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  1. #1
    I drink your milkshake. Thessaly's Avatar
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    Default Changing for the Worse

    At the beginning of the year I noticed a change in my personality.

    I'm basically meaner than I use to be. I have a deficit of empathy for those around me and am a lot more interested in manipulating people than I used to be.

    I think it was a series of heart break that hardened me. I'm not sure.

    I want to be the unguarded, soft, naive INFP I used to be. I don't think that's possible though. Or is it?
    With dreamers, pure and simple, the imagination remains a vaguely sketched inner affair. It is not embodied in any aesthetic or practical invention. Reverie is the equivalent of weak desires. Dreamers are the aboulics of the creative imagination.

  2. #2
    ReflecTcelfeR
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    Amnesia is the only way to start over on your personality, which brings up the question whether amnesia destroys only your memories, or the way you think as well.

  3. #3
    likes this gromit's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Thessaly View Post
    I want to be the unguarded, soft, naive INFP I used to be.
    Why?

    Another question to ask yourself: is there anything POSITIVE you have observed from the recent changes?
    Your kisses, sweeter than honey. But guess what, so is my money.

  4. #4
    Senior Member INTP's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ReflecttcelfeR View Post
    Amnesia is the only way to start over on your personality, which brings up the question whether amnesia destroys only your memories, or the way you think as well.
    i dont think amnesia alone would be enough to do that(unless there would be some major head injury involved also), i bet you need to lose your mind totally like severe schizophrenia or something like that.

    there can be some changes in personality without totally changing personality tho.
    "Where wisdom reigns, there is no conflict between thinking and feeling."
    — C.G. Jung

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  5. #5
    ReflecTcelfeR
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    So... the amnesia would destroy the memories, and the head injury would destroy the thinking process. Yeah, makes sense. Would the schizophrenia change the thinking process, or just divide it into parts? I don't think I'm thinking correctly.

  6. #6
    Senior Member INTP's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ReflecttcelfeR View Post
    So... the amnesia would destroy the memories, and the head injury would destroy the thinking process. Yeah, makes sense. Would the schizophrenia change the thinking process, or just divide it into parts? I don't think I'm thinking correctly.
    schizophrenia doesent divide thinking process, it melts different functions work together in really unhealthy ways. for example my friend has schizophrenic obsessive compulsive disorder(not near a typical schizophrenic, but these obsessive compulsive thoughts are formed in schizophrenic way), he is an infp so normally he would use Ne to gather information from outside and judge if its right inside, but when these schizophrenic thoughts occur he gathers information using Ne(using alot of "what if's"), but instead of using Fi to judge them(he can use Fi normally when the thoughts arent ill) he uses Ni to collect these possible trues from inside of his head also and they seem real to him and he trusts them just like an infj or intj would trust his Ni to be true. luckily his medications keep him from acting based on these thoughts too much(nowadays almost fully, but he still gets these thoughts), he feels they are 100% real, even tho he understands that they are just thoughts caused by his illness, but they seem so real to him.

    This illness havent changed his personality tho because it didnt make him lose his mind like a true schizophrenic would
    "Where wisdom reigns, there is no conflict between thinking and feeling."
    — C.G. Jung

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  7. #7
    ReflecTcelfeR
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    Alright. I understand that. That actually answers a lot of questions I've had on mental illness and thinking processes.

    Thessaly, you can't go back to who you were, but that doesn't mean you can't affect who are you going to be. My F moment of the day .

  8. #8
    Emerging Tallulah's Avatar
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    You can't un-know stuff, meaning you can't really go back to a point of naivete and innocence. But you can choose how you react to things. If you want to, you can choose not to be cynical or bitter. You can choose to continue to see the good in people.

    INFPs do seem to have a tendency to get bitter when their ideals are shattered or their faith in humanity is breached. Try to resist the urge to see a few bad experiences as indicative of all of the world. Understand there will be some bad, rude or manipulative people out there, but there will also be kind, loving and honest people, too. Don't throw the baby out with the bathwater. The more bitter you become, the more you view the world through that lens, and then you can't see the good anymore.
    Something Witty

  9. #9
    Senior Member Rebe's Avatar
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    Thessaly, I am meaner/colder/more manipulative and selfish than I used to be too. The only bad thing is I can't connect with people the way I used to. I don't express myself as openly and warmly as I did. I have become more reserved but at the same time, I have become more confident in myself.

    The sad truth is it's not a good thing to be soft and naive in this reality. It's much better than you have grown and learned. You can, however, choose to be less manipulative and kinder without forgoing your own boundaries and limits. That's possible. You are aware of what you don't like about yourself, change it. Make little adjustments as you go about your day and as you deal with your relations. I am constantly making adjustments when I can and always wondering what I am missing, which then I ask my friends about.

    We are human so we are complex and just as we are good and kind, we can also be dark and mean. We just need to find a balance, too much of either isn't to your advantage. INFPs tend to become extreme in either direction - so it's very important to, like Tallulah said, keep things in perspective, keep self balanced.

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tallulah View Post
    You can't un-know stuff, meaning you can't really go back to a point of naivete and innocence. But you can choose how you react to things. If you want to, you can choose not to be cynical or bitter. You can choose to continue to see the good in people.

    INFPs do seem to have a tendency to get bitter when their ideals are shattered or their faith in humanity is breached. Try to resist the urge to see a few bad experiences as indicative of all of the world. Understand there will be some bad, rude or manipulative people out there, but there will also be kind, loving and honest people, too. Don't throw the baby out with the bathwater. The more bitter you become, the more you view the world through that lens, and then you can't see the good anymore.

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