a cocky idiot. Its not worth it for me to say anything and cause drama over something like that.
    Usually this happens it in front of a crowd of people they are trying to impress for some reason. I wouldnt want to embaress them even more, they already look like idiots! Should I say something? lol I dunno...
    Fe | Ni | Se | Ti ... 3w4 ... Lawful Neutral ... Johari -Nohari

  5. #15
    Senior Member angelhair45's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by OneWithSoul View Post
    I'm a very competitive person and if I don't give winning everything I've got (regardless of whether or not I actually win) I have lost against myself and I feel like shit.

    One upping show insecurity and an unhealthy craving for appraisal and attention. It makes you look like a messed up idiot.

    On the other hand, I feel like a lot of people aren't well equipped to deal with highly competitive people and that they should toughen up. I'm not saying this to be hard on soft people, I mean it as advice because I hate it when it gets to people because then it makes me feel bad.
    But who wants to compete at everything?Who wants to go to dinner with friends or family and have to compete with your friend over everything? I don't want to compete over who's life is better, richer, worse, etc. EVERYTHING is more than you. Does that make any sense. These people will do whatever they can to make themselves look better than you. I've had them lie straight to my face so that I would fail.

    These people will compete in ALL MATTERS! They will compete in matters of love, art, music, thoughts, ideas, bad circumstances, attention, just life in general, etc. It's draining, and sucks to be the person on the receiving end.

    I have no problems with competition in a balanced manner. It has nothing to do with being soft. It's called, "Who the Fuck wants to compete at LIFE every second, I want to enjoy my life not be better than you."
    http://bohemianextrovert.wordpress.com/
    Please excuse the long drawn out ramble above.
    I have to hear what I've said before I know what I think.

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  6. #16
    Senior Member Tiltyred's Avatar
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    I have one person like that in my life and as much as possible, I smile and nod, smile and nod. There are a couple of areas where my expertise is greater than hers but if I share, she gets threatened and makes meowy remarks and I secretly want to choke her, so ... it's not worth engaging.

  7. #17
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    Oh yeah, and a jealous female I have encountered who will not let me talk to her boyfriend, who is my best friend, because talking to him OBVIOUSLY means that I am in love with him even though he was my friend before he was her boyfriend. -_-

    Sorry...run on sentence...

    How do I deal with her? I (regrettably) let her walk all over me. Give her her way. If she doesn't want me to talk to him, then fine, I won't talk to him. Which upsets him, but I don't want her to get mad at me OR him so it's better for the both of us.

    Gah...I don't like girls...I'm upset that I am one...

  8. #18
    Senior Member Vamp's Avatar
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    I'm a competitive person and I enjoy competitive people. I don't like it when it's that weird jealousy type stuff where they just want to try and make you look bad because they are insecure. Or the dishonest kind of "competing" where a girl does nothing but take sideways swipes at you because they are too passive aggressive to confront you directly.

    I also hate the kind of competition where the other person has to have complete control/submission. My cousin is like this and it's a chore to be around her and her family. If they can't beat someone into submission they get nasty.

    Quote Originally Posted by musicnerd93 View Post
    Gah...I don't like girls...I'm upset that I am one...
    Boys have plenty of undesirable personality traits too. Why does it always turn into female self-hate when we have unpleasant interactions with other females? I don't get that.
    It's like most females have such a nasty perception of what it means to be female they think every undesirable trait is their feminine reflection and despise being a girl. That's patriarchy at work.
    George Bernard Shaw in cartoon form.

  9. #19
    i love skylights's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by musicnerd93 View Post
    Oh yeah, and a jealous female I have encountered who will not let me talk to her boyfriend, who is my best friend, because talking to him OBVIOUSLY means that I am in love with him even though he was my friend before he was her boyfriend. -_-

    Sorry...run on sentence...

    How do I deal with her? I (regrettably) let her walk all over me. Give her her way. If she doesn't want me to talk to him, then fine, I won't talk to him. Which upsets him, but I don't want her to get mad at me OR him so it's better for the both of us.

    Gah...I don't like girls...I'm upset that I am one...
    aw, no worries, i've experienced jealous guys too. it's never pretty.

    actually, i think this is where it would be most effective for your best friend to step in and draw some lines. because it's him she's so concerned about losing - even if you tried to talk to her, and reassure her that you have no bad intentions, she might still worry about him "falling prey" to you. he needs to be the one reassuring her that her status as his girlfriend is secure regardless of others outside their relationship - not to mention that it's not her place to block others off from him. it's completely a matter of her trusting him - it shouldn't have anything to do with you, and you shouldn't have to deal with it.

  10. #20
    Senior Member You's Avatar
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    I've done some assholish things before. People have done them back. Thats life. You take the good with the bad - and all that cliche bullshit. Either way, it can be draining. Competition is great, because it can bring out the best in people. Failing miserably is god too, because you have to nurse your wounds. You understand whoever you are competing in the future with.

    In the end though, I have to say it's best to compete when the ground rules are laid that you are on equal footing. Competing just to be better, and not for the fun of it, becomes an annoyance.

    Like recently, I was sitting down with a girl, and a guy comes up. Obviously he's trying to make a move in on the girl I'm talking to, and what do I do? I ask him is he still living with his mom? Very casually.

    How that relates, I don't know. It's just a confessional, because I felt very bad for cock-blocking an acquaintance like that...Point is, don't go for low blows in competition and keep it clean.

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