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[ENFP] Ask an ENFP.. For real!

Starry

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Yeah, I'd say that's a pretty good read...

I'm worried that ENFPs need constant attention 24/7 if you're in a LTR with them.

I can't be a babysitter for my SO; I want quality time, but they need to be able to handle their own.

And I don't want that free time turning into "oh, since you weren't here, I went out and met this guy friend, but don't worry, it's totally not like that!"
:rly???::rly???::rly???::girlpower::rly???::rly???::rly???:

I have never cheated...nor would I. And of all the ENFPs I have ever known...they are extraordinarily faithful. And have been in the longest standing relationships of all the relationships I have known. I don't really understand where ENFPs get that reputation. Again...the ENFPs I have known are very dedicated to their relationships in spite of the 'flightiness'.
 

Zarathustra

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Yup. It was a funny question to ask. No trickiness haha!

Again with the "haha!" at the end...


I have never cheated...nor would I. And of all the ENFPs I have ever known...they are extraordinarily faithful. And have been in the longest standing relationships of all the relationships I have known. I don't really understand where ENFPs get that reputation. Again...the ENFPs I have known are very dedicated to their relationships in spite of the 'flightiness'.

How in the hell does one reconcile flightiness with being very dedicated?

(Not saying it's not the case, it's just, those would seem to be oxymoronic)
 

Lady_X

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*has a feeling this question is going to go unanswered just like ENTPness'*

hahaha i went to get a coffee

but starry answered it perfectly i think.

it will totally depend on how independent and secure they are within the relationship.

when secure...i am totally non jealous and can feel confident that they are to and not worry about any of that type of bs and just be...hang out with friends and do our own thing whenever we want...it's nice...and really the only way imo to be happy long term
 

Lady_X

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I have never cheated...nor would I. And of all the ENFPs I have ever known...they are extraordinarily faithful. And have been in the longest standing relationships of all the relationships I have known. I don't really understand where ENFPs get that reputation. Again...the ENFPs I have known are very dedicated to their relationships in spite of the 'flightiness'.

yeah me either

and flightiness can come out in the way of idea execution...plans, goals or careers...it may make us want to move to a new city every couple of years but it doesn't make us ditch people we love.
 

Zarathustra

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when secure...i am totally non jealous and can feel confident that they are to and not worry about any of that type of bs and just be...hang out with friends and do our own thing whenever we want...it's nice...and really the only way imo to be happy long term

Totally agree.

As much as I am an sx dom, each person in a relationship still needs to have their own life.
 

Starry

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Again with the "haha!" at the end...




How in the hell does one reconcile flightiness with being very dedicated?

(Not saying it's not the case, it's just, those would seem to be oxymoronic)

Being *flighty*...being interested in new people, things, ideas, experiences...wishing to seize the moment... none of that is incompatible with having a few constants in life. At least it isn't for me.

I think you may be reading a little too deeply into my haha. I am a fairly cheerful person I just type like that to indicate smiling or laughing...but not deceit or anything.
 

Starry

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yeah me either

and flightiness can come out in the way of idea execution...plans, goals or careers...it may make us want to move to a new city every couple of years but it doesn't make us ditch people we love.

Exactly!
 

Lady_X

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Being *flighty*...being interested in new people, things, ideas, experiences...wishing to seize the moment... none of that is incompatible with having a few constants in life. At least it isn't for me.

I think you may be reading a little too deeply into my haha. I am a fairly cheerful person I just type like that to indicate smiling or laughing...but not deceit or anything.

right yes me too...ive been called out before for my over use of haha's and sometimes think to edit them out but i just free flow it ya know and those hahas are sincere damn it!
 

Zarathustra

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Being *flighty*...being interested in new people, things, ideas, experiences...wishing to seize the moment... none of that is incompatible with having a few constants in life. At least it isn't for me.

:rly???:


I think you may be reading a little too deeply into my haha. I am a fairly cheerful person I just type like that to indicate smiling or laughing...but not deceit or anything.

Enneagram 6.

I have to check.


right yes me too...ive been called out before for my over use of haha's and sometimes think to edit them out but i just free flow it ya know and those hahas are sincere damn it!

nah, i'm used to your "haha"s...

but starry's...

 

Starry

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right yes me too...ive been called out before for my over use of haha's and sometimes think to edit them out but i just free flow it ya know and those hahas are sincere damn it!

The hahas are very sincere! (I totally stopped myself from writing haha again at the end...and it was hard).

:rly???:




Enneagram 6.

I have to check.




nah, i'm used to your "haha"s...

but starry's...




I was just thinking about it a little...and realizing that the 'constants' (people) I refer to are SO IMPORTANT...because they give meaning to all the *new stuff* if that makes any sense. Like...none of the *new stuff* would matter if I didn't have someone constant with which to share it with. I absolutely need that foundation and subsequent input like you wouldn't believe. And that may be the NF in ENFP.
 

Lady_X

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The hahas are very sincere! (I totally stopped myself from writing haha again at the end...and it was hard).




I was just thinking about it a little...and realizing that the 'constants' (people) I refer to are SO IMPORTANT...because they give meaning to all the *new stuff* if that makes any sense. Like...none of the *new stuff* would matter if I didn't have someone constant with which to share it with. I absolutely need that foundation and subsequent input like you wouldn't believe. And that may be the NF in ENFP.


yes...or the sxness i don't know but it's all meaningless if it's not shared.
 

Zarathustra

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The hahas are very sincere! (I totally stopped myself from writing haha again at the end...and it was hard).

*smirk*

I was just thinking about it a little...and realizing that the 'constants' (people) I refer to are SO IMPORTANT...because they give meaning to all the *new stuff* if that makes any sense. Like...none of the *new stuff* would matter if I didn't have someone constant with which to share it with. I absolutely need that foundation and subsequent input like you wouldn't believe. And that may be the NF in ENFP.

Do you find that INTJs are good at providing that foundation? If so, why?

Do you think ISTJs would be better?
 

Starry

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yes...or the sxness i don't know but it's all meaningless if it's not shared.

Yah...I don't know what to think there. I mean...the supposed ENFPs that can continually move-on to the next relationship...I don't know any of those kind. And I guess that they would be 7w6 so...OR...mistyped ExTPs (no offense to ExTPs...but I think they have an easier time making everything *about them*). I think the NF in ENFPs...is going to call out for 'longstanding relationship' on some level.
 

Lady_X

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Yah...I don't know what to think there. I mean...the supposed ENFPs that can continually move-on to the next relationship...I don't know any of those kind. And I guess that they would be 7w6 so...OR...mistyped ExTPs (no offense to ExTPs...but I think they have an easier time making everything *about them*). I think the NF in ENFPs...is going to call out for 'longstanding relationship' on some level.

yeah all of the enfps i know have been in long term committed relationships.

you might find an enfp who is single and has their eye on about 3 different people and maybe to those involved they appear flighty...and understandably so

but...that's not at all the same as a committed enfp just taking off out of boredom
 

Laurie

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Yah...I don't know what to think there. I mean...the supposed ENFPs that can continually move-on to the next relationship...I don't know any of those kind. And I guess that they would be 7w6 so...OR...mistyped ExTPs (no offense to ExTPs...but I think they have an easier time making everything *about them*). I think the NF in ENFPs...is going to call out for 'longstanding relationship' on some level.

Exactly. Short term yields no depth.
 

Zarathustra

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Exactly. Short term yields no depth.

Oy...

And this is why I might still prefer ENFPs to ESFPs...

On a contrasting note, though... some interesting stats I found in an old thread the other day:

Married
ESFJ - 53%
ISTJ - 51%
ENTJ - 51%
ESTJ - 50%
ISFJ - 48%
INTJ - 44%
ISTP - 43%
ENFJ - 40%
ISFP - 38%
INFJ - 37%
ENTP - 37%
ENFP - 36%
INTP - 35%
ESFP - 34%
ESTP - 31%
INFP - 30%

Ok, so a question for the ENFP 7s: the enneagram basically makes 7s sound completely and totally undependable in a relationship. Lots of talk about wandering eyes, problems with cheating, etc. Seeing as how ESFP, ESTP, ENFP, and ENTP are the most likely MBTI types to be enneagram 7s, and those four types represent 4 out of the bottom 6 types in the data above, how do you feel about such depictions? Are they accurate? Inaccurate? More accurate for ESPs than ENPs? Are they missing something, or are these real issues with e7s? [MENTION=10082]Starry[/MENTION] [MENTION=5418]Lady X[/MENTION]
 

Starry

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Oy...

And this is why I might still prefer ENFPs to ESFPs...

On a contrasting note, though... some interesting stats I found in an old thread the other day:

The above may tell you more about the ‘adherence to traditional values/institutions’ rather than the ability to maintain long-term relationships. Of the two ENFPs I mentioned above (both in long-term committed relationships)…one of them is married…and the other would like to be…but is gay and cannot legally marry.

EDIT: you added more to your post... I'll try to come back to that in a moment here.

Ok, so a question for the ENFP 7s: the enneagram basically makes 7s sound completely and totally undependable in a relationship. Lots of talk about wandering eyes, problems with cheating, etc. Seeing as how ESFP, ESTP, ENFP, and ENTP are the most likely MBTI types to be enneagram 7s, and those four types represent 4 out of the bottom 6 types in the data above, how do you feel about such depictions? Are they accurate? Inaccurate? More accurate for ESPs than ENPs? Are they missing something, or are these real issues with e7s? [MENTION=10082]Starry[/MENTION] Lady X

I think that ESFP, ESTP, ENFP and ENTP e7s are also more likely to be non-conformists...unconventional...rejecting of social institutions like marriage, etc. So it is probably difficult to get an appropriate measure. I do not even remotely identify with this wandering eye thing...and I do see that applied more often to the 7w8 in e7 descriptions...as the 6 wing is supposed to bring a sense of loyalty into the mix...(which I do believe it does). Still...I will say that my gay ENFP 7w6 so/sx...she does seem to have a big appetite for beautiful women and flirting...but it is totally harmless...and her SO is not threatened in the least. She knows who she's coming home to at night.
 

Lady_X

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Oy...

And this is why I might still prefer ENFPs to ESFPs...

On a contrasting note, though... some interesting stats I found in an old thread the other day:



Ok, so a question for the ENFP 7s: the enneagram basically makes 7s sound completely and totally undependable in a relationship. Lots of talk about wandering eyes, problems with cheating, etc. Seeing as how ESFP, ESTP, ENFP, and ENTP are the most likely MBTI types to be enneagram 7s, and those four types represent 4 out of the bottom 6 types in the data above, how do you feel about such depictions? Are they accurate? Inaccurate? More accurate for ESPs than ENPs? Are they missing something, or are these real issues with e7s? [MENTION=10082]Starry[/MENTION] [MENTION=5418]Lady X[/MENTION]

i don't relate to it either...not in terms of relationships.

i wonder often what it would be like if i lived in another city or had a different job...or how things will be in 5 yrs or 10 etc etc
but what i value most is having a loving committed relationship and super close bonds with my friends and family and nothing in my life would matter in quite the same way without them to share it with
i value becoming more and more intimate with my chosen person
i value growing together and pushing each other and becoming better versions of ourselves
i value letting them all the way in and feeling completely known

i value lots of things that come from long term relationships and pretty much nothing that comes from short lived lustful encounters
 

INTP

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The hahas are very sincere! (I totally stopped myself from writing haha again at the end...and it was hard).

dont inhibit your expressions because some INTJ doesent understand you!!!. its their problem if they dont understand what haha means, not yours, so its not your responsibility to change what you say, but their responsibility to understand. i have seen similar thing happening regularly between my INTJ and INFP friends and it only leads the INFP feeling miserable and the INTJ not understanding the influence he has on the INFP.
 
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