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  1. #61
    Iron Maiden fidelia's Avatar
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    Why would it be too late for you, my friend? You can beat all this! I know we don't have all the information, but keep in mind that the thoughts you have while depressed are not always an accurate representation of what actually is - just what you feel they are at that time. Keep fightin'! We're on your team!

  2. #62
    Senior Member Abstract Thinker's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by fidelia View Post
    Why would it be too late for you, my friend? You can beat all this! I know we don't have all the information, but keep in mind that the thoughts you have while depressed are not always an accurate representation of what actually is - just what you feel they are at that time. Keep fightin'! We're on your team!
    I'm 46 years old, divorced, childless, lonely, and tired. I fear that I spent it all, ya know?

    I'm just so ashamed of this thread now. I feel like I'm imposing and complaining, and that's really not my style.

    But thank you so much, all of you.

    I'm in awe of the awesomeness on this board.

  3. #63
    Iron Maiden fidelia's Avatar
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    Imposing? Of course not! Complaining? Sometimes you need to have a place to lay your burdens down at the side of the road so that you can keep on walking. I think it took courage and humility for you to be so honest and open to other people's comments. There are a lot of people walking the same path or that have their lives in front of them. It may be that you have saved someone from a fatal accident this week or in the future by putting up a roadsign or a guard rail where some of the biggest wrecks occur.

    And 46? That's hardly the end of your life! You get to decide what to do with every day from here on in. That's a lot of days ahead of you. Think of the potential!

    Tired, I can imagine. You've travelled a stony and steep pathway up a difficult mountain that very few successfully traverse. Sit down for a few minutes and let us give you a little conversation or water or a walking stick and then keep climbing! Let the sorrow you feel over the past be turned into something that can be used for good. You have the power to empathize in a way that many can't. The fact that you have seen how bad things can get allows you to appreciate what you have much differently. You can help other people change their fate by your honesty about your own experiences.

  4. #64
    Senior Member Abstract Thinker's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by fidelia View Post
    It may be that you have saved someone from a fatal accident this week or in the future by putting up a roadsign or a guard rail where some of the biggest wrecks occur.
    That would make it all worthwhile.

    Quote Originally Posted by fidelia View Post
    That's a lot of days ahead of you. Think of the potential!
    I am absolutely humbled and touched by your kindness and concern.

    Okay, I'm starting to cry, and I'm at work, so I need to leave for a while. I'll be back later though. You guys rock.

  5. #65
    Iron Maiden fidelia's Avatar
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    You kind of make me think of soil that's been dried out by the hot sun for a long, long time. You need some time to soak up the water of other people's support and care for you. At first it will all just get sucked down and disappear because the soil is so dry, but once you get enough, you'll find that green stuff will start growing again. Don't get discouraged. You're going to come through this!

  6. #66
    Senior Member Abstract Thinker's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by fidelia View Post
    You kind of make me think of soil that's been dried out by the hot sun for a long, long time. You need some time to soak up the water of other people's support and care for you. At first it will all just get sucked down and disappear because the soil is so dry, but once you get enough, you'll find that green stuff will start growing again. Don't get discouraged. You're going to come through this!
    That's a good analogy fidelia, and it gives me hope. Again, I thank you.

    I'm feeling really embarrassed about all this, but I won't erase anything I wrote. Like you said, maybe someone will see this thread and avoid the mistakes I made.

    I'm so ashamed of all the drug and depression talk, and what I'm sure looks like self-pity. This isn't the voice I wanted to have on this board.

    Sorry, folks.

  7. #67
    Iron Maiden fidelia's Avatar
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    I didn't think you sounded self-pitying. Less hopeful than you'd like to be maybe, but not wallowing. I believe that's way less harmful than pretending to yourself and others that everything is 100% A-OK when it isn't.

  8. #68
    にゃん runvardh's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Abstract Thinker View Post
    I sincerely wish you luck.

    It might be too late for me. I can live with it though. I have a great job and a lot of people who love me. And believe it or not, I have my health.
    As long as I'm alive, I have time to change something. Can't comment on having people who love you, but the bolded stuck out for me. Don't ever forget the pounding you put your body through and how many have done that and died. That's luck right there and don't ever think otherwise.

    I haven't done any of it, but I may be replacing body parts sooner than I'd like, and I'm only a little more than half your age. Hell, both my knees and hips might be fake by the time I get to your age.
    Dreams are best served manifest and tangible.

    INFP, 6w7, IEI

    I accept no responsibility, what so ever, for the fact that I exist; I do, however, accept full responsibility for what I do while I exist.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  9. #69
    i love skylights's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Arclight View Post
    Stay away from MDs .. Go find a counselor or a Psychologist .. Psychiatrists are just drug pushers themselves in their own way and do not seek cure of the core problem, rather only to cure the symptoms.
    whooaaaa. ok i was having a really interesting time perusing this thread until here.

    maybe you had a shitty psychiatrist, and i'm really sorry if so, because i can understand that being really, really frustrating. but please do not condemn an entire legitimate and already much-maligned branch of medicine which is doing so much actual good in the world. psychiatrists are generally just as interested in core problems, but many disorders are not black-and-white, and the underlying issues can be multifaceted. the goal is often just to get to a point where people can live a reasonably healthy, happy life. and at least the psychiatrists i know definitely advocate seeing both a psychiatrist and a psychologist, thereby getting at the issues through two very different but very complementary avenues

    plus, different drugs can have very different effects depending on personal body chemistry... i think it's very hard to tell people what works and what doesn't based on experience unless you know that their chemistry is very similar to yours...

    Some people have chemical imbalances and mental issues.

    Some people have emotional issues.

    2 different cures for 2 different problems.
    the two often overlap enormously though... and sometimes addressing one can make it drastically easier to address the other.

    anyway, back to reading -- INFP feels like my slightly darker, more serious cousin. and yeah addiction blows... i've been there too... recovery is so long and complicated

  10. #70
    Symbolic Herald Vasilisa's Avatar
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    Dear Abstract, do you ever consider what separates us from the animals?
    One answer: our ability to think about our own situations (including thought patterns) and change them.

    This is the amazing power that only you possess.
    This is why I continue to believe in you.

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