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Thread: Common INFP Issues

  1. #151
    Junior Member Array damascus's Avatar
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    how are INFP's to approach the hypersensitivity to the environment around them? I have grown quite paranoiac and schizoid over the past year or so (though I think this has been more prevalent without me understanding such labels).

    (sorry, didn't read through the rest of the posts, just a few near the beginning) Also, anybody have any thoughts on SSRI's? Since these issues have been more apparent I have grown more and more solitary and obsessed over gaining approval by doing whatever possible for everyone. Mentioned elsewhere, I find it to be taking the "spiral" effect. Any thoughts?

  2. #152
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    Quote Originally Posted by damascus View Post
    how are INFP's to approach the hypersensitivity to the environment around them? I have grown quite paranoiac and schizoid over the past year or so (though I think this has been more prevalent without me understanding such labels).

    (sorry, didn't read through the rest of the posts, just a few near the beginning) Also, anybody have any thoughts on SSRI's? Since these issues have been more apparent I have grown more and more solitary and obsessed over gaining approval by doing whatever possible for everyone. Mentioned elsewhere, I find it to be taking the "spiral" effect. Any thoughts?
    Two years ago I was in your position, damascus. That's when I began my
    solitary journey, and it has yet to end.

    I've explained what I've went through for the past two years here:
    http://www.typologycentral.com/forum...ml#post1286568

  3. #153
    You have a choice! Array 21%'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Udog View Post
    For me, the way out of disillusionment is through Ne and finding a new way to look at the world. If the new view makes sense and offers value, I'll integrate it, which leads to a gradual eroding of the disillusionment.

    I don't see the world in the same stark shades of black and white that I used to. I still dichotomize things almost by reflex, but such categorizations are more nuanced and open to argumentation.

    As far as advice: In order to grow out of the things that ail you, you need to change. Change requires that you commit the sin of "not being yourself" initially. Eventually, the new behavior will become a part of who you are.

    Coming to terms with that contradiction is essential. If you must always act in congruence to "who you are now", you will forever be like you are now. You can learn new things, but you'll never grow or change. Either embrace that, or learn to face the paradox of growth.
    Wow, this is very interesting! So you try to become more like your "ideal self"? Does your ideal self stay pretty constant or does it change depending on your mood or life situations? Could you give some examples of what you consider 'ideal' qualities? (Or do such things exist at all? )

    I'm asking because for me, I sort of have this self-definition that I use to understand myself and then I try to add desirable qualities on top of that. I try to be more secure (meaning that I'm always questioning all my actions and thoughts and see if they stem from insecurity), more understanding, more sensitive, and to have more energy to do things. I also try not to let negative moods keep me from functioning properly in life. Is this similar to what you're describing as "change"? I think there must be a difference between INFJs and INFPs. Ni tries to see the 'true' self and is always trying to see the self from different angles, different contexts, to try to understand what is "me" and what is product of external factors. I can imagine that with Ne, INFPs might have a whole range of "possible ideal me"s to work with. How do you choose then? How does it work in real life?

    Thanks in advance!
    4w5 sp/sx EII

  4. #154
    Junior Member Array damascus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by angell_m View Post
    Two years ago I was in your position, damascus. That's when I began my
    solitary journey, and it has yet to end.

    I've explained what I've went through for the past two years here:
    http://www.typologycentral.com/forum...ml#post1286568
    Thanks for your reply. I think I am generally moving in that direction. I am so entrenched in approval addiction that I find that it is the only way to boost me through the day. I am definitely in that stage of avoidance and obsessing over my thoughts. I am not sure about SSRI's myself, as I have been on Celexa (citalopram) for around a month and a half. I really wonder if these are just placebos to make us hopeful.

    The crazy thing is that I will be relocating to Canada to do a project. I have no concept of how to live on my own let alone working in an environment with 8 other people in one office. It is highly daunting and I am not sure exactly how to blind myself from constantly trying to get into other people's minds so that I can sidestep confrontation or conflict. It is highly selfish and insane, but that is how I have coped with life. As long as I can find a way for someone to approve of me, than I get a certain "high" to get through the situation. Thanks for sharing the diary.

  5. #155
    Seriously Delirious Array Udog's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by 21% View Post
    Wow, this is very interesting! So you try to become more like your "ideal self"? Does your ideal self stay pretty constant or does it change depending on your mood or life situations? Could you give some examples of what you consider 'ideal' qualities? (Or do such things exist at all? )

    I'm asking because for me, I sort of have this self-definition that I use to understand myself and then I try to add desirable qualities on top of that. I try to be more secure (meaning that I'm always questioning all my actions and thoughts and see if they stem from insecurity), more understanding, more sensitive, and to have more energy to do things. I also try not to let negative moods keep me from functioning properly in life. Is this similar to what you're describing as "change"? I think there must be a difference between INFJs and INFPs. Ni tries to see the 'true' self and is always trying to see the self from different angles, different contexts, to try to understand what is "me" and what is product of external factors. I can imagine that with Ne, INFPs might have a whole range of "possible ideal me"s to work with. How do you choose then? How does it work in real life?

    Thanks in advance!
    Would you agree with this?
    Fi - Discover the "best" self, with "best" being defined on the individual level.
    Ni - Discover the "true" self, based on the individual self being located in a universal context.
    -------

    My ideal self is based on my models of the world. Think of a "model" as a lego brick, and my ideal self something that would be constructed using these bricks. So outside of something revelatory, my ideal self changes gradually - generally one brick at a time. So in order to change my ideal self, I have to change the individual building blocks. It's a "bottom-up" process, where I must dismantle in order to rebuild something new. Ne plays with various pieces in various ways, but Fi (usually) knows the desired end result. In comparison, I tend to see INFJs as more fluid.

    A specific example: I value health, but I haven't lived my life consistent to it. The gruntwork of living healthy (grocery shopping, cooking, washing dishes) would eventually deter me. In order to fix that, I had to learn to take on new values that allowed me to appreciate how something as mundane as washing dishes can actually help lead me toward not only better health, but in also making me a better person.

  6. #156
    Senior Member Array rowingineden's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by damascus View Post
    how are INFP's to approach the hypersensitivity to the environment around them? I have grown quite paranoiac and schizoid over the past year or so (though I think this has been more prevalent without me understanding such labels).

    (sorry, didn't read through the rest of the posts, just a few near the beginning) Also, anybody have any thoughts on SSRI's? Since these issues have been more apparent I have grown more and more solitary and obsessed over gaining approval by doing whatever possible for everyone. Mentioned elsewhere, I find it to be taking the "spiral" effect. Any thoughts?
    Well, I worked a lot via psychotherapy and cognitive-behaviorial therapy first, but I recently introduced an SSRI alongside my Strattera for ADHD/depression, and it is working very nicely - I have no social anxiety whatsoever. In fact, I go and sit next to strangers and jabber on, like an extrovert or something. I also find I have a lot more energy and enthusiasm. I'm taking generic Celexa - Citalopram, BTW. I am totally fine with crowds, loud sounds, etc. now - it just doesn't bother me like it used to, I just continue about my life.
    "You get what you're given, it's all how you use it."
    Pink - "God is a DJ"

  7. #157
    Senior Member Array flameskull95's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Seymour View Post
    As requested, a thread. We'll see if it does better than the "someone start a thread" thread.

    Some common INFP issues include:

    1. Hypersensitivity - We often interpret negative feedback as a personal attack. In fact, we sometimes project negativity onto factual, neutral statements. This problem extends to critiques of our values, since as Fi-doms we see our values as fundamental parts of ourselves. Our hypersensitivity can cause us to avoid seeking feedback or evaluation out of fear of it being negative.
    2. Tendency to procrastinate - Like other perceiving types, we have a tendency to procrastinate. In our case, an avoidance of conflict tends to be a contributing factor. Our Fi-based idealism combined with our Ne-inspired ability to see possibilities sometimes makes moving from the possible to the actual demotivating: the reality is always less than we'd like it to be. This can even extend to career paralysis, in which we fear moving forward because no option is perfectly inline with our inner selves and values. Also, attempting something Important™ and failing can trigger our hypersensitivity (see above). We can also tend to wait for internal transformation to provide motivation, even when external action is all that's needed to start the ball rolling.
    3. Social Disregard and/or Cluelessness - Our lack of Fe and reliance on Fi tends to make us seemingly unaware of societal expectations. Even when we are aware of them, we may see such expectations as an attack on our individual expression and autonomy. Our Fi focus may also cause us to appear quirky or dress inappropriately for a given situation. Also, we may experience unnecessary conflict with Fe-users because we are unaware of the message we are sending by opting out of important rituals and traditions. We tend to be bad at initiating contact with others, which may send a message that we are selfishly disinterested in other people.
    4. Idealism/Absolutism - While at its best our Fi can lead us towards having worthwhile values and not compromising them, at our worst we tend towards an intolerant, blinkered impracticality. We can tend to dismiss information that doesn't fit with our preconceived ideals and becomes angry when people point out how distorted our internal model of the world may be. This can extend to relationships, causing us to over-idealize those we love, leading to communication problems and/or disappointment.


    And, to include stringstheory's procrastination example:


    I'm sure people have other perspectives to add.
    This made me feel so bad, I'm going to make an insecure song about it....tommorow. ( :workout: gotta workout on my bod for the music video when it hits charts.... and it's gonna hit charts, dosen't matter what you people say... assholes.)
    I'm a INFP - The sociopath

    I think I'm either a 4w5, 4w3, 6w5 or 9w1. Most possibly 4w5.

    Feeling FiNe

  8. #158
    Junior Member Array izzie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Seymour View Post
    As requested, a thread. We'll see if it does better than the "someone start a thread" thread.

    Some common INFP issues include:

    [*]Hypersensitivity - We often interpret negative feedback as a personal attack. In fact, we sometimes project negativity onto factual, neutral statements. This problem extends to critiques of our values, since as Fi-doms we see our values as fundamental parts of ourselves. Our hypersensitivity can cause us to avoid seeking feedback or evaluation out of fear of it being negative.
    That had been a source of trouble for many parts of my life. I think some of the criticism I had perceived could even be imaginary! I'm working towards a more solid identity so that I can have a more balanced and rational approach to potentially constructive feedback. I think the INFP who is less afraid to be his or her own person is most likely to deal best with criticism.

    [*]Tendency to procrastinate - Like other perceiving types, we have a tendency to procrastinate. In our case, an avoidance of conflict tends to be a contributing factor. Our Fi-based idealism combined with our Ne-inspired ability to see possibilities sometimes makes moving from the possible to the actual demotivating: the reality is always less than we'd like it to be. This can even extend to career paralysis, in which we fear moving forward because no option is perfectly inline with our inner selves and values. Also, attempting something Important™ and failing can trigger our hypersensitivity (see above). We can also tend to wait for internal transformation to provide motivation, even when external action is all that's needed to start the ball rolling.
    I do tend to have that ''everything can fall into pieces when the right time comes'' attitude from time to time. I do wonder if it's a good thing or a bad thing, what matters is that I'm internally working towards changes in my life too.

    [*]Social Disregard and/or Cluelessness - Our lack of Fe and reliance on Fi tends to make us seemingly unaware of societal expectations. Even when we are aware of them, we may see such expectations as an attack on our individual expression and autonomy. Our Fi focus may also cause us to appear quirky or dress inappropriately for a given situation. Also, we may experience unnecessary conflict with Fe-users because we are unaware of the message we are sending by opting out of important rituals and traditions. We tend to be bad at initiating contact with others, which may send a message that we are selfishly disinterested in other people.
    I value depth, which is a good thing. But a little too much. I have to open my mind to consider the importance of certain seemingly superficial factors too.

    [*]Idealism/Absolutism - While at its best our Fi can lead us towards having worthwhile values and not compromising them, at our worst we tend towards an intolerant, blinkered impracticality. We can tend to dismiss information that doesn't fit with our preconceived ideals and becomes angry when people point out how distorted our internal model of the world may be. This can extend to relationships, causing us to over-idealize those we love, leading to communication problems and/or disappointment.
    It's all about balance really. Need to find good balance between living richly in the inner world and connecting with the outside world.

    I need to believe in myself more.

  9. #159
    Senior Member Array Adasta's Avatar
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    Well, this thread seems to have died on its arse. In an attempt to resurrect it, I'll try to list a few problems:

    1. Self-Motivation - I have a big problem with motivation. It is pegged to my world viewpoint and therefore oscillates accordingly. If I am feeling dejected, I have no self-drive at all. This is because I do not feel that there is any value in my position in society/the world/existence. It is extremely difficult to break free from this and can irritate other people. The problem becomes one of expression: I cannot make anyone else understand the depths to which I feel dejected. Therefore, they view me as lazy and indolent, when really I am heartbroken. Conversely, if I feel that my place in society is justified and beneficial, my motivation is boundless. If I'm interested in a subject, for example, my aim is to conquer it, to assimilate as much information as is possible.

    2. Judgmental - I am often quick to judge. People, jobs, etc., it is all the same to me. I find that I am often right in my judgments; however, the speed with which I make them seems to others somewhat hasty. This means that I can meet someone once and effectively write them off - they are rude, greedy, impolite, they have ulterior motives, etc. As I say, I feel like I'm often right about these types of people, but I am often quick to call things (particularly events or parties) boring before even really trying them.

    3. Let Down - I often feel let down, usually by the behaviour of humans and humanity as a whole. It bothers me that even in day-to-day life I see so much injustice, even on the most basic level. People are rude, selfish; they lie and deceive. People often tell me to get over these things but it's very hard when one is constantly confronted by them at every turn! This is frequently a point of contention with other types because they see my maudlin attitude as self-indulgent whereas I feel it as profoundly disillusioning.
    That girls are raped, that two boys knife a third,
    Were axioms to him, who'd never heard
    Of any world where promises were kept,
    Or one could weep because another wept.

  10. #160
    Senior Member Array Soar337's Avatar
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    I feel that if I feel 'not liked' or ganged up on or generally not liking my life i go into recluse mode. It's not that I don't try to change things...the reason why I feel not liked is because of what i did to try and change things. But er, perhaps this is my own personal experience :P
    <3

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