I admit it is quite ironic to post a thread about wanting to know if figuring people out is okay, on a forum that is dedicated to figuring people out!!
Nevertheless, I will ask the question in a different way in order for you to understand why I am asking the question and hopefully you may have some insight.
Let's say you knew someone but not very well, but wanted to get to know them much better, but didn't want to wait for time to pass to get to know them extremely well. Your interest was piqued to the degree that you wanted to know everything about them. Then let's say that you happened to be in a book store that sold all kinds of rare and obscure books and you happened to see a book written about them in the biography section.
Of course you would pick up the book and read every page wishing the book never ended but continued to describe every aspect of that person in as much detail as possible.
Now you've finished the book, and want desperately to hang out with that person because you (after having read the book) now think that you are closer to them and have so much in common with them, or if not in common with them, at least you think you are on their side, and essentially love them, because you "know" them, know them now. So you hang out with him/her but find no words or no point of entry to talk to them at the level you wish to.
1) If you could read a biography about one of your acquaintances that they didn't know was written about them, would it be wrong to read it? If not wrong, would you consider it an expression of you loving the person?
2)Does loving someone, necessarily entail wanting to understand them, psychoanalytically speaking?
3)what is the benefit of knowing someones psychological makeup other than to try and manipulate them, even if that manipulation is towards a benevolent end? Let's say you want to help heal someone of past hurts, can you do so by trying to understand them?
4)What is healing for that matter? Can the person who read the acquaintances biography help in the healing process of the person? Or would true healing require the more organic nature of true friendships that develop over time?