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Thread: Common INFP Issues

  1. #211
    Member Array Rim's Avatar
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    I can't get stuff done!!!!!!!!!!

    It aggravates me to the sky and back! I'm disorganized, have irregular sleeping schedule....and forget stuff, something will catch my attention and I will forget what I was supposed to be doing...I don't follow through and get bored way too fast...

    T_T why can't I come up with enough perseverance!!!!??? The only hing I'm persistent in are stuff that I enjoy...and none of that is really productive and useful!



    I also neglect people...sometimes I don't talk with them for weeks. Sometimes I just fade away.....this part also sucks bigtime.
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  2. #212
    is an ambi-turner Array BRMC117's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rim View Post
    I can't get stuff done!!!!!!!!!!

    It aggravates me to the sky and back! I'm disorganized, have irregular sleeping schedule....and forget stuff, something will catch my attention and I will forget what I was supposed to be doing...I don't follow through and get bored way too fast...

    T_T why can't I come up with enough perseverance!!!!??? The only hing I'm persistent in are stuff that I enjoy...and none of that is really productive and useful!



    I also neglect people...sometimes I don't talk with them for weeks. Sometimes I just fade away.....this part also sucks bigtime.

    "I put the fires out."
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    "worse...or better?"

  3. #213
    hyggelig Array EJCC's Avatar
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    One issue I have noticed with the INFPs in my life (as well as an INFJ with P tendencies), is that they tend to either force responsibility on people, or unnecessarily ask a lot of people, without offering anything in return, and then backing out of it afterwards. In other words, seeming to be simultaneously flaky and demanding -- as well as, if you're a cranky SJ, implying disrespect, even if the INFP doesn't mean it.

    I'm not presuming this about all INFPs, since I have so few in my life and they are in the same demographic (female college students), and it may have to do with immaturity.

    An example: Last Monday, an ISTJ friend of mine texted a bunch of her friends (including an INFP) to say that she was going to take time out of her obscenely busy schedule to make the long walk to the nearest grocery store, and to see if anyone who needed to get groceries wanted to come with her. The INFP said she was busy then and asked (earnestly and pitiably) if the ISTJ would wait until Thursday to go. The ISTJ said yes, made new time in her schedule for Thursday, only for the INFP to back out the day of (very apologetically), saying she had "a lot of homework". The ISTJ (understandably, imo) was frustrated, because everyone at our very competitive school has "a lot of homework", so most people there (including her) would not consider that to be a good excuse. You make time for your obligations, you know? And she was also frustrated because this was part of a trend for the INFP.

    This is a very small example, and I post it while wondering if it is in fact a common INFP issue or just this one INFP. (I would have posted it in an "Ask an INFP" thread, but I couldn't find one.)
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  4. #214
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    Quote Originally Posted by EJCC View Post
    One issue I have noticed with the INFPs in my life (as well as an INFJ with P tendencies), is that they tend to either force responsibility on people, or unnecessarily ask a lot of people, without offering anything in return, and then backing out of it afterwards. In other words, seeming to be simultaneously flaky and demanding -- as well as, if you're a cranky SJ, implying disrespect, even if the INFP doesn't mean it.

    I'm not presuming this about all INFPs, since I have so few in my life and they are in the same demographic (female college students), and it may have to do with immaturity.

    An example: Last Monday, an ISTJ friend of mine texted a bunch of her friends (including an INFP) to say that she was going to take time out of her obscenely busy schedule to make the long walk to the nearest grocery store, and to see if anyone who needed to get groceries wanted to come with her. The INFP said she was busy then and asked (earnestly and pitiably) if the ISTJ would wait until Thursday to go. The ISTJ said yes, made new time in her schedule for Thursday, only for the INFP to back out the day of (very apologetically), saying she had "a lot of homework". The ISTJ (understandably, imo) was frustrated, because everyone at our very competitive school has "a lot of homework", so most people there (including her) would not consider that to be a good excuse. You make time for your obligations, you know? And she was also frustrated because this was part of a trend for the INFP.

    This is a very small example, and I post it while wondering if it is in fact a common INFP issue or just this one INFP. (I would have posted it in an "Ask an INFP" thread, but I couldn't find one.)
    I don't have this problem because I don't make commitments that I can't keep. If I'm uncertain whether or not I can make an engagement, I use indefinite words like "probably" or "maybe" and I make sure to let people know in advance if plans have fallen through.

    I also don't demand things from people and rarely ask for favors because I don't want to feel indebted to them. I certainly wouldn't ask someone to change their plans to accommodate me and then back out. I think the situation you described is not an INFP issue, but a personal issue that your friend has.

  5. #215
    Uniqueorn Array William K's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by EJCC View Post
    This is a very small example, and I post it while wondering if it is in fact a common INFP issue or just this one INFP. (I would have posted it in an "Ask an INFP" thread, but I couldn't find one.)
    http://www.typologycentral.com/forum...-infp-1-a.html

    To answer your question, no. Breaking real commitments are a no-no. However, I would say that if I'm 'forced' to attend some social function I don't feel like I would enjoy, I will flip-flop between whether I will turn up until the last minute
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  6. #216
    You have a choice! Array 21%'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by EJCC View Post
    One issue I have noticed with the INFPs in my life (as well as an INFJ with P tendencies), is that they tend to either force responsibility on people, or unnecessarily ask a lot of people, without offering anything in return, and then backing out of it afterwards. In other words, seeming to be simultaneously flaky and demanding -- as well as, if you're a cranky SJ, implying disrespect, even if the INFP doesn't mean it.

    I'm not presuming this about all INFPs, since I have so few in my life and they are in the same demographic (female college students), and it may have to do with immaturity.

    An example: Last Monday, an ISTJ friend of mine texted a bunch of her friends (including an INFP) to say that she was going to take time out of her obscenely busy schedule to make the long walk to the nearest grocery store, and to see if anyone who needed to get groceries wanted to come with her. The INFP said she was busy then and asked (earnestly and pitiably) if the ISTJ would wait until Thursday to go. The ISTJ said yes, made new time in her schedule for Thursday, only for the INFP to back out the day of (very apologetically), saying she had "a lot of homework". The ISTJ (understandably, imo) was frustrated, because everyone at our very competitive school has "a lot of homework", so most people there (including her) would not consider that to be a good excuse. You make time for your obligations, you know? And she was also frustrated because this was part of a trend for the INFP.

    This is a very small example, and I post it while wondering if it is in fact a common INFP issue or just this one INFP. (I would have posted it in an "Ask an INFP" thread, but I couldn't find one.)
    Not an INFP, but here goes...

    I've noticed something a bit like this too. I don't know how to put this to words properly, and it could be way off, but I think sometimes IXFPs don't fully realize the impact of their actions in the real world (especially 9s). They don't presume that someone would go through the trouble of changing their own schedule to accommodate theirs, so they don't think that 'flaking out' is that big of a deal. My ISFP friend does this all the time, and I think she feels that no one is going to notice her missing from the gathering anyway.

    In your specific situation, maybe your INFP friend didn't realize how hectic it was for the ISTJ to change her schedule. Perhaps the INFP didn't even 'commit' to Thursday. "I'm busy today. Can you wait till Thursday to go?" doesn't equal commitment, but the ISTJ would interpret it that way.

    Just a guess, though
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  7. #217
    Senior Member Array Eckhart's Avatar
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    Yeah, well, I never really ask people to change their plans for me, but if I would I would not break the plan without a good reason. If I however was stressed into agreeing into a plan and never felt comfortable with it in the first place, then I might get out of the plan.

  8. #218
    Rainy Day Woman Array MDP2525's Avatar
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    My brother is an INFP. It seems my brother is in constant arrested development. He is 26. It's all he can do to keep a job and he never has a full-time one. I've read some of his online blogs and they are filled with idealistic ways of living and treating one another but he doesn't walk his own walk.

    This is most apparent in the manipulative streak where the ends justify the means and he has outright swindled his friends out of cash. Taken belongings from our home (that do not belong to him) and sold them for his own benefit. This is what is so different to me about his (and one other INFP I know) thought process. I work with an INFP who stole a very nice camera out of the lost and found and was caught when the owner showed up to collect and it was in the INFP's car. Yet, politically he (and my brother) are always preaching a communistic world view. Everyone sharing and working together for a common good.

    I understand having an idealistic view of life, grand far-reaching goals, etc. I get that some people think like that. I just don't understand the dissimilar contrast in how he and the other INFP I know, lives their lives. Now, my brother and this other INFP may very well be unhealthy. I am certain that is the case as most ethical people would not do those things. This may just show the worst examples. But here is a question for all INFP's that, IMO, would help my brother out immensely.

    How do you healthy INFP's find motivation in things you do not like to do but have to do to function in real life?
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  9. #219

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    Quote Originally Posted by MDP2525 View Post
    My brother is an INFP. It seems my brother is in constant arrested development. He is 26. It's all he can do to keep a job and he never has a full-time one. I've read some of his online blogs and they are filled with idealistic ways of living and treating one another but he doesn't walk his own walk.

    This is most apparent in the manipulative streak where the ends justify the means and he has outright swindled his friends out of cash. Taken belongings from our home (that do not belong to him) and sold them for his own benefit. This is what is so different to me about his (and one other INFP I know) thought process. I work with an INFP who stole a very nice camera out of the lost and found and was caught when the owner showed up to collect and it was in the INFP's car. Yet, politically he (and my brother) are always preaching a communistic world view. Everyone sharing and working together for a common good.

    I understand having an idealistic view of life, grand far-reaching goals, etc. I get that some people think like that. I just don't understand the dissimilar contrast in how he and the other INFP I know, lives their lives. Now, my brother and this other INFP may very well be unhealthy. I am certain that is the case as most ethical people would not do those things. This may just show the worst examples. But here is a question for all INFP's that, IMO, would help my brother out immensely.
    I was going to comment on your brother, but I'll start with the specific question you ended off with.

    How do you healthy INFP's find motivation in things you do not like to do but have to do to function in real life?
    I think reading someone else's post, it might have been UDog's, about reconnecting small, mundane day to day stuff to the overall concept and true genuine desires deep down inside an INFP's heart and soul. I've only read that a week or so back, and that has been percolating inside of me. As for my experiential understanding, I'm 28, and had a mix of having to grow-up too quickly, but also still being immature in a lot of ways, and would say I am only learning gradually in the past year about how it actually works out. I want to say maturity and life experience, and just trudging through a lot of years will eventually force me to have to grow up, no matter how much I SAID I wanted to grow up in the past. I can identify with the INFP tendency to be idealistic about things, but when push comes to shove for my own Self, that can very easily be compartmentalized or ignored for the immediate benefit of my own comfort.

    I suppose that's how I'd segue into commenting on your brother. Obviously I don't know the picture, but I probably do start off with some sympathy for him. I had a lot of chances to go bad, to screw up, and I probably did in some way. If he truly does want to get better and have a responsible life, he may have to try therapy or something, somehow to address the inner emotional issues that can so easily affect his day to day actions. I know that's what I had to do to start getting a grip on things. He needs to feel that he's understood, and firstly, that it's okay to feel messed up, and to kind of grieve on that a bit. Then after, he needs to start to work towards "okay, the ways I acted in the past were to cope in an imperfect way, but it was necessary at the time. now it's time to find a better, more healthy way."

    Sorry if I started to preach on something you didn't ask for input on, but I'm willing to give more insight if that helps.

    thanks again MPD~~

  10. #220
    Senior Member Array FunnyDigestion's Avatar
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    Honestly, when it comes to all that day-to-day shit, that draining mundane stuff, I just force myself... I've trained myself over the years to have an efficiency mindset about it (& most of the rest of regular life), so when I realize there's some shit I have to do, I just suck it up & try to do it the fastest way I can, like I'm running out into a horrendous battle... It helps to be feeling well physically, so exercise is beneficial to doing that shit.

    Sorry to curse but that's what it is, it's shit... all that f*cking day-to-day shit..
    RCUAI
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    "Man is free, but his freedom ceases when he has no faith in it."

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