(1). Disarming Technique: you find some truth in what the other person is saying, even f it seems totally
unreasonable or unfair. When I have been on some other sites, I have attempted to be non defensive and
non aruguementive. Not all sites have been as nice as this one. I have been name called and yet prescribe to the
above position. It ties in... See More with my non negative energy position.
(2). Empathy: You put yourself in the other person's shoes and try to see the world through his or her eyes.... See More
A. Thought empathy: You paraphrase the other person's words.
B. Feeling empathy: You acknowledge how he or she is probably feeling.
(3). Inquiry: You ask gentle, probing questions to learn more about what the other person is
thinking and feeling.
(4). I feel statements: You use "I feel" statements (such as "I feel upset") rather than "you"
statements (such as "you're wrong!" or "you're making me furious!")
(5). You find something genuinely positive to say to the other person, even in the heat of
battle. You convey an attitude of respect, even though you may feel very angry with the other
The above information is mostly from the Feeling Good Workshop by Dr. David Burns
Copyright c 1991 by David D. Burns, M.D.. Revised, 1992.