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Thread: Common INFP Issues

  1. #271
    thankful Array PeaceBaby's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spiritual Science View Post
    Wow, is it just me or am I really good at killing threads?
    Everyone gets to be the thread killer once in a while! Thanks for sharing your thoughts above; can definitely relate.
    "Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one."
    Eleanor Roosevelt


    "When people see some things as beautiful,
    other things become ugly.
    When people see some things as good,
    other things become bad."
    Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching

  2. #272
    Member Array GreatBigCranberries's Avatar
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    Before I read (most) of this thread, I was convinced I was an INTP. That's the result I always get from personality tests, that's what my family and friends think I am, but someone on this site suggested I might be an INFP. And I relate more wholeheartedly to the stuff shared on this thread than I ever have to the discussions amongst INTPs. It's really true, I'm an INFP, and I am disgusted by myself.

    I hate how sensitive I am to criticism. I hate how I take everything personally. I hate how easily I cry. I hate how I make decision based on emotions. I hate how I can't let things go. I hate how focused I am on myself. I hate all this self-pity. I want to step outside my body grab myself by the shoulders and yell "Grow a backbone! Get over it already!" (even though I would totally make myself cry). I want to see things clearly and all these emotions are in the way. I don't trust them, but I base everything on them. Consequently I can't trust a single decision I make, because I'm never objective.
    Last edited by GreatBigCranberries; 07-03-2013 at 06:07 PM.

  3. #273
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    Quote Originally Posted by Seymour View Post
    I'm probably not the best person to address this issue, but :

    • Fi values internal consonance and harmony. When that can't be reached, we tend to turn inwards to address the problem. Sometimes this can lead to the "Fi Si loop", where we go over the same problem repeatedly without getting any closer to a resolution. (I think this is particularly common for enneagram 4 INFPs, who tend to value the emotional intensity involved in the looping for its own sake.)
    • Fi processes things partially unconsciously (I think Jung described it as the function closest to the unconscious). I find that I do better if I let things "percolate" in the background, rather than trying to immediately attack a problem full-force consciously. Low level distraction sometimes helps the percolation process.
    • Like most introverts, we tend to withdraw when overwhelmed. When we are experiencing internal emotional conflict, there can be more going on internally than is easy to process.


    I do think, compared to INFJs, we are a bit more aware of our own emotions as they happen (though less aware of group dynamics), but that doesn't make us any better at processing those emotions with others. We, too, tend to want to retreat and process.

    I also think the Ni of INFJs makes them a bit more flexible on shifting their perspective when considering solutions. Fi + Ne tend to work with Fi "nailing down" feeling valuations, and then Ne showing farther possibilities from that stabilized platform. When one of our central values is threatened, it's not easy for us to entertain a conflicting perspective without experiencing distress.

    Note that outside of their important values, INFPs tend to be very flexible about understanding the perspective of others. It's just on things that are deemed "important" that the rigidity kicks in.

    So, I think checking in is probably about the most interaction we want in that state. Even if we are flailing around at that point, we usually are not receptive to advice (to make an understatement). Just being there and showing support can be very helpful.

    Anyway, I'm just one INFP, so hope others will chime in (even to disagree).

    [Update: What Biaxident and runvardh said about "just being there." ]
    This is perfect...I couldn't agree with this more!

  4. #274
    Strongly Ambivalent Array Ivy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by GreatBigCranberries View Post
    Before I read (most) of this thread, I was convinced I was an INTP. That's the result I always get from personality tests, that's what my family and friends think I am, but someone on this site suggested I might be an INFP. And I relate more wholeheartedly to the stuff shared on this thread than I ever have to the discussions amongst INTPs. It's really true, I'm an INFP, and I am disgusted by myself.

    I hate how sensitive I am to criticism. I hate how I take everything personally. I hate how easily I cry. I hate how I make decision based on emotions. I hate how I can't let things go. I hate how focused I am on myself. I hate all this self-pity. I want to step outside my body grab myself by the shoulders and yell "Grow a backbone! Get over it already!" (even though I would totally make myself cry). I want to see things clearly and all these emotions are in the way. I don't trust them, but I base everything on them. Consequently I can't trust a single decision I make, because I'm never objective.
    Let's cry together. It'll be okay, unless it isn't. {{{{INFP to INFP self-loathing hugs}}}}

  5. #275
    ggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Array Anaximander's Avatar
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    this pretty much sums up my experience with people

  6. #276
    mod love baby... Array Lady_X's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by GreatBigCranberries View Post
    Before I read (most) of this thread, I was convinced I was an INTP. That's the result I always get from personality tests, that's what my family and friends think I am, but someone on this site suggested I might be an INFP. And I relate more wholeheartedly to the stuff shared on this thread than I ever have to the discussions amongst INTPs. It's really true, I'm an INFP, and I am disgusted by myself.

    I hate how sensitive I am to criticism. I hate how I take everything personally. I hate how easily I cry. I hate how I make decision based on emotions. I hate how I can't let things go. I hate how focused I am on myself. I hate all this self-pity. I want to step outside my body grab myself by the shoulders and yell "Grow a backbone! Get over it already!" (even though I would totally make myself cry). I want to see things clearly and all these emotions are in the way. I don't trust them, but I base everything on them. Consequently I can't trust a single decision I make, because I'm never objective.
    Great example of why I adore infps. Not the mindset demonstrated here because that part makes me sad but its in the rawness. The strength in vulnerability. Not very many are willing to do that so easily.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  7. #277
    Senior Member Array pinkgraffiti's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lyedecker View Post


    this pretty much sums up my experience with people
    how do you do that last thing? by understanding that it's not your fault? (this should be my development path, but i'm not there yet)

    (also, good to see you've decided to stick around. but please remove that line on your avatar...you are wanted, deal with it )

  8. #278
    ggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Array Anaximander's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by pinkgraffiti View Post
    how do you do that last thing? by understanding that it's not your fault? (this should be my development path, but i'm not there yet)

    (also, good to see you've decided to stick around. but please remove that line on your avatar...you are wanted, deal with it )
    easier said than done. it isn't always possible. if it's a random stranger or a coworker i don't care about too much, than i find it much easier to get over it, but if it's someone i value (close friend, family), it can still be quite difficult and it usually stays with me for days.

    oops forgot the line under my avatar...

  9. #279
    yap yap yap Array xenaprincess's Avatar
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    I think you start taking things less personally with experience.

    The more often you encounter issues or problems, the less painful it becomes. And the more you share with people around you, the more you understand how common issues are. I used to take everything to heart. Now, much, much less so. My feelings have callouses.
    Last edited by xenaprincess; 12-07-2013 at 10:36 AM.

  10. #280
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    You want to become INTJ I see

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