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Thread: Common INFP Issues

  1. #111
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    I've got a 30k debt. No house, no car, no education. I've tried to go to school three times, and I backed down every time. In order to learn something, I need to 'feel' it. It is the only way I can push my think-button. That's why I'm better off learning on my own. But you can't get bachelor degree's by teaching yourself!

    I know more about Network Administration than my brother, yet he's the one with the degree, and he's the one who can get the job, not me. But that's life.

    I'm much better off living it easy anyway.

  2. #112
    にゃん Array runvardh's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by 21% View Post
    Well, our situation is sort of complicated. He's getting himself into a 100K debt and a 3-year long-distance (at least), and I really, really want to believe that it would work out, but just thinking about it makes me feel sick in the stomach.

    Thanks for sharing your story. I'd say think really hard and do lots of research before you borrow. I've been reading things about student loans that make me want to cry.

    I'm sorry. I'm a bit shaken up right now because he just dropped his decision on me. I sort of saw it coming, but when it came to it I just couldn't help but be feel very disturbed and terrified. Selfish of me, I know. I feel terrible about myself.


    (Sorry, didn't mean to make this a thread about my situation)
    You're making it sound like he's made the decision and is working on the follow through. Is that correct? In that case that's not much of an example of indecisiveness...
    Dreams are best served manifest and tangible.

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    I accept no responsibility, what so ever, for the fact that I exist; I do, however, accept full responsibility for what I do while I exist.


  3. #113
    Vaguely Precise Array Seymour's Avatar
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    While not ignoring the specifics of 21%'s experiences, I was reviewing the available statistics on INFP and careers. For example from page 304 the 1998 MBTI Manual, INFPs (when asked about work satisfaction) are likely to be:

    • Less satisfied with work
    • Less satisfied with company
    • Less satisfied with future opportunities
    • Likely to leave

    which beats every type and ties INTPs for most work dissatisfactions. (Although, looks like ISFP win for low income, while ENTJS win for high income.) Meanwhile, INFPs' most important work environment characteristics:
    • Independence and achievement
    • Variety of tasks
    • Clear structure
    • Teamwork
    • Loyalty/security

    (bold above means liked by over 80% of INFPs) Also, INFPs were in the top four types for valuing "People from different backgrounds."

    All of which seems to indicate that it's not unusual for INFPs to have a hard time finding a satisfying job/career. I find that unsurprising since Fi + Ne do not lead to skills that are inherently valued in the workplace. A lot of work is mundane and requires self-discipline and delayed gratification in the face of unpleasantness—not skills that INFPs tend to develop first. Also the idealism inspired by Fi + Ne may not be satisfied with a lot of the mundanity of day to day work life.

    So, while I don't think the above is any reason for INFPs to despair about finding a good career, if you are struggling it looks like you are not alone. All you have to do is look at some of younger INFP posting on PersonalityC to verify that.

    Meanwhile, I think that sometimes action is better than inaction, and grappling with the actual sometimes beats waiting for the ideal. I'd be interested in hearing what other INFPs think about their struggles with jobs/careers. Clearly jobs/careers can be a big issue for many INFPs.

  4. #114
    You have a choice! Array 21%'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by runvardh View Post
    You're making it sound like he's made the decision and is working on the follow through. Is that correct? In that case that's not much of an example of indecisiveness...
    I posted the question before he made the decision. He was in a long, agonizing process of indecision for four months and suddenly said he was going to do it and he didn't want to think about the future and the consequences now. So, yeah, my J-ness is freaking out >_>

    Quote Originally Posted by angell_m View Post
    I've got a 30k debt. No house, no car, no education. I've tried to go to school three times, and I backed down every time. In order to learn something, I need to 'feel' it. It is the only way I can push my think-button. That's why I'm better off learning on my own. But you can't get bachelor degree's by teaching yourself!

    I know more about Network Administration than my brother, yet he's the one with the degree, and he's the one who can get the job, not me. But that's life.

    I'm much better off living it easy anyway.
    Quote Originally Posted by Seymour View Post
    While not ignoring the specifics of 21%'s experiences, I was reviewing the available statistics on INFP and careers. For example from page 304 the 1998 MBTI Manual, INFPs (when asked about work satisfaction) are likely to be:

    • Less satisfied with work
    • Less satisfied with company
    • Less satisfied with future opportunities
    • Likely to leave

    which beats every type and ties INTPs for most work dissatisfactions. (Although, looks like ISFP win for low income, while ENTJS win for high income.) Meanwhile, INFPs' most important work environment characteristics:
    • Independence and achievement
    • Variety of tasks
    • Clear structure
    • Teamwork
    • Loyalty/security

    (bold above means liked by over 80% of INFPs) Also, INFPs were in the top four types for valuing "People from different backgrounds."

    All of which seems to indicate that it's not unusual for INFPs to have a hard time finding a satisfying job/career. I find that unsurprising since Fi + Ne do not lead to skills that are inherently valued in the workplace. A lot of work is mundane and requires self-discipline and delayed gratification in the face of unpleasantness—not skills that INFPs tend to develop first. Also the idealism inspired by Fi + Ne may not be satisfied with a lot of the mundanity of day to day work life.

    So, while I don't think the above is any reason for INFPs to despair about finding a good career, if you are struggling it looks like you are not alone. All you have to do is look at some of younger INFP posting on PersonalityC to verify that.

    Meanwhile, I think that sometimes action is better than inaction, and grappling with the actual sometimes beats waiting for the ideal. I'd be interested in hearing what other INFPs think about their struggles with jobs/careers. Clearly jobs/careers can be a big issue for many INFPs.
    It's a horrible world out there

    Seymour, your post is very helpful. However, if seems like it's near to impossible to find such a job. I wonder how important it is for INFPs to be able to find a satisfying career. What if you can't find one? Do you go through a period of disillusionment? Do you think your career defines you? How important it is to be successful in something you want to do?

  5. #115
    にゃん Array runvardh's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by 21% View Post
    I posted the question before he made the decision. He was in a long, agonizing process of indecision for four months and suddenly said he was going to do it and he didn't want to think about the future and the consequences now. So, yeah, my J-ness is freaking out >_>
    Four months? That's quick, it took me three years of banging my head on a wall till I decided to say fuck it and rolled dice on my top four. How's that for causing Js trouble?


    It's a horrible world out there

    Seymour, your post is very helpful. However, if seems like it's near to impossible to find such a job. I wonder how important it is for INFPs to be able to find a satisfying career. What if you can't find one? Do you go through a period of disillusionment? Do you think your career defines you? How important it is to be successful in something you want to do?
    Disillusionment, or you look harder at what exists and redefine your boundaries some. I found bar tending quite fun and it covers the top two on Seymour's list pretty well if you look at it. Not all drinks require the same ingredients, you're not always pouring drinks, and you get to see most people enjoying what you've made with in the first minute or two. It's a tempting career, but I only worked at a small town bar, not sure of my confidence at a city club downtown.
    Dreams are best served manifest and tangible.

    INFP, 6w7, IEI

    I accept no responsibility, what so ever, for the fact that I exist; I do, however, accept full responsibility for what I do while I exist.


  6. #116
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    I was content working at a grocery store when I was in my "nazi"-work-mode. I was only a substitute, and was called whenever I was needed. But it ended up with me working, not part time, not full time, but 120%-170%, taking on responsibilities that I normally wouldn't. The fear to lead gone, and the desire to lead there. But in there somewhere, girl-problems occured, or perhaps I just burned myself out, and I turned into a demoralized bean bag chair. It's happened more than once. And when it happens all I can do is retract and hide in my apartment from the outside world; Catatonic-mode. No one to help me but myself. And in that period of time it's quite difficult.

    The question whether I suffer from Bipolar / Manic Depression / Avoidant Personality Disorder has stepped in over the years.

  7. #117
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    Quote Originally Posted by runvardh View Post
    Four months? That's quick, it took me three years of banging my head on a wall till I decided to say fuck it and rolled dice on my top four. How's that for causing Js trouble?
    As long as you don't spend all those three years being negative and angry or totally zoned-out and uncaring and carry around that I'm-so-screwed or the I-couldn't-care-less attitude, then I'm okay with it, actually

    Sorry, [/derail]


    Do you feel an inner peace amidst the overwhelming chaos that is life? Or is the chaos part of the core?

  8. #118
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    Quote Originally Posted by 21% View Post
    As long as you don't spend all those three years being negative and angry or totally zoned-out and uncaring and carry around that I'm-so-screwed or the I-couldn't-care-less attitude, then I'm okay with it, actually
    Sorry, I'm not immune to those cycles. Try more dragged out and less intense as the time goes on while I basically live in the grey area of slightly miserable.


    Do you feel an inner peace amidst the overwhelming chaos that is life? Or is the chaos part of the core?
    Take a heavily ADHD kid, take him of his meds for a few days, hop him up on chocolate, then tie him to a chair that's bolted to a concrete floor.
    Dreams are best served manifest and tangible.

    INFP, 6w7, IEI

    I accept no responsibility, what so ever, for the fact that I exist; I do, however, accept full responsibility for what I do while I exist.


  9. #119
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    Quote Originally Posted by runvardh View Post
    Take a heavily ADHD kid, take him of his meds for a few days, hop him up on chocolate, then tie him to a chair that's bolted to a concrete floor.
    Won't hold.

  10. #120
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    Quote Originally Posted by 21% View Post
    Do you feel an inner peace amidst the overwhelming chaos that is life? Or is the chaos part of the core?
    The inner peace conflicting with reality creates the chaos.

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