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[INFP] Common INFP Issues

lulabelle

New member
Joined
Aug 24, 2014
Messages
255
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
4w5
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
Wow! Never. Selfish or self-absorbed a few times, it surprises me because I didn't even realize my own behavior at the time. I try to evolve as a person, so I keep myself in check. I am very introspective.

Narcissists have zero empathy and that is something INFPs have plenty of. Maybe too much.

narcissists have empathy, they're just incredibly self-loathing and self-obsessed to a very high degree. you're thinking of sociopaths/psychopaths (the new label is anti-social personality disorder)

- - - Updated - - -

Do you guys often get told you're narcissists?

naw. i'm not THAT self-involved. i'm fairly aware of my faults and never believe i'm the Best
 

Francesca

New member
Joined
Oct 27, 2014
Messages
3
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
9
Hey, I don't know if you'll all get this, but do other INFPs feel like they wear masks? Like they steal personality traits from people around them in order to be accepted?

I wouldn't say I steal "personality traits" but I do "pretend" a lot in social situations, for example I fake confidence or I play silly a lot, especially around friends, I like to joke around and sometimes make a complete fool out of myself lol, which is really not who I am, I mean I am funny but I'm not a clown, I just tend to wear that "mask" because I just want people to like me tbh lol OR I can be the complete opposite and pretend I'm really tough and cool and I often appear cold to people who don't know me well when in fact I am the most sensitive wimp ever.
 

Francesca

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Joined
Oct 27, 2014
Messages
3
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
9
Narcissism has always been a complicated subject for me. I am well aware of my ability. I have an IQ above 140, and standardize test in atleast the 95% in each subject. Where does being proud of this cross the line with Narcissism?

Well, for me; the statistical advantage has always been clear, and I have always thought that I must preform better than others (in a dangerously competitive way) but I don't do it because I think I am better, I try and prove myself smarter or stronger or more creative than someone because I know that the numbers say I should, and if I'm not then I am wasting my gift.

By definition, self-loathing and narcissism are polar opposites, but here they draw a fine line. I can not be content with being just average because I know I should be better, not because I think I am better.

My friend once told me that the way I think of my progress is as a pitcher full of water. I see my pitcher as larger, and so I must fill it all the way. If I were a narcissist, I;d think it already full.

Very well said.
 

Maybelady

New member
Joined
Nov 12, 2014
Messages
3
MBTI Type
xxxP
I'm new here and the more I read this thread, the more I want to cry.

Its liberating to discover that I'm not a strange misfit and that there are actually people that feel the way I do.

I just want to thank everyone that took the time to respond to this thread, it has been really revealing!
 

bg67

New member
Joined
Nov 23, 2014
Messages
5
MBTI Type
IxFP
How common is it for INFPs to have "addictive" personality, if you know what I mean, to keep doing something that makes you feel good, although its irrelevant even detrimental to your goals/purpose? Or is it a very Se thing (ISFP)?
 

MyCupOfTea

New member
Joined
Oct 25, 2014
Messages
138
MBTI Type
INxP
How common is it for INFPs to have "addictive" personality, if you know what I mean, to keep doing something that makes you feel good, although its irrelevant even detrimental to your goals/purpose? Or is it a very Se thing (ISFP)?

My goals are rather abstract and I have so many ideas to choose from how to get there. I mean, I can get inspired about something and spend my time with it just to realize that it wasn't that great path for me and jump into something else. Usually my ideas stay as daydreams like I know that they are just too out there or something. :) So I guess you can call the inspirations some kind of addictions but I don't think they are necessary irrelevant (at least my point of view!).

But if you mean by addiction something that gives you immediate pleasure but is bad for you in the end (like gambling, buying stuff you cannot afford...) that doesn't sound much like an INFP.
 

melomania

New member
Joined
Dec 22, 2014
Messages
56
MBTI Type
INFP
Can you comment on the tendancy to cocoon when you guys need to sort something out of think it over? What are you doing during that process (when to the outside it may look like reading, playing video games, smoking etc)? How do you go about solving the problem at hand? (I've heard some INFPs say that they have to complete tear down the existing stuff and start from scratch) Do you want people to leave you alone, or respectfully check in on you now and again?

For me, dealing with intense emotions takes a lot mental sorting and processing until I can turn the feelings into coherent statements. But when it looks like we're just reading, or playing video games, or smoking...it's because we are. I have to switch my focus to something else sometimes before I can process my feelings. It's sort of like when you can't figure out the solution to a math problem or you can't figure out how to end a song and you have to just put in down and walk away for a minute. Then you either have an epiphany in the middle of something else or you come back to whatever you're working on and look at it from a fresh perspective.

I think it's also about just taking some time to let some of that emotion leave the situation, because once I'm less emotional, it's easier for me to access some logic and better communicate. But checking in is always good as long as you're not being too invasive. Just being there physically(i.e. hugging, holding, consoling) helps to comfort us after an argument, and it can help alleviate some of that emotional stress because it helps to remind us that whatever happened isn't "the end of the world".
 

blahblahbob

New member
Joined
Dec 16, 2014
Messages
127
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
5w4
I personally believe that i have had a narcissistic personality disorder - and yes, i have been accused of narcissism and cruelty. :thinking: :wacko:

To your statement lecky i have to say that both extreme ends are unhealthy narcissism: caring too little and caring too much. For example taking care of other persons emotional needs above yourself and extensively is narcissism, you don't recognize your limit's nor the other persons private area. You see...Like being a therapist to another person and attaching him/her this way to you. INFP know how people feel and that's base for manipulation.
Narcissism is not that simple term.

I dont know are these issues only common in INFP's, but like you can see above, my biggest problems have been several mental disorders: borderline personality disorder, narcissm, ptsd, depression, anxiety, social anxiety disorder, panic attacks, bipolar and so forth. My head drives me crazy.

Show me an example of a narcissistic INFP and I'll show you someone mistyped or deliberately slandered for the purposes of political/sociological repression.
 

xenaprincess

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 7, 2011
Messages
5,192
MBTI Type
infp
Enneagram
6w5
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
I tend to hate my own guts every time I flip out at someone... which happens from time to time. (not something I usually see on infp problems). Also have a tendency to start talking about some favorite subject and just go on and on until the other person is not only bored but frustrated... which is followed by the same self-loathing reaction. These are generally two things I have no control over : temper and talking.

^^^OMG, this is me. My temper is pretty terrible at times.
Most of the time, I am placid, half-serious, half-playful. But if someone irks me, I will try to deal with it. And then my annoyance builds and builds until it gushes forth like absolute insanity. I will have a short, very forceful outburst, then follow that up with self-reproach for a day or three.

For some reason I can't think ahead fast enough to let some of the emotion peep out before it is too late. :shock:
 

MattL

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Joined
Apr 28, 2015
Messages
11
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
4w3
Instinctual Variant
sp
I've always had trouble understanding simple orders for some reason, and I'd always sit at the back of the classroom otherwise I'd get extremely anxious and won't be able to focus on my work :/

I think that might just be me though, but ah well. Have a lovely day :)
 

Kas

Fabula rasa
Joined
Apr 22, 2015
Messages
2,554
Saying one thing, meaning another and then being hurt and disappointed because someone didn't understand.
 

INFPtheQuietOne

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May 8, 2015
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122
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INFP
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4w5
Instinctual Variant
sp
As an INFp I'd say that we have lots of issues and I wish the world was more peaceful, but I accept it as it is since nothing is perfect and the world runs on Te-doms.
Some issues are:
Dom Fi-Ne We're naturally sensitive and dreamy, so we can easily zone out and be unaware of what happened. Sometimes, we second guess ourselves and others which can be a disadvantage. That means we're too unsure of ourselves and other people's emotions.
Low Te Because our thinking functions are weak, we're naturally so quiet and prone to passitivity. People may see us as illogical, delusional, or naive.
 

fetus

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Mar 22, 2015
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Losing track of everything, even if it's in plain sight...
 

Kensei

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Mar 30, 2015
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ESTP
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7w8
Instinctual Variant
sx
Being so damn cute, they attract the attention their introverted nature doesn't want ;D
 

INFPtheQuietOne

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sp
Being so damn cute, they attract the attention their introverted nature doesn't want ;D
Yeah, that happens to us INFPs and people think we are innocent because we never talk. We're stuck in our thoughts and everyone's thinks we're scared, hiding, or something.
 

INFPtheQuietOne

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4w5
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sp
Other INFP Issues
1. People always ask why we're so quiet.
2. Being such a good listener we're used as dumping ground for other's problems.
3. Clumsiness
4. People see us as a pushover
5. People think we're boring because we don't socialize much.
6. Crowds
7. People always ask you, "What's wrong?"
8. Being a male, but not having masculine qualities
9. Perceiving the good in everything to a fault
10. Feeling overly guilty even though the other person was wrong
11. People doubt us
12. Why can't we all just get along?
13. Violence/Conflict
14. We are too personal.
15. Responsibility
16. We remember something so long ago like it was just yesterday
17. We think too much of possibilities
18. Being emo and negative
19. Being too spacey
20. Being startled/scared too easily
21. Bad at multitasking
22. Terrible at lying, manipulating, stuff con-artists do
23. We get taken advantage of too easily
24. Trying the cover up the fact that you're crying, but you can't
25. Being too unsure of ourselves
26. Misinterpreting other people
27. People dislike us because they think we're antisocial loners
Finally, we are just very misunderstood.
 

grey_beard

The Typing Tabby
Joined
Jan 28, 2014
Messages
1,478
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
5w4
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
Other INFP Issues
1. People always ask why we're so quiet.
2. Being such a good listener we're used as dumping ground for other's problems.
3. Clumsiness
4. People see us as a pushover
5. People think we're boring because we don't socialize much.
6. Crowds
7. People always ask you, "What's wrong?"
8. Being a male, but not having masculine qualities
9. Perceiving the good in everything to a fault
10. Feeling overly guilty even though the other person was wrong
11. People doubt us
12. Why can't we all just get along?
13. Violence/Conflict
14. We are too personal.
15. Responsibility
16. We remember something so long ago like it was just yesterday
17. We think too much of possibilities
18. Being emo and negative
19. Being too spacey
20. Being startled/scared too easily
21. Bad at multitasking
22. Terrible at lying, manipulating, stuff con-artists do
23. We get taken advantage of too easily
24. Trying the cover up the fact that you're crying, but you can't
25. Being too unsure of ourselves
26. Misinterpreting other people
27. People dislike us because they think we're antisocial loners
Finally, we are just very misunderstood.

If you don't mind, what is #15, please? I've never heard of INFPs being violent or anything...
 

INFPtheQuietOne

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May 8, 2015
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INFP
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4w5
Instinctual Variant
sp
If you don't mind, what is #15, please? I've never heard of INFPs being violent or anything...
That means problems with being responsible, like struggling with the fact we have to do chores, routines, etc.
 

ceecee

Coolatta® Enjoyer
Joined
Apr 22, 2008
Messages
15,908
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
8w9
That means problems with being responsible, like struggling with the fact we have to do chores, routines, etc.

Yes chores and routines are so hard.

What is it that you can do? I know other INFP's, they are nothing like this. What makes you so powerless?
 

IntrigueDuo

New member
Joined
Aug 21, 2015
Messages
1
MBTI Type
INFP
I am struggling with the possibility that I might have an "entitlement mentality." I am still recovering from past hurts and unmet needs, and I tend to wonder why people don't enjoy me or care about my dreams goals and happiness. I am considered a Neurotic according to the IPIP Big 5 and an Intrigue based on the How to Fascinate test by Sally Hogshead. I consider myself an emotional intellectual. I am also a visual mathematician and I love colorful graphic representations of things. I am fearful about people not caring about my dreams. I am fearful that the dreams I dream are out of reach. So I determined that I would start a not profit organization to help all people not have to give up their dreams. But I have no idea how to do that. I feel powerless to do anything to make my life better, which I hate, but also fear being penalized for not being able to change my life. How do you bridge the gap between those who are tormented by out of reach dreams and those who look with disdain and contempt towards those appear to want things they don't deserve to have. I have Arrested Emotional Development. Is there hope for those who long for their emptiness to be filled due to past disappointments and betrayal and unmet needs when other people frown upon our longing for our lives being improved, refusing to give people like us the support or hands up to get us on our way, because it appears that we are unable and unwilling to improve our own lives ourselves (taking responsibility for our own lives), thinking we are being manipulative and demanding since it appears we are wanting something we cannot have, even if we have truly done everything we possibly can to make our lives better, especially when our aspirations are high. They think that we are demanding others to give us a privileged living, thereby leaving us all alone in our struggles putting us at greater risk of failure. I propose social change, which includes that we combat such uncaring attitudes towards the Outcasts and if I can get free of not being able to advance any further in my life for over 9+ years, I promise to give help to others that others are not willing to give to so called "losers". I don't want someone giving me a living. I want people who will be my cheerleaders, rallying beside me as my allies while I go through the blood, sweat, and tears of struggling to make my own dreams come true by the power of God's grace! It is interesting that both me and my husband tested as Intrigues. The Intrigue is one of 49 arch-types. I didn't think my husband's would be exactly like mine, but it is. Are there any more Intrigues in the house?
 
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