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Thread: Common INFP Issues

  1. #201
    Senior Member Array pinkgraffiti's Avatar
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    wow this was so sweet, beginning to end.
    INFPs you can come to me, I understand you! You're seriously the most special MBTI type, is there an INFP fan club I can sign up for? And can I take one of you home?

    Quote Originally Posted by BRMC117 View Post
    I have a hard time being around people, even ones I know and love. In turn I flake out on people, coming up with bullshit excuses as to why I couldn't make it.
    "why didn't you show up at the bar?"
    "I have sweaty boot rash"
    you know dumb shit like that.
    Relationships seemed like a unachievable goal set forth from god. I am still amazed that I had one for 2 years (although we never did have off together so that probably why).
    In a nutshell, people complicate things for me.

  2. #202

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    Quote Originally Posted by pinkgraffiti View Post
    wow this was so sweet, beginning to end.
    INFPs you can come to me, I understand you! You're seriously the most special MBTI type, is there an INFP fan club I can sign up for? And can I take one of you home?
    INFPs are my favourites, ya'll are awesome. I second the idea of a fan club
    INFJ; 9w1 so/sp/sx; EII; RCOAI; Neutral Good

  3. #203
    is an ambi-turner Array BRMC117's Avatar
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    YOU CAN NEVER FEEL THE PAIN I FEEL! YOU COULD NEVER UNDERSTAND ME! *runs away sobbing to go sit alone*
    "I put the fires out."
    "you made them worse."
    "worse...or better?"

  4. #204
    morose bourgeoisie Array
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    Whenever I read one of these threads, I feel like I'm (we're) mentally ill.

  5. #205
    Senior Member Array Turtledove's Avatar
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    @nebbykoo Do you need a Prozac?
    Save Thundercats 2011 petition. Because we do what we can. HO!!!:
    http://www.change.org/petitions/warn...another-season

  6. #206
    morose bourgeoisie Array
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    Quote Originally Posted by Turtledove View Post
    @nebbykoo Do you need a Prozac?
    LOL, no thanx. It's just that most things that are said about infps, even by themselves, are pretty critical and often full of disdain. Too much Fi, too little Ti, too much emotion, why can't you all just [INSERT SCATHING CRITICISM HERE], rainbows and unicorns, male infps are pussies (to paraphrase), etc, etc.
    We are the whipping boys of typology, that's for sure. It just gets old to be considered less-than by so many. I already do that to myself constantly so it's not exactly a revelation to know that others think I'm pathetic.
    Last edited by Stanton Moore; 10-26-2011 at 10:28 AM.

  7. #207
    Senior Member Array Turtledove's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by nebbykoo View Post
    LOL, no thanx. It's just that most things that are said about infps, even by themselves, are pretty critical and often full of disdain. Too much Fi, too little Ti, too much emotion, why can't you all just [INSERT SCATHING CRITICISM HERE], rainbows and unicorns, male infps are pussies (to paraphrase), etc, etc.
    We are the whipping boys of typology, that's for sure. It just gets old to be considered less-than by so many. I already do that to myself constantly so it's not exactly a revelation to know that others think you are pathetic.
    I think we INFPs are too hard on ourselves. GUILTY! Methinks it's the fact we are constantly bombarded with criticism from ourselves and from others (who may or may not meant to do that,) especially as kids. But that's extremely unhealthy when we just shut everyone off or don't try to speak up for ourselves :insert hypocrite here: But be happy that some of the other MBTI NT/NF types seem to take an interest in us. ^///^
    Save Thundercats 2011 petition. Because we do what we can. HO!!!:
    http://www.change.org/petitions/warn...another-season

  8. #208
    Senior Member Array Adasta's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by 21% View Post
    About indecision: what is the best way for INFPs to make huge life decisions? (Any regret-proof way?)

    It's something I'm trying to understand, as I never, ever experience regret. I think things through and I accept whatever comes with the decision. I might have made mistakes and bad choices in the past, but they are what make me who I am now, so I never, ever regret any of them. Guilt, yes, a lot, but never regret.
    You would do well to look at INFPs as moths that circle a flame that
    are then burnt by it. We are forever questing for that which is
    perfect within our own sphere of reference. Yet, like a hazy dream,
    the details of which are forgotten in the act of remembering, the
    realisation of an idealistic "dream" can actually let us down; it is
    never quite the same.

    I think you could see how regrets could form from this process. There
    is also a great desire for us (perhaps 4w5s?) to make others know what
    we know. It might be more accurate to say that we want to make others
    feel what we feel.The "bad choices" that we make are upsetting
    because they are less than perfect; moreover, they represent occasions
    in which we feel we may not have expressed ourselves adequately.
    Sometimes words seem so inadequate that I end up saying nothing, yet
    feeling everything. Looking back on such moments, one sort of wishes
    that all that was felt was spoken so that all that was spoken was
    known. In the end, we sit there feeling everything and saying nothing
    because the words do not support the weight of emotion.

    Imagine painting a portrait and then hiding it. You don't want to show
    it because it might be ridiculed. It could be brilliant - but
    what if it's not? What if it's less than amazing, and people notice
    that? What would it be to have the feeling of disappointment? But what
    is it to live in not knowing? Within this liminality lies the untaken
    opportunity (thwarted Ne), and therein lies the regret.

    Quote Originally Posted by 21% View Post
    For INFPs, I think it has to do with Ne and seeing endless
    possibilities and outcomes for each decision you make. It hurts me to
    see you struggling with regret and beating yourself up over something
    done or not done in the past. Is there any way I can help? Talking
    through the options just doesn't seem to work that well.
    You're spot on with your analysis.

    As an INFJ, your method of helping would be best expressed in
    reminding us of how to do things that would make us feel better. INFJs
    are good at making others feel good, so perhaps remind us that things
    we do (or have done) also make people feel good. It is important for
    INFPs to hear that we are not bad people.

    Remember that INFPs have Aux Ne which we blot out when in a Fi-Si
    loop. This means that we need constant reminders that opportunities
    in the future may be positive
    . INFP 4s have difficulty in
    seperating themselves from thier prevailing emotions. If the emotion
    is one of sadness, realise that Ne is not operating at present and
    therefore is not allowing us to see an emotional outcome other than
    that which we are presently feeling. We might say "I hate the way I
    feel right now" yet provide no other alternatives that may end this
    feeling; we are not simply not capable since Ne is not functioning
    properly. This is often the cause of rifts with SJs who don't
    undestand why we don't just get on with it, or with NTs who think
    "Your emotions are clearly a negative influence. Simply cauterise your
    wounds and engage your brain."

    Quote Originally Posted by 21% View Post
    Also, if you're clearly avoiding making a decision (and instead
    indulging in fantasy, sweets, video games, etc) and time is pressing,
    should I give you a little nudge?
    Yes, but be gentle!

    Frank and honest conversation would be good here. Something like "I
    know you're upset and you need time to yourself, but you can't go on
    like this forever. I'm going to come back in a few days and take you
    out to [place INFP likes]/we're going to go to the library and hang
    out." Make sure your tone of voice is one of consolation. Any
    suggestion that my feelings are in any way bad/wrong/uncalled
    for/foolish will be met with hostility. If I am upset it is for a good
    reason.

    I am an INFP 4w5, therefore my desire is to be unique and authentic.
    Saying things like "this happens to everyone" isn't useful to me
    because I would think "Yes, but everyone is not me." Better in
    these circumstances to focus on the specifics of the problem and show
    you understand how/why the INFP is upset. This is very soothing. As an
    INFJ, you will probably relate to the notion of "the harshness of the
    world", so show you understand this aspect of life. It's very
    useful for you to remind us of positive things in the past that you
    believe we may have missed
    . INFJs seem to take detailed notes in
    their minds about how situations and events play out. It's good for us
    to hear things like "Don't you know she really liked you?" or "Don't
    you realise your prescence had this effect?" Bizarrely, even though we
    want to experience idealised moments, most of the time we are walking
    around daydreaming about such things; we are terrible and being in the
    here and now. INFJs are watching from the shadows (I can see you!)
    silently logging how everyone interacts with one another.
    That girls are raped, that two boys knife a third,
    Were axioms to him, who'd never heard
    Of any world where promises were kept,
    Or one could weep because another wept.

  9. #209
    Uniqueorn Array William K's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by pinkgraffiti View Post
    wow this was so sweet, beginning to end.
    INFPs you can come to me, I understand you! You're seriously the most special MBTI type, is there an INFP fan club I can sign up for? And can I take one of you home?
    To become a member of the INFP fan club, you have to gush in one of these 2 threads
    http://www.typologycentral.com/forum...on-thread.html
    http://www.typologycentral.com/forum...on-thread.html
    4w5, Fi>Ne>Ti>Si>Ni>Fe>Te>Se, sp > so > sx

    appreciates being appreciated, conflicted over conflicts, afraid of being afraid, bad at being bad, predictably unpredictable, consistently inconsistent, remarkably unremarkable...

    I may not agree with what you are feeling, but I will defend to death your right to have a good cry over it

    The whole problem with the world is that fools & fanatics are always so certain of themselves, and wiser people so full of doubts. ~ Bertrand Russell

  10. #210
    Paragon Gone Wrong Array OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Adasta View Post
    You would do well to look at INFPs as moths that circle a flame that
    are then burnt by it. We are forever questing for that which is
    perfect within our own sphere of reference. Yet, like a hazy dream,
    the details of which are forgotten in the act of remembering, the
    realisation of an idealistic "dream" can actually let us down; it is
    never quite the same.
    I'm just quoting this because it's so true....
    "Charlotte sometimes dreams a wall around herself. But it's always with love - So much love it looks like everything else. Charlotte Sometimes - So far away, glass sealed and pretty." - The Cure

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx - 451| RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive

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