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Thread: Common INFP Issues

  1. #321
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    Quote Originally Posted by IntrigueDuo View Post
    I am struggling with the possibility that I might have an "entitlement mentality." I am still recovering from past hurts and unmet needs, and I tend to wonder why people don't enjoy me or care about my dreams goals and happiness. I am considered a Neurotic according to the IPIP Big 5 and an Intrigue based on the How to Fascinate test by Sally Hogshead. I consider myself an emotional intellectual. I am also a visual mathematician and I love colorful graphic representations of things. I am fearful about people not caring about my dreams. I am fearful that the dreams I dream are out of reach. So I determined that I would start a not profit organization to help all people not have to give up their dreams. But I have no idea how to do that. I feel powerless to do anything to make my life better, which I hate, but also fear being penalized for not being able to change my life. How do you bridge the gap between those who are tormented by out of reach dreams and those who look with disdain and contempt towards those appear to want things they don't deserve to have. I have Arrested Emotional Development. Is there hope for those who long for their emptiness to be filled due to past disappointments and betrayal and unmet needs when other people frown upon our longing for our lives being improved, refusing to give people like us the support or hands up to get us on our way, because it appears that we are unable and unwilling to improve our own lives ourselves (taking responsibility for our own lives), thinking we are being manipulative and demanding since it appears we are wanting something we cannot have, even if we have truly done everything we possibly can to make our lives better, especially when our aspirations are high. They think that we are demanding others to give us a privileged living, thereby leaving us all alone in our struggles putting us at greater risk of failure. I propose social change, which includes that we combat such uncaring attitudes towards the Outcasts and if I can get free of not being able to advance any further in my life for over 9+ years, I promise to give help to others that others are not willing to give to so called "losers". I don't want someone giving me a living. I want people who will be my cheerleaders, rallying beside me as my allies while I go through the blood, sweat, and tears of struggling to make my own dreams come true by the power of God's grace! It is interesting that both me and my husband tested as Intrigues. The Intrigue is one of 49 arch-types. I didn't think my husband's would be exactly like mine, but it is. Are there any more Intrigues in the house?
    welcome to the infp world...keep dreaming "looser". after years of dreaming. seems like that's STILL all i got. . but dreamers is what we were created to be. so i'm good

  2. #322
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    the idealism/absolutism showed up heavily in my 20's ...such a paradox: "idealistic" infp yes. but why the heck was i soooo critical and judgmental??? this seems so NOT infp. .

  3. #323
    thankful Array PeaceBaby's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by dog View Post
    the idealism/absolutism showed up heavily in my 20's ...such a paradox: "idealistic" infp yes. but why the heck was i soooo critical and judgmental??? this seems so NOT infp. .
    How about because things seldom live up to your ideals of them?
    "Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one."
    Eleanor Roosevelt


    "When people see some things as beautiful,
    other things become ugly.
    When people see some things as good,
    other things become bad."
    Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching

  4. #324
    Vaguely Precise Array Seymour's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PeaceBaby View Post
    How about because things seldom live up to your ideals of them?
    I think that's true. That's the dark underbelly of idealism.

    If one thinks people are naturally good (idealistic about human nature), for example, then one tends to feel that something is making people be bad (whether's it's "society," ill-intentioned individuals, or whatever).

    So idealism can lead to a lot of anger and resentment towards people for being normal, fallible people. It can also lead one toward feeling resentful about oneself, for failing to live up to impossible-to-attain ideals.

    So there's a fine line, I think, between hoping for and working toward something better, and judging the world and oneself for not perfectly embodying one's ideals.

    I think the late teens and early twenties tend to be a high point of idealism for many... which has pluses and minuses. I do feel sorry for people in that age range today, where that idealism seems to be getting crushed right out of the gate by economic (and other) factors. Sometimes acting on idealism can change the world for the better.
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  5. #325
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    Quote Originally Posted by PeaceBaby View Post
    How about because things seldom live up to your ideals of them?
    makes sense....i mean, maybe if i had a little realistic S in me, i could have caught that THEN.. so now, i can dream of the whole world being just simply awesome. . but otoh, i have to realize that its still a choice we ALL have to make. and all them choices never WILL nor CAN meet up to the infp ideal.

  6. #326
    Senior Member Array Opal's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by dog View Post
    the idealism/absolutism showed up heavily in my 20's ...such a paradox: "idealistic" infp yes. but why the heck was i soooo critical and judgmental??? this seems so NOT infp. .
    Likes Qlip liked this post

  7. #327
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    Quote Originally Posted by Seymour View Post
    I think that's true. That's the dark underbelly of idealism.

    If one thinks people are naturally good (idealistic about human nature), for example, then one tends to feel that something is making people be bad (whether's it's "society," ill-intentioned individuals, or whatever).

    So idealism can lead to a lot of anger and resentment towards people for being normal, fallible people. It can also lead one toward feeling resentful about oneself, for failing to live up to impossible-to-attain ideals.

    So there's a fine line, I think, between hoping for and working toward something better, and judging the world and oneself for not perfectly embodying one's ideals.

    I think the late teens and early twenties tend to be a high point of idealism for many... which has pluses and minuses. I do feel sorry for people in that age range today, where that idealism seems to be getting crushed right out of the gate by economic (and other) factors. Sometimes acting on idealism can change the world for the better.
    very concise.. .my past ugh. . . I learn more from you guys than from my psychologists!!!

  8. #328

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    Quote Originally Posted by Seymour View Post
    I think the late teens and early twenties tend to be a high point of idealism for many... which has pluses and minuses. I do feel sorry for people in that age range today, where that idealism seems to be getting crushed right out of the gate by economic (and other) factors. Sometimes acting on idealism can change the world for the better.
    I think the crushed idealism is responsible for the millennial obsession with childhood nostalgia. They were raised in a boom, but came of age during a recession. They weren't ready for the shock, and now they're trying to retreat.

  9. #329
    waiting for Winterman Array Osprey's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Forever_Jung View Post
    I think the crushed idealism is responsible for the millennial obsession with childhood nostalgia. They were raised in a boom, but came of age during a recession. They weren't ready for the shock, and now they're trying to retreat.
    I agree with this entirely.
    Winterman is coming through the forest down to his Chrimbus cave inside the woods. Now's the time to tell him everything you want inside your Chrimbus bush!
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  10. #330
    across the universe Array Olm the Water King's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Vulcan View Post
    I agree with this entirely.
    That's probably the case for a lot of people. Not necessarily for everyone though. My own mental health started to deteriorate in 2000 already. But those are different kinds of issues, so yeah...

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