User Tag List

Page 11 of 39 FirstFirst ... 91011121321 ... LastLast
Results 101 to 110 of 386

Thread: Common INFP Issues

  1. #101
    Banned Array
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    MBTI
    IxFx
    Enneagram
    5w4
    Posts
    859

    Default

    Edited: Removed Type 9 from the quote.

    Quote Originally Posted by Seymour View Post
    Type 5 INFPs - Some INFPs identify as Type 5s. These may be INFPs who test close to the F/T border. INFP type 5s may tend to:
    • Fall easily into being a detached observer, rather than a participant. While many INFPs have this quality (as it is common for all introverts), it is often more pronounced in type 5 INFPs.
    • Feel torn between engagement and withdrawing. Fi tends to concern itself with people and harmonizing values, while type 5s fear being overwhelmed by others. This can leads to type 5 INFPs feeling particularly torn when trying to begin or maintain relationships with others.
    • Like type 4 INFPs, come across as weird/crazy.
    • Appear to be more even keeled/flatter emotionally than other INFPs. The ability of Fi to regulate emotional state is used here to moderate emotional intensity. May have a hard time dealing with intense emotions when they arise (may attempt to flee into rationalizing and intellectualizing).
    I can relate. Much.

  2. #102
    Uniqueorn Array William K's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    4w5
    Posts
    986

    Default

    A bit late to the party so lots of good stuff already posted in the first 10 pages that Seymour has succintly summarized in his last post. Anyway, here's my POV brain-dump in raw, unedited form.

    The most important thing to know is that it's all about me. Yes, there I've said it. I'm as self-centred a person as anyone can be Of course, on the flip side, I expect everyone else to be self-centred too.

    In my interactions with the world, it's about my values, my preferences and my moods.

    My values are the core. I have values, therefore I am. These values are the basis of my important decisions.

    My preferences are how my decisions are reflected to the outer world. They are usually not black or white but lots of gray instead. That along with my moods will cause me to seem wishy-washy, flip-floppish, etc.

    Finally, there are my moods. As an introvert, I'm internally powered and Fi is like the Great Red Spot on Jupiter. A storm that is constantly churning and producing energy. How I'm feeling at moment affects how I channel that energy. Most of the time, the energy is used positively but there are times when I just want to shut things down.

    Some random thoughts that may or may not have been covered...

    - Prefer open-ended discussion to making decisions. When asked for advice, I offer possible solutions. When I state something, it's usually an opinion and not as a logically-backed claim. Disclaimers and smileys abound in written communication.

    - I can be social if needed to but if given a choice of attending a function/event/activity I dislike, I'd rather be called anti-social It's not that I don't care, but the effort of acting interested and happy far outweighs the social benefits. And really, you don't want to be near a disgruntled/moody INFP in a social setting

    - I enjoy helping others, but don't like asking for help myself. It just makes me feel inadequate and weak. I prefer to slowly come to my own conclusions about stuff. And asking for help usually means getting solutions that I've already thought of and discarded (as has been mentioned in this thread)

    - I hate being told exactly what and how to do things. Offer suggestions and give me time and space to chew through your suggestions and I'll implement them if I feel it's the right thing to do.

    - When I'm in a whimsical mood, expect random strange things such as dancing and singing in a public place. Oh, and some of my hobbies and interests may seem strange to you and other 'normal' people

    - Having no opinion is a legitimate opinion! It may mean I don't care either way or that I'm still processing the issue. Putting pressure on me won't hasten the process any further. If you really want a straight answer, tell me.

    - I'm very self-aware of my strengths and weaknesses. Don't be surprised if you don't get any reaction when you point out either. I don't want to sound arrogant in displaying my strengths and I don't want to seem like looking for pity in showing my weaknesses.

    - Things that I do well, I do very well and seemingly effortlessly to others. Coupled with my P-ness, I tend to look lazy, lackadasical and unmotivated from the outside but that is only mostly true

    - Last thing to remember, I have a parachute and I know how to use it. Bailing out in the middle of a discussion/debate is always an option, rudeness be damned!
    4w5, Fi>Ne>Ti>Si>Ni>Fe>Te>Se, sp > so > sx

    appreciates being appreciated, conflicted over conflicts, afraid of being afraid, bad at being bad, predictably unpredictable, consistently inconsistent, remarkably unremarkable...

    I may not agree with what you are feeling, but I will defend to death your right to have a good cry over it

    The whole problem with the world is that fools & fanatics are always so certain of themselves, and wiser people so full of doubts. ~ Bertrand Russell

  3. #103
    Senior Member Array
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    MBTI
    INFP
    Posts
    291

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Unkindloving View Post
    These two often send me into fits of wanting to gnaw the flesh off of INFPs
    Aww, they care, they really care.

  4. #104
    にゃん Array runvardh's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    6w7 sx/so
    Socionics
    IEI
    Posts
    8,559

    Default

    Oh, for me the disappearing thing becomes less pronounced the closer you are to me and how often I reply when I hide or how much advanced warning (new development) I give can be used as a test for how close I consider you. A non live in SO, for an example, has full access to walk in on a hiding day as long as there isn't too much talking.
    Dreams are best served manifest and tangible.

    INFP, 6w7, IEI

    I accept no responsibility, what so ever, for the fact that I exist; I do, however, accept full responsibility for what I do while I exist.


  5. #105
    You have a choice! Array 21%'s Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2009
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Enneagram
    4w5
    Posts
    2,619

    Default

    About indecision: what is the best way for INFPs to make huge life decisions? (Any regret-proof way?)

    It's something I'm trying to understand, as I never, ever experience regret. I think things through and I accept whatever comes with the decision. I might have made mistakes and bad choices in the past, but they are what make me who I am now, so I never, ever regret any of them. Guilt, yes, a lot, but never regret.

    For INFPs, I think it has to do with Ne and seeing endless possibilities and outcomes for each decision you make. It hurts me to see you struggling with regret and beating yourself up over something done or not done in the past. Is there any way I can help? Talking through the options just doesn't seem to work that well.

    Also, if you're clearly avoiding making a decision (and instead indulging in fantasy, sweets, video games, etc) and time is pressing, should I give you a little nudge?

    I am asking because, referring to the OP's quote about parking tickets, I know if I sort of try to get you to pay the first ticket and sort it out (even when you don't want to and it stresses you out), the problem won't pile up and get worse. I don't want to be intrusive, but there are some things that need to be taken care of right now and not doing it is going to lead to even more problems. What is the best way to go about this?

    I do feel like a Te-tyrant when I do this and I don't like it >_>

  6. #106
    Uniqueorn Array William K's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    4w5
    Posts
    986

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by 21% View Post
    About indecision: what is the best way for INFPs to make huge life decisions? (Any regret-proof way?)
    Wait until the last minute so that I have no choice but to make a decision? Seriously though, I don't think there is any best, regret-proof way. I've come to accept that I will never make a perfect decision and will set a hard dateline to do something to avoid the last-minute scramble. Writing down a list of the possibilities and then narrowing down can help. Though I find myself being impulsive at times... when I changed to my new car for example

    As to how to help an INFP who is stuck in a Fi-Si loop, I usually find a 'virtual' kick in the butt works. My friends/colleagues usually tell me to stop moping and point out all the good things that I have going on. We are usually self-aware enough to know it deep down inside. We just don't trust ourselves at times. When I say point out the positive things, I don't mean invalidate or trivialize the negative parts. Just nudge the Ne so that it's looking at the whole big picture instead of just focusing on the darker parts.

    Similarly when you sense an INFP dawdling on making a decision, point out the benefits of making the decision immediately. For example "If you clean your room now, you will have more space to put all the weird stuff you buy!"

    Oh, and telling us "I told you so!" is a big no-no. We are more than capable of beating ourselves in the head over our mistakes so we don't need outside help
    4w5, Fi>Ne>Ti>Si>Ni>Fe>Te>Se, sp > so > sx

    appreciates being appreciated, conflicted over conflicts, afraid of being afraid, bad at being bad, predictably unpredictable, consistently inconsistent, remarkably unremarkable...

    I may not agree with what you are feeling, but I will defend to death your right to have a good cry over it

    The whole problem with the world is that fools & fanatics are always so certain of themselves, and wiser people so full of doubts. ~ Bertrand Russell

  7. #107
    にゃん Array runvardh's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    6w7 sx/so
    Socionics
    IEI
    Posts
    8,559

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by 21% View Post
    About indecision: what is the best way for INFPs to make huge life decisions? (Any regret-proof way?)

    It's something I'm trying to understand, as I never, ever experience regret. I think things through and I accept whatever comes with the decision. I might have made mistakes and bad choices in the past, but they are what make me who I am now, so I never, ever regret any of them. Guilt, yes, a lot, but never regret.

    For INFPs, I think it has to do with Ne and seeing endless possibilities and outcomes for each decision you make. It hurts me to see you struggling with regret and beating yourself up over something done or not done in the past. Is there any way I can help? Talking through the options just doesn't seem to work that well.

    Also, if you're clearly avoiding making a decision (and instead indulging in fantasy, sweets, video games, etc) and time is pressing, should I give you a little nudge?

    I am asking because, referring to the OP's quote about parking tickets, I know if I sort of try to get you to pay the first ticket and sort it out (even when you don't want to and it stresses you out), the problem won't pile up and get worse. I don't want to be intrusive, but there are some things that need to be taken care of right now and not doing it is going to lead to even more problems. What is the best way to go about this?

    I do feel like a Te-tyrant when I do this and I don't like it >_>
    Regret-proof does not exist, just try not to bother me about the decisions I've made. The parking ticket thing is just laziness if the money is there, not indecision, and I would kick ass to see it dealt with or walk away. Honestly, if parking tickets are a "major decision" then his life is running way too good for him. Come back to me when it's time do decide career paths and 30 - 50 year goal plans and how to make those work with out wondering "what if". Parking tickets? That's straight up bull shit.
    Dreams are best served manifest and tangible.

    INFP, 6w7, IEI

    I accept no responsibility, what so ever, for the fact that I exist; I do, however, accept full responsibility for what I do while I exist.


  8. #108
    You have a choice! Array 21%'s Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2009
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Enneagram
    4w5
    Posts
    2,619

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by runvardh View Post
    Regret-proof does not exist, just try not to bother me about the decisions I've made. The parking ticket thing is just laziness if the money is there, not indecision, and I would kick ass to see it dealt with or walk away. Honestly, if parking tickets are a "major decision" then his life is running way too good for him. Come back to me when it's time do decide career paths and 30 - 50 year goal plans and how to make those work with out wondering "what if". Parking tickets? That's straight up bull shit.
    I was just referring to the OP's quoting stringtheory on dealing with parking tickets as an example. My INFP's going through something a lot bigger than that. Career path, getting in debt -- serious, depressing stuff, you know. I really wish it was something like parking tickets...

  9. #109
    にゃん Array runvardh's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    6w7 sx/so
    Socionics
    IEI
    Posts
    8,559

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by 21% View Post
    I was just referring to the OP's quoting stringtheory on dealing with parking tickets as an example. My INFP's going through something a lot bigger than that. Career path, getting in debt -- serious, depressing stuff, you know. I really wish it was something like parking tickets...
    Will you stick by him through the joy and the hell of any of the paths he has laid out before him?

    EDIT: I've turned mine into a reaction to what ever happens to me. I'm just recently out of work and running the question even harder. Then again I've decided if I'm going to switch it's going to be aerospace, I just used frustration and dice to make that decision. When I start on that path, however, depends on what job I get next, and what sort of possible advancement I can get out of it. I'll need to spend money on education, one way or another, but I'd prefer not to have to move around much if I can.
    Dreams are best served manifest and tangible.

    INFP, 6w7, IEI

    I accept no responsibility, what so ever, for the fact that I exist; I do, however, accept full responsibility for what I do while I exist.


  10. #110
    You have a choice! Array 21%'s Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2009
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Enneagram
    4w5
    Posts
    2,619

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by runvardh View Post
    Will you stick by him through the joy and the hell of any of the paths he has laid out before him?

    EDIT: I've turned mine into a reaction to what ever happens to me. I'm just recently out of work and running the question even harder. Then again I've decided if I'm going to switch it's going to be aerospace, I just used frustration and dice to make that decision. When I start on that path, however, depends on what job I get next, and what sort of possible advancement I can get out of it. I'll need to spend money on education, one way or another, but I'd prefer not to have to move around much if I can.
    Well, our situation is sort of complicated. He's getting himself into a 100K debt and a 3-year long-distance (at least), and I really, really want to believe that it would work out, but just thinking about it makes me feel sick in the stomach.

    Thanks for sharing your story. I'd say think really hard and do lots of research before you borrow. I've been reading things about student loans that make me want to cry.

    I'm sorry. I'm a bit shaken up right now because he just dropped his decision on me. I sort of saw it coming, but when it came to it I just couldn't help but be feel very disturbed and terrified. Selfish of me, I know. I feel terrible about myself.


    (Sorry, didn't mean to make this a thread about my situation)

Similar Threads

  1. [INFJ] Common INFJ issues
    By fidelia in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 662
    Last Post: 12-08-2016, 01:19 PM
  2. [INTJ] Common INTJ Issues
    By highlander in forum The NT Rationale (ENTP, INTP, ENTJ, INTJ)
    Replies: 302
    Last Post: 11-09-2016, 10:42 PM
  3. [ISFP] Common ISFP Issues
    By highlander in forum The SP Arthouse (ESFP, ISFP, ESTP, ISTP)
    Replies: 83
    Last Post: 07-07-2016, 10:29 PM
  4. [NF] Common INFP-INFJ Relationship Issues
    By Lenian in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 04-22-2016, 01:28 PM
  5. [INFP] Is anyone going to write a Common Issues INFP thread? Anyone?
    By Rebe in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 11
    Last Post: 07-28-2010, 08:30 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO