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  1. #1
    Senior Member swordpath's Avatar
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    Default My crazy ENFJ friend

    As a judgmental ISTJ, what is the best way to deal with this incredibly fickle/crazy (and no shortage of sharing all her fleeting thoughts) friend-that's-a-girl of mine? We talk often on the phone and so often do I find myself criticizing and tearing her down. She's a real sweet girl but holy shit, completely goes against my grain personality wise. Maybe some fellow ENFJs can shed light.

  2. #2
    Senior Member alcea rosea's Avatar
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    I'm not ENFJ but I would suggest that you let her be what she is. So no judging! :1377:

  3. #3
    RETIRED CzeCze's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Alcearos View Post
    I'm not ENFJ but I would suggest that you let her be what she is. So no judging! :1377:
    Kekeke.

    I have a good friend who is ISTJ and I know I drive her crazy. She tells me frequently. My life decisions frustrate her and she has told me make no sense to her.

    But ah, such is the beauty of friendship.

  4. #4
    Senior Member swordpath's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Alcearos View Post
    I'm not ENFJ but I would suggest that you let her be what she is. So no judging! :1377:

  5. #5
    filling some space UnitOfPopulation's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Alcearos View Post
    I'm not ENFJ but I would suggest that you let her be what she is. So no judging! :1377:
    :yim_rolling_on_the_

    sounds like a super advice
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  6. #6
    にゃん runvardh's Avatar
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    My ISTJ friend has given up on criticizing me mostly because I have created a history of understanding a situation better than him. I turned him into someone who requests my advice on situations, especially when it concerns the girls he likes.
    Dreams are best served manifest and tangible.

    INFP, 6w7, IEI

    I accept no responsibility, what so ever, for the fact that I exist; I do, however, accept full responsibility for what I do while I exist.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  7. #7
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    I know, from personal experience, that there's sometimes a "hiccup" in translation between ISTJs and ENFJs. I have no idea what this is or why/how it happens, but I've seen it happen many times. I don't usually have problems with ISTJs, but I know that they find my levels of impracticality to be frequently flabbergasting. My ENFP sister seems to speak their crazy ISTJ moon language by instinct, whereas I find myself hoping I don't make them insane with my near-complete disconnect with Terra Firma. I really like ISTJs and got along great with the ones who are circulating around my sister (I used to hope I'd get an ISTJ BIL because I liked them so much! ), and I try to be more like Jaye so I don't maybe make their eyes cross with my floopiness. *laughs*

    Is there something in particular that she's doing to make you crazy, Beatastic? Like she's telling you a bunch of stuff and asking advice but not taking it? That kind of thing?
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
    Neutral Good
    EII-Fi subtype, Ethical/Empath, Delta/Beta
    RLUEI, Choleric/Melancholic
    Inquistive/Limbic
    AIS Holland code
    Researcher: VDI-P
    Dramatic>Sensitive>Serious

  8. #8
    Senior Member swordpath's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PinkPiranha View Post
    I know, from personal experience, that there's sometimes a "hiccup" in translation between ISTJs and ENFJs. I have no idea what this is or why/how it happens, but I've seen it happen many times. I don't usually have problems with ISTJs, but I know that they find my levels of impracticality to be frequently flabbergasting. My ENFP sister seems to speak their crazy ISTJ moon language by instinct, whereas I find myself hoping I don't make them insane with my near-complete disconnect with Terra Firma. I really like ISTJs and got along great with the ones who are circulating around my sister (I used to hope I'd get an ISTJ BIL because I liked them so much! ), and I try to be more like Jaye so I don't maybe make their eyes cross with my floopiness. *laughs*

    Is there something in particular that she's doing to make you crazy, Beatastic? Like she's telling you a bunch of stuff and asking advice but not taking it? That kind of thing?
    haha. I must know what "floopiness" is...

    Yes, there are things in particular that she does that makes my head spin. She definitely asks for advice a lot and even agrees that it's good/right but doesn't follow through with it (often the case). She's very clingy (as in she ALWAYS wants to talk). She juggles between "needing" several boys that she has in rotation. She'll get real down about something not working out with one guy and then 5 minutes later she doesn't care anymore but she "needs" her ex bf, or something like that.

    A few months back she was in a relationship with her boyfriend at the time, they were physical but didn't ever do the deed. Both of them wanted to wait until marriage. Present day: she is having a sexual relationship with a guy she works with but is not "together" with. They are just friends and they only do physical stuff when they're both drunk. Recently she claimed she needed to not hang out with him outside of work because she didn't feel like it was beneficial for her well being. She threw that notion out the window, I believe the next day, and last night... they did their thing again. It's just frustrating. Especially cause she always wants to include me in all her life's details and most of them irritate me.

    It sounds like I'm bashing my friend but I'm not trying to. She is funny, smart , sweet and fun but......

  9. #9
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by TheBeatGoesOn View Post
    haha. I must know what "floopiness" is...

    Yes, there are things in particular that she does that makes my head spin. She definitely asks for advice a lot and even agrees that it's good/right but doesn't follow through with it (often the case). She's very clingy (as in she ALWAYS wants to talk). She juggles between "needing" several boys that she has in rotation. She'll get real down about something not working out with one guy and then 5 minutes later she doesn't care anymore but she "needs" her ex bf, or something like that.

    A few months back she was in a relationship with her boyfriend at the time, they were physical but didn't ever do the deed. Both of them wanted to wait until marriage. Present day: she is having a sexual relationship with a guy she works with but is not "together" with. They are just friends and they only do physical stuff when they're both drunk. Recently she claimed she needed to not hang out with him outside of work because she didn't feel like it was beneficial for her well being. She threw that notion out the window, I believe the next day, and last night... they did their thing again. It's just frustrating. Especially cause she always wants to include me in all her life's details and most of them irritate me.

    It sounds like I'm bashing my friend but I'm not trying to. She is funny, smart , sweet and fun but......

    Dude. Are you kidding? She'd drive ME crazy.
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
    Neutral Good
    EII-Fi subtype, Ethical/Empath, Delta/Beta
    RLUEI, Choleric/Melancholic
    Inquistive/Limbic
    AIS Holland code
    Researcher: VDI-P
    Dramatic>Sensitive>Serious

  10. #10
    Senior Member swordpath's Avatar
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    Not kidding. That's just a fraction of stuff.

    I guess I just live with the fact that I have a crazy friend.

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