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[INFP] Common INFP Issues

dog

New member
Joined
Aug 21, 2015
Messages
144
MBTI Type
infp
I am struggling with the possibility that I might have an "entitlement mentality." I am still recovering from past hurts and unmet needs, and I tend to wonder why people don't enjoy me or care about my dreams goals and happiness. I am considered a Neurotic according to the IPIP Big 5 and an Intrigue based on the How to Fascinate test by Sally Hogshead. I consider myself an emotional intellectual. I am also a visual mathematician and I love colorful graphic representations of things. I am fearful about people not caring about my dreams. I am fearful that the dreams I dream are out of reach. So I determined that I would start a not profit organization to help all people not have to give up their dreams. But I have no idea how to do that. I feel powerless to do anything to make my life better, which I hate, but also fear being penalized for not being able to change my life. How do you bridge the gap between those who are tormented by out of reach dreams and those who look with disdain and contempt towards those appear to want things they don't deserve to have. I have Arrested Emotional Development. Is there hope for those who long for their emptiness to be filled due to past disappointments and betrayal and unmet needs when other people frown upon our longing for our lives being improved, refusing to give people like us the support or hands up to get us on our way, because it appears that we are unable and unwilling to improve our own lives ourselves (taking responsibility for our own lives), thinking we are being manipulative and demanding since it appears we are wanting something we cannot have, even if we have truly done everything we possibly can to make our lives better, especially when our aspirations are high. They think that we are demanding others to give us a privileged living, thereby leaving us all alone in our struggles putting us at greater risk of failure. I propose social change, which includes that we combat such uncaring attitudes towards the Outcasts and if I can get free of not being able to advance any further in my life for over 9+ years, I promise to give help to others that others are not willing to give to so called "losers". I don't want someone giving me a living. I want people who will be my cheerleaders, rallying beside me as my allies while I go through the blood, sweat, and tears of struggling to make my own dreams come true by the power of God's grace! It is interesting that both me and my husband tested as Intrigues. The Intrigue is one of 49 arch-types. I didn't think my husband's would be exactly like mine, but it is. Are there any more Intrigues in the house?

welcome to the infp world...keep dreaming "looser". after years of dreaming. seems like that's STILL all i got. . but dreamers is what we were created to be. so i'm good :)
 

dog

New member
Joined
Aug 21, 2015
Messages
144
MBTI Type
infp
the idealism/absolutism showed up heavily in my 20's ...such a paradox: "idealistic" infp yes. but why the heck was i soooo critical and judgmental??? this seems so NOT infp. .
 

PeaceBaby

reborn
Joined
Jan 7, 2009
Messages
5,950
MBTI Type
N/A
Enneagram
N/A
the idealism/absolutism showed up heavily in my 20's ...such a paradox: "idealistic" infp yes. but why the heck was i soooo critical and judgmental??? this seems so NOT infp. .

How about because things seldom live up to your ideals of them?
 

Seymour

Vaguely Precise
Joined
Sep 22, 2009
Messages
1,579
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
5w4
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
How about because things seldom live up to your ideals of them?

I think that's true. That's the dark underbelly of idealism.

If one thinks people are naturally good (idealistic about human nature), for example, then one tends to feel that something is making people be bad (whether's it's "society," ill-intentioned individuals, or whatever).

So idealism can lead to a lot of anger and resentment towards people for being normal, fallible people. It can also lead one toward feeling resentful about oneself, for failing to live up to impossible-to-attain ideals.

So there's a fine line, I think, between hoping for and working toward something better, and judging the world and oneself for not perfectly embodying one's ideals.

I think the late teens and early twenties tend to be a high point of idealism for many... which has pluses and minuses. I do feel sorry for people in that age range today, where that idealism seems to be getting crushed right out of the gate by economic (and other) factors. Sometimes acting on idealism can change the world for the better.
 

dog

New member
Joined
Aug 21, 2015
Messages
144
MBTI Type
infp
How about because things seldom live up to your ideals of them?

makes sense....i mean, maybe if i had a little realistic S in me, i could have caught that THEN.. so now, i can dream of the whole world being just simply awesome. . but otoh, i have to realize that its still a choice we ALL have to make. and all them choices never WILL nor CAN meet up to the infp ideal.
 

Opal

New member
Joined
Jan 16, 2014
Messages
1,391
MBTI Type
ENTP
the idealism/absolutism showed up heavily in my 20's ...such a paradox: "idealistic" infp yes. but why the heck was i soooo critical and judgmental??? this seems so NOT infp. .

:huh:
 

dog

New member
Joined
Aug 21, 2015
Messages
144
MBTI Type
infp
I think that's true. That's the dark underbelly of idealism.

If one thinks people are naturally good (idealistic about human nature), for example, then one tends to feel that something is making people be bad (whether's it's "society," ill-intentioned individuals, or whatever).

So idealism can lead to a lot of anger and resentment towards people for being normal, fallible people. It can also lead one toward feeling resentful about oneself, for failing to live up to impossible-to-attain ideals.

So there's a fine line, I think, between hoping for and working toward something better, and judging the world and oneself for not perfectly embodying one's ideals.

I think the late teens and early twenties tend to be a high point of idealism for many... which has pluses and minuses. I do feel sorry for people in that age range today, where that idealism seems to be getting crushed right out of the gate by economic (and other) factors. Sometimes acting on idealism can change the world for the better.

very concise.. .my past ugh. . . I learn more from you guys than from my psychologists!!!
 

Forever_Jung

Active member
Joined
May 23, 2009
Messages
2,644
MBTI Type
ESFJ
I think the late teens and early twenties tend to be a high point of idealism for many... which has pluses and minuses. I do feel sorry for people in that age range today, where that idealism seems to be getting crushed right out of the gate by economic (and other) factors. Sometimes acting on idealism can change the world for the better.

I think the crushed idealism is responsible for the millennial obsession with childhood nostalgia. They were raised in a boom, but came of age during a recession. They weren't ready for the shock, and now they're trying to retreat. ;)
 

Julius_Van_Der_Beak

Up the Wolves
Joined
Jul 24, 2008
Messages
19,449
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
5w6
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
I think the crushed idealism is responsible for the millennial obsession with childhood nostalgia. They were raised in a boom, but came of age during a recession. They weren't ready for the shock, and now they're trying to retreat. ;)

I agree with this entirely.
 

Olm the Water King

across the universe
Joined
Aug 12, 2014
Messages
1,455
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
459
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
I agree with this entirely.

That's probably the case for a lot of people. Not necessarily for everyone though. My own mental health started to deteriorate in 2000 already. But those are different kinds of issues, so yeah...
 

Julius_Van_Der_Beak

Up the Wolves
Joined
Jul 24, 2008
Messages
19,449
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INTP
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5w6
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sp/so
That's probably the case for a lot of people. Not necessarily for everyone though. My own mental health started to deteriorate in 2000 already. But those are different kinds of issues, so yeah...

It's hard for me to really know, because I'm aware of my position as a sheltered American.
 

Luigi

New member
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Sep 10, 2015
Messages
1,310
MBTI Type
ISFJ
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6w7
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
Please disregard if this doesn't apply to you. No such thing as universal truth in my humble opinion.

- Initially trusting people but then growing to find out they're not as great as my imagination made them out to be.
- Using my imagination to create my own sense of identity because I fear that I have no unique identity at all.
- Making bad life choices because I was trying to be somebody I'm not.
- Wasting too much time. Procrastination on a *massive scale*
- Not being able to stay employed for long. So far anyway. I hope this changes and I can keep a solid occupation. I need one.
- Taking things personally without even realizing I was taking it personally. I just thought the person meant to offend me. Feel free to tell me otherwise.
- Falling into a fantasy type of love with almost anybody that both brings out the best in me, and makes me feel better just to be around them.
- Seeing the best in almost everybody else thus making me feel very insecure about myself. This also leads to me having an unrealistic view of famous people that did bad things. (For example, I like Joseph Stalin, even though I am well aware of all the evil things he did to so many people. Not trying to defend him but he had an abusive father, which probably led to him joining Lenin. Please don't try to convince me that I shouldn't like him. I'm just willing to overlook his vices. I think everybody does that to some extent with famous people they want to admire.)
 

Arctic Hysteria

an abyss of Nothingness
Joined
Jun 20, 2014
Messages
655
MBTI Type
IxFP
Enneagram
4w5
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
Prone to depression

Not ambitious and career focused enough

Contradiction between feelings and actions

Indecisive

Self-doubt
 

Luigi

New member
Joined
Sep 10, 2015
Messages
1,310
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ISFJ
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6w7
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sp/so
Prone to depression

Not ambitious and career focused enough

Contradiction between feelings and actions

Indecisive

Self-doubt

I know what all of that is like, too.
 

Forever_Jung

Active member
Joined
May 23, 2009
Messages
2,644
MBTI Type
ESFJ
Do you guys use humour to hide/protect your inner sanctum from invaders? Act sarcastic or silly to keep people at a certain distance? Do you ever feel like you have an external persona that acts as a shield, and helps you meet surface demands? Do most people realize how sensitive you truly are?
 

Ghost

Megustalations
Joined
Jul 10, 2013
Messages
1,042
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
5w4
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
Do you guys use humour to hide/protect your inner sanctum from invaders?

Yes.

Act sarcastic or silly to keep people at a certain distance?

Yes. I also like to indulge in whatever amuses me. Maybe I just want to laugh at all the nonsense around me. At times, the boundary between genuine humor and a social shield can be difficult to determine, and they can blur together, becoming the same thing.

Do you ever feel like you have an external persona that acts as a shield, and helps you meet surface demands?

I'm just in the habit of setting boundaries, if not explicitly then implicitly. Humor and amiability are the best ways I know to keep people at a distance when I can't be invisible. I'm not sure I'd call it a persona, although it is that, but to me it feels like a mode. It's when I turn off (emotionally, critically) and coast through an interaction. I don't have to get invested. I don't have to worry about the other person investing too much in me. It keeps things simple. It makes things tolerable.

Do most people realize how sensitive you truly are?

I didn't think so. I didn't want them to. But people have called me sensitive many times. So yeah, they do.

I also have a habit of oversharing at times. It's very all-or-nothing with me. Either I'm telling the truth as I see it, or I'm obfuscating and hiding my true perspective. Moderation/balance isn't a strength of mine.
 

buzzybee1990

New member
Joined
Oct 24, 2015
Messages
3
I took a test on 16 personalities and came up infp diplomat? From what I read it's pretty spot on but I would like to see if there's other tests that are more detailed in their evaluation of me and my personality. Maybe if I can figure out my personality type specifically I can start changing my life and myself for the better if I understand myself better... I'm new here so sorry for just jumping in. Not really sure how to post so this was the most relevant thread I could find. Sorry again.
 

Blackout

Permabanned
Joined
Aug 16, 2015
Messages
1,356
MBTI Type
infp
Enneagram
4w3
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
Why is it that some human beings don't like numbers and routine as much, and why was I born with a large imagination that does not translate to immediate external or measurable results in the external world..? you know...

I hope maybe I'm from the future.
 

Blackout

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infp
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sx/so
Does anyone ever think that somehow, their sense of desire and passion is in someway effected by their immediate life circumstances? I at times think that, you know, I'm kind of useless in a practical sense. I know everyone says that there can't be too many intuitives because nothing would ever get done, but isn't it fair to say that maybe if you were in a situation that without question, or the possibility of a change in circumstances, actually adapt and become more practical and efficient at more grounded tasks that are not really your main focus?

I really did horrible in all the constructions jobs I had, tho.

Actually that's kind of a silly question, lol. I am sure there are many INFP's who have found themselves in those situations and stuff, and I guess I wonder how it turned out for them. Like, if you had to support your family, or something, and you were the only one capable of doing it? (without he benefit of having a choice in how you went about supporting them, etc)
But then you know, I think I am fucked. I am a product of the modern age, I don't think I could really handle life in too natural of an environment, completely in the wilderness or living too much off the land.

I am like a radiated computer child, I have been warped by modern technology into some kind of an alien being. I wonder if that`s just the words of someone very pampered.
 

Blackout

Permabanned
Joined
Aug 16, 2015
Messages
1,356
MBTI Type
infp
Enneagram
4w3
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sx/so
Does being an INFP male mean that I pretty much have to settle for a brash, assertive, angry woman? Like being an INFP somehow subject myself to being someone's pretty petty? except I am like a male, so there is no pretty.

Either that, or I am just like this gnarled carny freak with a poetic heart of gold no one can see under my tattered street warned clothes? am I?
Seriously, I'm like a fucking carny.

I'm poor as shit, and a complete outcast to 'well to do-regular' society. I mean, not even a little. COMPLETELY. I might as well just hang out with bums and petty criminals my whole life, and vagrants, low-lives.

*sigh* oh hey, I can play the guitar really well. BETTER GET USED TO IT.
Being a bum.

I think after this realization, and acceptance (of mothers gasping in horror, and shielding their children's eyes at the sight of me, and people generally avoiding me) I think I need to work more on my street tough facade or something. But seriously, I am just not street enough. I am like fucking foppish, and this weird, slightly 'intellectual' guy; who the fuck takes that seriously? I guess I am just a square peg in a round hole. God damnit.

INFP, YOU@@@!!!!111
 
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