I deleted my earlier post, because it was too choppy.
I initially wanted to address all of your posts because they are all really helpful and insightful. As I was trying to do that, I got lost in the details and forgot about the overarching thing I wanted to say.
To address the reocurring question as to whether this is a hypothetical or real story, Jennifer assumed correctly: This is a hypothetical situation.
However, I'm not talking about gathering information on someone via the internet though. I chose to analogize my situation to a biography because It relates more to how I am gathering information about the person. Even though we talk, and we have some conversations about life that sometimes go into detail about our own lives, I am going back into my mind to imagine how she has become the person she has become, by remember things she said, things she hasn't said, pondering on the authors she likes, etc.. essentially trying to paint a picture of her character based on the minimal details I know. Obviously, it won't be a very descriptive picture, but I want to know more...and as this desire arises in me to want to know more...I seek out more ways to find information about her, which makes me ask myself the four questions I posted on this thread.
I'm very sensitive to her having the attitude copperfish17 described and I try very hard to notice whether she is at all disturbed by my interest in her. So far, I don't see that to be the case, I will definitely back off if I ever get that impression, my goal is to develop a real frienship with her, not suffocate her with a selfish desire to understand her. The only reason I want to understand her is because I like her.
The irony in a situation like this is, that the more you express interest, even though someone does want that, the minute they receive it, they begin to scrutinize the attention they receive to such a degree because, being that they want it so badly, it must be perfect according to how they want this interest to be directed towards them. So in a sense, my expression of interest in her, will potentially set off a purification by fire process in her. Scary thought, but at least I'll know how true my love is and how much I'm willing to endure for her.