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[ENFP] Common ENFP issues

Nowhere

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Aug 6, 2015
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3
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3
OK, I'm new here. I haven't read the earlier posts in this thread, but by far my biggest issue is to crave for, and to enjoy social interaction but finding it frequently boring and too slow-paced, too orderly, too predetermined. Lacking spontaneity and substance both, which may appear contradictory but really isn't. When you can tell how people will react beforehand, its not too intriguing.
 

andresimon

Permabanned
Joined
Apr 11, 2015
Messages
249
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ENFP
OK, I'm new here. I haven't read the earlier posts in this thread, but by far my biggest issue is to crave for, and to enjoy social interaction but finding it frequently boring and too slow-paced, too orderly, too predetermined. Lacking spontaneity and substance both, which may appear contradictory but really isn't. When you can tell how people will react beforehand, its not too intriguing.

Welcome to the matrix son.
 

Nowhere

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Welcome to the matrix son.

Thanks and all that!

Anyway, I actually have something else I want to mention a well and it probably fits here, how come the stereotyping, but isn't it frustrating when people you do not see in an intellectual environment jump to conclusions about your intellectual vigour and people who see you doing intellectual stuff and discussing more serious matters instantly think you as someone who's ultra-serious. It always makes me super gutted. Yeah, I can be amongst student of my year and no, it doesn't really say anything about anything else. I actually wonder whether false or partial understanding of theories of personality may be to blame or simply that introverts are deemed more intellectually capable automatically. Or that showing emotions and valuing them means you can't master logic as well.

Could we stop pigeonholing? Not that it matters otherwise but how people deem you determines how they approach you and also if intellectualism is taken as a defining factor, or impulsiveness is, it means that trying to connect with them is harder as they've already pictured you in their heads.
 

andresimon

Permabanned
Joined
Apr 11, 2015
Messages
249
MBTI Type
ENFP
Thanks and all that!

Anyway, I actually have something else I want to mention a well and it probably fits here, how come the stereotyping, but isn't it frustrating when people you do not see in an intellectual environment jump to conclusions about your intellectual vigour and people who see you doing intellectual stuff and discussing more serious matters instantly think you as someone who's ultra-serious. It always makes me super gutted. Yeah, I can be amongst student of my year and no, it doesn't really say anything about anything else. I actually wonder whether false or partial understanding of theories of personality may be to blame or simply that introverts are deemed more intellectually capable automatically. Or that showing emotions and valuing them means you can't master logic as well.

Could we stop pigeonholing? Not that it matters otherwise but how people deem you determines how they approach you and also if intellectualism is taken as a defining factor, or impulsiveness is, it means that trying to connect with them is harder as they've already pictured you in their heads.

Our world is built on generalizations of the specific and specifications of the general. We often get reality very wrong. Don't take it personally. ENFP's are very versatile, capable of being experts in mathematics, physics, and being comedians as well.
 

Hawthorne

corona
Joined
Jan 8, 2015
Messages
1,946
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5w4
Instinctual Variant
so/sp
OK, I'm new here. I haven't read the earlier posts in this thread, but by far my biggest issue is to crave for, and to enjoy social interaction but finding it frequently boring and too slow-paced, too orderly, too predetermined. Lacking spontaneity and substance both, which may appear contradictory but really isn't. When you can tell how people will react beforehand, its not too intriguing.

Story of my life.

And right when you're starting to give up and preparing to retreat into that cave of bored cynicism someone or something comes along that blows your mind resulting in a disturbingly obsessive high and effectively recharging your batteries in one fell swoop, right?

That's how it works for me anyway. Quite a wretched cycle.

Thanks and all that!

Anyway, I actually have something else I want to mention a well and it probably fits here, how come the stereotyping, but isn't it frustrating when people you do not see in an intellectual environment jump to conclusions about your intellectual vigour and people who see you doing intellectual stuff and discussing more serious matters instantly think you as someone who's ultra-serious. It always makes me super gutted. Yeah, I can be amongst student of my year and no, it doesn't really say anything about anything else. I actually wonder whether false or partial understanding of theories of personality may be to blame or simply that introverts are deemed more intellectually capable automatically. Or that showing emotions and valuing them means you can't master logic as well.

Could we stop pigeonholing? Not that it matters otherwise but how people deem you determines how they approach you and also if intellectualism is taken as a defining factor, or impulsiveness is, it means that trying to connect with them is harder as they've already pictured you in their heads.

!!!
Oh how I have lamented about this exact same phenomenon. People come to expect one-face from you and if you ever deviate from it "Is something wrong? Are you okay? You seem a little off today." It's one of my few triggers...
 

GAEL

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Jul 21, 2015
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23
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enfp
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7w8
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sx/sp
Hi fidelia...can I come in from left field? I've had a quite a few people tell me that they would like a direct answer to a question they have asked, when I am convinced I have spent a lot of time just explaining the goddamn thing to them. Something about mistaking the facts for the truth....just commenting on different casts of mind. I find that a lot of people cannot extrapolate. However, I do admit I have trouble seeing the trees for the forest.
 

Dreamer

Potential is My Addiction
Joined
Jul 26, 2015
Messages
4,539
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ENFP
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794
So many people will often misunderstand me when I'm trying to explain a concept or idea because often times, my words are taken literally or at face value. I know this is largely my fault, but since I think in metaphors and abstract concepts, my word choice often takes on a language of its own if that makes any sense. Along the same vein, I can sometimes find it difficult to find the best words to describe my thoughts.
 

GAEL

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Oh I know exactly what you mean. When someone responds to me with the question: "what are you saying?" it makes my blood boil. If I'm particularly annoyed I will say: "nothing". but I just did say something a minute ago". Or, if someone persists in the inanity, I may declare that: "if I say it so you can understand it, I won't be saying the same thing." (The latter is reserved for a select few...not children, or students, or the elderly). Religious zealots are fair game, for example.
 

Nonsensical

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Aug 2, 2008
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4,006
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7
I think I throw people off a lot because 99% of the time I'm kind of a clown. I was in a fraternity in college and people were used to me as being highly eccentric, engaging, warm, personal, and pretty out-there and quirky. I'm always down for new things and can keep up with jokes like there's no tomorrow. And then there's the 1% of the time where something bothers me or I am vehemently opposed to something that happened or something that someone has done and I think I surprise people with a sudden onset of seriousness that I think scares people sometimes. It makes for no shortage of the occasional awkward moment. Obviously this is just Ne-Fi functions in concert, but for a fraternity with a lot of STJs, this was kind of a unique experience. That's a little insight into many of my experiences.
 

humblebee

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Oct 17, 2015
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sx
**deep breath**

"So.. You know when you're an ENFP and you're bored of working for someone else in something you don't believe in so you decide to start your own business and it does really well because it's people-based and everyone falls in love with you and supports your business then it grows to a size where you can't possibly maintain all of those connections so you start feeling like you're disappointing everyone and you hire some people but being an employer is HARD and you feel like you're letting down your employees UNTIL YOU REALIZE that you are amazing and you just need to flip the perspective so you hire a peer with boss-like experience so that you can leave that job and start ANOTHER business that is self-limiting in capacity by nature because you realize you need those external parameters in order to be your best and give your best?!"

THAT'S MY WEEK, FOLKS.
HELLO. NICE TO MEET YOU!
 

Jayce

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Mar 6, 2016
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57
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ENTP
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7sx
**deep breath**

"So.. You know when you're an ENFP and you're bored of working for someone else in something you don't believe in so you decide to start your own business and it does really well because it's people-based and everyone falls in love with you and supports your business then it grows to a size where you can't possibly maintain all of those connections so you start feeling like you're disappointing everyone and you hire some people but being an employer is HARD and you feel like you're letting down your employees UNTIL YOU REALIZE that you are amazing and you just need to flip the perspective so you hire a peer with boss-like experience so that you can leave that job and start ANOTHER business that is self-limiting in capacity by nature because you realize you need those external parameters in order to be your best and give your best?!"

THAT'S MY WEEK, FOLKS.
HELLO. NICE TO MEET YOU!

:bye: Hello there folks! I can relate to that so hard but haven't got to the end yet. Although I can see that in many projects that I need some parameters to really get anything done. If I don't have any frame, I just succumb to going through endless possibilities.

My most difficult problem in life has been the struggle to find a source of income that could feel fulfilling. I can't hold a regular job and don't even want to work in one. Every normal job seems like its not meaningful enough and not challenging enough. This could be one reason why its so blisteringly hard to commit to any job relationship. Luckily I'm now studying a creative field which is meaningful and challenging. This is one aspect of life that should last me a lifetime of endless learning. :) Now that summer is coming and I can't yet work directly in my chosen field so I tend to think I would rather not get a job at all.

So, my fellow ENFPs, what have you done to make ends meet?
 

BlueScreen

Fail 2.0
Joined
Nov 8, 2008
Messages
2,668
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YMCA
:bye: Hello there folks! I can relate to that so hard but haven't got to the end yet. Although I can see that in many projects that I need some parameters to really get anything done. If I don't have any frame, I just succumb to going through endless possibilities.

My most difficult problem in life has been the struggle to find a source of income that could feel fulfilling. I can't hold a regular job and don't even want to work in one. Every normal job seems like its not meaningful enough and not challenging enough. This could be one reason why its so blisteringly hard to commit to any job relationship. Luckily I'm now studying a creative field which is meaningful and challenging. This is one aspect of life that should last me a lifetime of endless learning. :) Now that summer is coming and I can't yet work directly in my chosen field so I tend to think I would rather not get a job at all.

So, my fellow ENFPs, what have you done to make ends meet?

In time you will learn to control your powers... :)

From experience, I'd say keep doing what you are interested in and keep learning new things. You'll probably need one job you stick with for a bit just so have experience in something and you look employable. After that people tend to respect the crazy mix of things you've learnt along the way. At the same time, I regret not taking more jobs when I was younger just so I could look back on the experience.

Regarding the parameters part, these days I figure if I don't intuitively see it then I'm missing information so search for it. I've got stuck in endless possibilities less as I've got older. Some of it was anxiety rather than anything to do with my personality type.

Most of the time I ground my intuition by logically ordering things on the page so I can assess them, almost like a feedback loop, and I listen to that feeling certain things are important or not quite right.

I can tell you what I do by private message, if you are interested.
 

Jayce

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Mar 6, 2016
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ENTP
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In time you will learn to control your powers... :)

From experience, I'd say keep doing what you are interested in and keep learning new things. You'll probably need one job you stick with for a bit just so have experience in something and you look employable. After that people tend to respect the crazy mix of things you've learnt along the way. At the same time, I regret not taking more jobs when I was younger just so I could look back on the experience.

Regarding the parameters part, these days I figure if I don't intuitively see it then I'm missing information so search for it. I've got stuck in endless possibilities less as I've got older. Some of it was anxiety rather than anything to do with my personality type.

Most of the time I ground my intuition by logically ordering things on the page so I can assess them, almost like a feedback loop, and I listen to that feeling certain things are important or not quite right.

I can tell you what I do by private message, if you are interested.
Hey there. I would be very interested in hearing what you do. I use Adobe illustrator with a drawing tablet myself. Lets me edit the layout after and it evolves into something, some day. I've figured out I want to be an inventor (products etc.) and somehow help people through psychology. Recently I understood that in the long run I'm really an ENXP with Ti and Fi. Somehow my greatest aspirations fit both worlds and the way I behave and think.

I lack extraverted judgement. Sometimes the Ne is just too overwhelming and I can't decide on anything. It helps me greatly to draw things up and type things down. I just don't do it enough. Its like I need to understand what makes the most sense and grants the most and greatest chances for success. But it also needs to be emotionally fulfilling and meaningful. If I find an overlap there, I think I have a winner on what to do next. :D

I wrote this here in the benefit of the forum but feel free to send me a pm. :)
 

BlueScreen

Fail 2.0
Joined
Nov 8, 2008
Messages
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YMCA
Hey there. I would be very interested in hearing what you do. I use Adobe illustrator with a drawing tablet myself. Lets me edit the layout after and it evolves into something, some day. I've figured out I want to be an inventor (products etc.) and somehow help people through psychology. Recently I understood that in the long run I'm really an ENXP with Ti and Fi. Somehow my greatest aspirations fit both worlds and the way I behave and think. I lack extraverted judgement. Sometimes the Ne is just too overwhelming and I can't decide on anything. It helps me greatly to draw things up and type things down. I just don't do it enough. Its like I need to understand what makes the most sense and grants the most and greatest chances for success. But it also needs to be emotionally fulfilling and meaningful. If I find an overlap there, I think I have a winner on what to do next. :D I wrote this here in the benefit of the forum but feel free to send me a pm. :)
With the Ti part, many studies suggest that the most common types among gifted students are the four NP types, with ENFP being most common followed by ENTP, so you definitely don't need a Ti or a Te to be good at school, or science or maths. Also, everyone has a different reason for wanting to solve or understand things.

For example, I just want to see and understand more of what is life and the world (or universe) around me and grow from that knowledge. So in science the driving force for me is things that help me achieve that, and peripheral things like credit or status are less of a care. I don't care if my part ends up being that I solve it or that I'm an enabler who quietly helps someone else solve it, just that the solution is now available to use.
 

epidemiologist

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Sep 20, 2016
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ENFP
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7w6
My biggest issue is getting so obsessive about a new idea or research interest, that I accomplish nothing productive. I am actually a very organized ENFP (in a fun way, sort of like Leslie Knope from Parks and Rec), but it is harder for me to break myself out of those hours of 'obsessive research'. I am a graduate student in public health, and while I think I've found the perfect fit study and career-wise, I still find it hard to finish my homework without wandering off on a tangent... Particularly if I'm having an in-depth conversation with someone and I can't stop talking. I've met a surprising number of ENFPs in this field so I'm having a great time with it, but I think we secretly despise each other when one of us brings up a topic that keeps us from getting anything done. Also, do any other ENFP's struggle with shyness?
 

Rebeka

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Oct 26, 2016
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49
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ENFP
3) Flirting. Due to the ENFP tendency to jump right to the intimate part of the relationship (the need to get to know people for who they are) and them not receiving or losing the copy of the social guidelines manual, ENFPs are often perceived to be big flirts when they're actually just genuinly intrigued by people. (to avoid future derail on this, I'll admit that I too was like this but I have become a conscious flirt over time!)

Actually last night I was speaking with my ISTJ's new conquest (not sure if we'll fit togetherXD) about her sexual preferences and he was absolutely freaked outXD but then he understood it was because of my curiosity and eagerness to talk about every intimate concern, I was not about planning to go to bed with him (not right now at least! haha)
 

Rebeka

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I hate becoming scattered and loose and that's why I put my efforts on goals (even when I hate what i'm doing but somehow i am committed to it) and on looking at the background for not to lose the attention to the need of others, as it happened to me in the past becaose i was too "in my clouds". Overall I'd hate being considered selfish or not loyal, as ENFP are sometimes considered:(:(
 

uumlau

Happy Dancer
Joined
Feb 9, 2010
Messages
5,517
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INTJ
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953
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sp/so
I hate becoming scattered and loose and that's why I put my efforts on goals (even when I hate what i'm doing but somehow i am committed to it) and on looking at the background for not to lose the attention to the need of others, as it happened to me in the past becaose i was too "in my clouds". Overall I'd hate being considered selfish or not loyal, as ENFP are sometimes considered:(:(

It isn't just "being in the clouds". ENFPs can be selfish or disloyal due to fits of passion, too, because the subject of the new passion becomes all-consuming.
 

five sounds

MyPeeSmellsLikeCoffee247
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It isn't just "being in the clouds". ENFPs can be selfish or disloyal due to fits of passion, too, because the subject of the new passion becomes all-consuming.

Not sure that's as distinctly different a phenomenon as you're implying. To be "in the clouds" is to be caught up with something that's in your head. I'd argue it's the same thing you're describing. Hyper-focus on the possibilities or significance of a single interest to the point of forgetting to consider the things that are right in front of you.
 

uumlau

Happy Dancer
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Not sure that's as distinctly different a phenomenon as you're implying. To be "in the clouds" is to be caught up with something that's in your head. I'd argue it's the same thing you're describing. Hyper-focus on the possibilities or significance of a single interest to the point of forgetting to consider the things that are right in front of you.

What I see from the outside looks like this. There's the normal everyday "head in the clouds" ENFP who is occasionally unreliable due to being caught up in other things, but there's also the "fighting revolutionary" ENFP who has taken up a cause (it could be anything, and often not very political at all, like pets and animal shelters) and become almost single-mindedly focused on that for a long period of time to the exclusion of others in their life. It's sorta-kinda the same thing, but the second one is so very focused, they don't even seem like ENFPs any more. Lots of "little passions" vs one "big passion", if you will.
 
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