I like strong women, the only problem is that I do have a backbone, and I will not stand being micro-managed or ordered around, and I find a lot of women who sort of fit that description are like that. I mean, they want to be in charge, and it's like, I am not taking that shit. No sir.
NO ONE IS THE BOSS OF ME!!
Thread: Common INFP Issues
10-29-2015, 03:24 AM #341
- Join Date
- Aug 2015
- 4w3 sx/so
- infj None
10-29-2015, 03:29 AM #342
- Join Date
- Aug 2015
- 4w3 sx/so
- infj None
The life of INFP males:
11-02-2015, 06:36 AM #343
1 When I think about a person, their image in my head gets better and better over time and it's a shock when I find out that they aren't actually like that...
2 A good friend already told me once during a fight that I should behave more authentic and not so fake. I thought about it a lot after he said that but I couldn't really say what's "authentic" about me...
3 For a few years during highschool, I really tried to be an extrovert. I was basically just stressing myself out and my grades got worse.
4 I did my scientifical project for school (we have more that one year to write it) within the last two weeks.
5 I can't say anything about that so far
6 I managed to get this under control a bit but when I was younger, people frequently told me that I can't take criticism
7 This one depends a bit on the situation
8 I usually choose to see the best in other people since there are so many other people who will only see the worst. Everyone has a right for at least a bit of emotional support. But it doesn't always make me feel insecure... it depends~When you can't change the direction of the wind - adjust your sails~
INFP - 4w5 - Neutral Good
11-21-2015, 04:26 PM #344
- Join Date
- Jan 2014
- 4w3 sx
Are INFPs innately "lazy," for lack of a more endearing term? I find that I must always summon a lot of energy to get through a task if it isn't something I really feel like doing in that moment. But, now that I think about it, what I just described I'm sure most people can relate to. I just notice it is something I really struggle with.
Also, due to my "idealistic" nature, I find that I really struggle with depression/melancholy and keeping the little grey cloud above my head at bay... I'm always day dreaming about the next thing, what could be, and struggle to live in the moment.
Also, most of the time I am completely consumed by my own love for my SO. It's like a feeling of claustrophobia where I am trapping myself in my own feelings for him, and completely idolize him.
Just a few "issues" I have as an INFP.
12-01-2015, 08:24 PM #345
Idealism is also something that I struggle with often and, while I am very proud of being this way, it definitely bites me in the ass a lot because I am constantly setting myself up for disappointment due to having unrealistic expectations of how people and the world SHOULD be. This also makes it very hard for me to forgive myself and others for making mistakes, but it is something I am working on.
I am also completely consumed by my love for my SO. The whole world ceases to exist for me when we are together and my attention is completely captivated by him on a constant basis. I idealized him much more when we first met, but we have been together for over 5 years now and we have lived together for 4 of those years and, after that much time, you get to know a person's true character and see all of their flaws and assets for what they really are. I must admit that it took me awhile to see many wonderful things about his personality because I had this preconceived and totally idealistic image of him in my mind. I thought of him like this superhuman saint-like figure, and that led to some very harsh critique on my part whenever he did something that didn't fit into this notion that I was holding. Now, I still see him as a saint, because he is the most pure-of-heart person that I know, but now what I see is more rooted in reality and I try not to hold him up to the same unrealistic standards that I hold myself to.
12-20-2015, 06:22 AM #346
12-26-2015, 05:12 PM #347
That's exactly it. The major problems most INFP's have is related to the fact that INFP's don't have many positives related to finding happiness in life. Whenever talking about the positives of being an INFP it's all about being very accepting and non-judgemental - being empathic and an emotional sponge to help other types to go on and live their happy lives. Being an INFP is not beneficial when it comes to actually achieving something in life or being happy. This is why INFP is the most likely type to have depression. It's not easy to live as a type that doesn't have any strengths that would help themselves find fulfillment and happiness in life or even finding means to pay their bills.
01-04-2016, 04:06 AM #348
3. Not sure about that....I have made some good life choices because of this! Stepping outside my ego was a good thing.
I have also made some common choices which people are sold that they should do, and I found they did not make me happy. I don't think I was trying to be someone else, but I actually bought into the illusion.
4. I have had weeks, months, years that I have wasted in "chrysalis" mode (credit @Greybeard for that). But maybe it was not a waste if I came out certain insights into myself and life. Some people never get there until the infamous midlife crisis. I procrastinate mildly on a smaller scale, but deadlines are enough to motivate me and I usually meet them with success. Goofing off is also a part of my creative process.
5. I have never been fired and all employers have been sad to see me go. I dont get jobs easily as I make bad first impressions and have trouble selling myself. I am valued over time though. I also do get very sick of a job approx 1 year in. The first 6 months are great, the next 6 tolerable, and then I am extremely bored of it. I did stick with a job for 3.5 years once. That was the longest thus far....
6. I have been told I do this sometimes, but I also think others can be passive-aggressive and deny it when you call them on their BS. Mostly I now chalk up stuff to being about the other person (ie their own insecurity) which makes it easier to brush off. I also remind myself how much I stick my foot in my mouth.
7. No. I am even picky about fantasy loves.
I tend to instead project a fantasy onto someone who has some semblance of some ideal. I have lessened this by paying attention to how I actually feel DURING interactions with them. Often, I find there was no real attraction or even liking of the person, but it was just a fantasy that I stuck on them. So payng attention to how I feel in real time has been helpful in lessening this. It might be nice to like someone because they actually make me feel GOOD.
8. Hm, I never thought how seeing the best in people was affecting me that way! I always thought this was a good trait, but I see now how it fuels envy and too-high expectations for myself. Of course, when this bubble pops (as previously noted), the pendulum can swing to exaggerated criticism of the person.... :X
I probably do use sarcasm to obscure. The wry, half-jokes are a way of revealing feelings that seem too vulnerable to be discussed straight-on. Instead of keeping people at a distance, I feel like I am testing the water with them.
The external persona I have is a really reserved, blank person. I can even seem emotionless to some, but not in the robotic way of an IxTJ. Internally I am pretty colorful and perhaps even emotionally intense, but in many surface interactions I don't convey much personality. My close family and friends think I am a "character", in contrast. I think it is more of a shell than a persona....
This has lessened a LOT with age, although initially or in certain situations I may still appear very reserved. I feel less inhibited now than simply trying to reserve energy for when I, uh, care more.
As for meeting surface demands, besides conserving energy by going blank, I probably am just polite, but aloof. I can unfortunately garner suspicion because I don't volunteer much info about myself. Because I like fashion, people may also think I am shallow. I dont seek to prove I am deep or smart though. Given my online rep for being a bit heavy, that's probably surprising.
I think people misinterpret my sensitivity. They think it is all about me and not larger values, things which affect other people too. They also project offense onto me when I feel none. They tiptoe when it's unnecessary. I think this is because when I am sensitive, they don't know or understand why, making it unpredictable to them. I don't think I am more sensitive than others, given how much will roll off my back that offends others, but it is over such different stuff (often very hard to pinpoint in concrete terms) that it seems like I am especially sensitive. So they do see how sensitive I am, I think, but they still don't get it.
01-23-2016, 06:51 PM #349
Can anyone else relate to feeling annoying by just being ourselves? Like, I always feel like I'm annoying when I'm talking about something I'm passionate about, whether it be something to do with my idealistic values or something "unimportant" like fiction. I also kind of want to share my interests with people, but will try to do this passive-aggressively (like having my favorite songs playing when someone else is in the house, hoping they'll hear it and enjoy it with me). But then I remind myself to stop or shut up because I feel like I'm annoying everyone around me. Anyone relate to this?
02-16-2016, 02:28 PM #350
Internally screaming when you know you have forgotten something incredibly important.
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