[ENFP] Common ENFP issues

[Thalassa]

Yes, why are so many ENFP women so warm and cuddly and attractive, and well hot???

Also, an answer of "Scott, because your an INFP, and NFP's tend to be attracted to other NFP's" does NOT count as an acceptable answer...

Actually I'm rarely attracted to other NFPs. I didn't even think it was common for it to be that way. Are you making this up?

a only slighlty mroe serious question, given how popular ENFP's are, how to do you deal witha ll of the people who want to talk to you, be around you, spend time with you, etc. ENFP's tend to be very open and accepting IMO, and thats gotta put a lot of demand on one's time and social life afterall

The simple answer is to turn your phone off. Duh! I'm not joking, either.

Actually, when I was younger I felt like I had a good balance between my social life and everything else. I think I've always been pretty good at mostly getting along with people - even being "the life of the party" back in the day -when I'm with then, but setting up a certain distance from them otherwise if they aren't people I want to be especially close to. I've had issues with some of my boundaries, but keeping random people from snatching my energy hasn't ever been one of those issues. I know how to throw myself into the middle of things, and then just as promptly withdraw when I see fit. I was talking in another thread about how Fi can do that easier than Fe because we don't feel obligated. I think my ENFJ bff from high school has much more issues with people crawling all over her.

 

[angell_m]

Yes, why are so many ENFP women so warm and cuddly and attractive, and well hot???

Also, an answer of "Scott, because your an INFP, and NFP's tend to be attracted to other NFP's" does NOT count as an acceptable answer...

a only slighlty mroe serious question, given how popular ENFP's are, how to do you deal witha ll of the people who want to talk to you, be around you, spend time with you, etc. ENFP's tend to be very open and accepting IMO, and thats gotta put a lot of demand on one's time and social life afterall

Why are you spellbound by female ENFP's? You fail to see it when you look at it as typology alone, and you fail to see it without the help of typology. Look at female ENTJ/P's -- they too have a certain charm about them. ENxx types, unique, have what many women lack, a non-standarized charm about them, and an exceptional ability to show it. What makes you submit to them is when they find you interesting. They make you wonder why-- why are they interested in you? Because you can't see what's interesting about yourself, but they seem to know, without ever really saying why. It's mysterious, and you should leave it at that.

You could say the same thing about female INFP's. Because some of them possess that look in their eyes. It's only when you get older you learn to steer clear from those eyes. Haunting eyes. You know which ones I'm talking about (Liz Hurley). Today, these eyes describe everything I can't give them.

 

[Devil Flamingo]

Hmmm, I can relate to all of this particularly well! That's very well-written, for sure, yes. :3 There is one thing, though, that I didn't really identify with, but I suppose that you can't fit everything perfectly, or whatever...

10) Oversensitivity. Because an ENFP struggles to tame the Fi-beast, and the pain can be intense, it is very easy to cause emotional turmoil in an ENFP, especially when addressing the part of them that they're either very proud of in a negative way, or the parts that they're very insecure about. The reason for this is that the ENFP is already aware of this, or doesn't feel accepted, and it's like rubbing salt into a wound or denying them the right to be themselves. An ENFP is also unlikely to go push other peoples buttons like that, unless they're for some reason oblivious to them (Ne-hyperdrive) or angry with that person for some reason (Te-hammer, lethal at that point!), and will most of the time feel really guilty about doing so later and likely appologize for it. For that reason, they can very much overreact when someone does point out their flaws or talk about their person (or what they perceive to be a personal attack in any case), as they themselves would never cause anyone willingly that kind of harm. Little do/did they know that others don't have that same experience and therefore do not respond in the same way. Often, I would envy those that were able to take criticism so well, but for the life of me did not understand how they remained so calm under it all, or didn't consider it rude.

When it comes to sensitivity, I honestly cannot relate much to INFP/ENFP, many of which are supposedly sensitive or something?

Perhaps I'm simply misunderstanding it (I am new to MBTI, after all, I only know the very basics) but either way, I am just not a sensitive person. I dislike being called insensitive, though; I'm not insensitive, just a special blend of oblivious and thick-skinned. Only "my people" can truly hurt me; if I don't know somebody, their criticism or negative talk will almost never get to me, 'cause in my mind they don't matter, so I just brush it off.

It helps that I forgive and forget easily and don't hold grudges~

 

[You]

Only "my people" can hurt me too. Everyone else is sort of blase - whatever - I dont care. My thing is that I dont think they know what they are talking about, because they dont know me, or I knew they hated me all along so whats new? It doesn't tear me up like that.

 

[Amargith]

Flamingo, are you male?

 

[Rebe]

Why are you spellbound by female ENFP's? You fail to see it when you look at it as typology alone, and you fail to see it without the help of typology. Look at female ENTJ/P's -- they too have a certain charm about them. ENxx types, unique, have what many women lack, a non-standarized charm about them, and an exceptional ability to show it. What makes you submit to them is when they find you interesting. They make you wonder why-- why are they interested in you? Because you can't see what's interesting about yourself, but they seem to know, without ever really saying why. It's mysterious, and you should leave it at that.

You could say the same thing about female INFP's. Because some of them possess that look in their eyes. It's only when you get older you learn to steer clear from those eyes. Haunting eyes. You know which ones I'm talking about (Liz Hurley). Today, these eyes describe everything I can't give them.

I agree. I myself find EN/IN women extremely attractive and charming in a way that cannot quite be labeled/described. There's a look in their eyes. In that photo, the look is trying too hard. EN/IN women naturally have that look even when they are not looking at you.

 

[Lady_X]

are you saying those two are e/infp?

 

[Devil Flamingo]

Flamingo, are you male?

LOL! Yes, but I won't be terribly upset if I'm called or referred to as female (I don't see myself as having a gender, really, but since I'm physically male, I just go with that, since it's much easier than going into the whole, "Well, actually, my gender is neither male nor female, blah blah blah~").

Why you ask?

 

[Amargith]

LOL! Yes, but I won't be terribly upset if I'm called or referred to as female (I don't see myself as having a gender, really, but since I'm physically male, I just go with that, since it's much easier than going into the whole, "Well, actually, my gender is neither male nor female, blah blah blah~").

Why you ask?

Hehe, coz I've notivced that the male ENFPs around the board would probably share your sentiment. It seems that men are more raised in our society to be tough and less sensitive to what other people say, whereas women are raised to be 'nice and considerate' which makes it easier to be sensitive to what others say. Girls typically do the whole 'social outcast'-thing to punish each other, while boys tend to just battle it out.

Likewise, it's more acceptable to society that a girl cries and is sensitive about things, whereas a guy is often told to 'man up' already. Also, ENFP men seem to be more into the whole decisive,getting things done thing, more often (although we have plenty of female ones here that also have that attitude, but still).

Just a thought though *ponders*

 

[Vamp]

I think I might have been gendered backwards by my family/environment or something (culture could be an issue too. there's a "subsex" going on) because I can't relate to the sensitivity thing, either.

When I was little, i was told by the women in my family to "man up" (basically). Sometimes, I don't know if I'm sensitive or not. My family is full of what mainstream society would deem "masculine" women but they're just black/"african american" cultured. You don't cry, you don't whine, you don't get upset about silly girly things you keep moving or you battle it out. I've never avoided conflict, I feel it purges: I can't relate to the peacekeeper in most ENFPs. My family believes I am sensitive because I have problems with depression (and am "troubled"/ "weird") and I guess I am compared to them but compared to my friends I seem way less sensitive.

Is there a sensitivity test?

Changing gears a little bit; how many of you have been misread or mistyped by someone else as ESFP?
My Se is higher than it's ever been. I know that doesn't make me on but I think I can come off as an ESFP sometimes. I read and believe that ENFP and ESFP are look a likes.

 

[Rebe]

are you saying those two are e/infp?

Rose McGowan is ENTP I think.

 

[Amargith]

I think I might have been gendered backwards by my family/environment or something (culture could be an issue too. there's a "subsex" going on) because I can't relate to the sensitivity thing, either.

When I was little, i was told by the women in my family to "man up" (basically). Sometimes, I don't know if I'm sensitive or not. My family is full of what mainstream society would deem "masculine" women but they're just black/"african american" cultured. You don't cry, you don't whine, you don't get upset about silly girly things you keep moving or you battle it out. I've never avoided conflict, I feel it purges: I can't relate to the peacekeeper in most ENFPs. My family believes I am sensitive because I have problems with depression (and am "troubled"/ "weird") and I guess I am compared to them but compared to my friends I seem way less sensitive.

Is there a sensitivity test?

Changing gears a little bit; how many of you have been misread or mistyped by someone else as ESFP?
My Se is higher than it's ever been. I know that doesn't make me on but I think I can come off as an ESFP sometimes. I read and believe that ENFP and ESFP are look a likes.

I occasionally get that label I think when people don't know me yet and I happen to be in my silly mood, basically giggling and teasing people and jumping about. So, uh, the shallow kind of ESFP, but usually they quickly catch on that that's just something I do for fun

My Se for the most part sucks though
I cannot find a thing, I have no clue when my body is hungry, sleepy or whatever, I suck at coordination *especially* when I'm tired (which, I'll notice coz I'm dropping things left and right :doh), etc etc

I do however overindulge in Se-stuff when I'm stressed, and I love dancing, playing with bodylanguage, good food, and singing. I'm just nowhere near as good at these things as an ESFP would be

 

[Devil Flamingo]

Hehe, coz I've notivced that the male ENFPs around the board would probably share your sentiment. It seems that men are more raised in our society to be tough and less sensitive to what other people say, whereas women are raised to be 'nice and considerate' which makes it easier to be sensitive to what others say. Girls typically do the whole 'social outcast'-thing to punish each other, while boys tend to just battle it out.

Likewise, it's more acceptable to society that a girl cries and is sensitive about things, whereas a guy is often told to 'man up' already. Also, ENFP men seem to be more into the whole decisive,getting things done thing, more often (although we have plenty of female ones here that also have that attitude, but still).

Just a thought though *ponders*

XD This would definitely be true of my culture, known for its occasionally chauvinistic ways (not unlike other Hispanic cultures). And of course this is also true of North America, so yeah, you could be onto something else. Furthermore, as a kid I was hypersensitive, so over the years my skin got thicker and thicker to the point where as an older teenager I used to say a lot of crass and hurtful things to people, so I almost had to "re-learn" or "re-channel" the empathy that I was naturally born with. Now that I'm an adult I've chilled out a lot and stuff, though occasionally I'm still called an insensitive jerk, lolo.

I think I might have been gendered backwards by my family/environment or something (culture could be an issue too. there's a "subsex" going on) because I can't relate to the sensitivity thing, either.

When I was little, i was told by the women in my family to "man up" (basically). Sometimes, I don't know if I'm sensitive or not. My family is full of what mainstream society would deem "masculine" women but they're just black/"african american" cultured. You don't cry, you don't whine, you don't get upset about silly girly things you keep moving or you battle it out. I've never avoided conflict, I feel it purges: I can't relate to the peacekeeper in most ENFPs. My family believes I am sensitive because I have problems with depression (and am "troubled"/ "weird") and I guess I am compared to them but compared to my friends I seem way less sensitive.

Is there a sensitivity test?

Changing gears a little bit; how many of you have been misread or mistyped by someone else as ESFP?
My Se is higher than it's ever been. I know that doesn't make me on but I think I can come off as an ESFP sometimes. I read and believe that ENFP and ESFP are look a likes.

Oh God, I was beginning to think I was the only ENFP who is neither conflict-avoidant nor a peacemaker! Don't get me wrong, I'm no daredevil or troublemaker, but if you confront me about something I'm not going to back down or avoid you, and if I have a problem with you, I won't hesitate to come up to you and tell you what's up. Unless, of course, you're not worth the trouble (e.g. the person who I have a problem with is but an acquaintance I see in class sometimes; they aren't enough of a problem for me to bother taking my time to go up to them and go, "Hey, you're a dick, I don't like you" XD).

Likewise, this whole peacemaker thing... say what now? I don't LIKE conflict or disturbing the peace, but if something's not sitting right with me and the peace must be disturbed, the peace WILL be disturbed, even if I'm standing on my own and no-one's backing me up (ideally someone would, of course). When my friends fight, I sometimes intervene and make the peace (like, if I am really involved), but more often than not I let them sort it out themselves because they're adults and should therefore be able to handle themselves (that, and I'm usually doing my own thing, so by the time I learn of their little catfight, they've already kissed and made up). :>

As for being ESFP... I haven't read anything on being SF, but I identify with NF so much that I dunno I could ever be mistaken for ESFP; my NF is very strong while my E and P not so much, hence why I see myself as "eNFp". :>

 

[Amargith]

^ It's funny...I had the same choice to make when I was younger, coz I too was badgered to be tougher and have a thicker skin...but everytime I went there, I noticed that I was closing myself up, that I would be flying blind really, not be as sensitive to people anymore with all that it entails and it scared me. Also, because I was teased a lot, I didn't wanna become like them and tease others or even accidentely hurt others. I related too much. I eventually chose to bear the pain and the accusations of being sensitive over closing of the one thing that caused both the pain but also the joy I felt when I actually found someone I connected with, as well as the one thing that seemed to someone pick up when someone needed my help or was in pain themselves

 

[Devil Flamingo]

Also, not to change the topic but I just have to get this out and ask if this is an issue for any other ENFP (or INFP; I'm kinda borderline on the whole E/I thing though I think E is stronger).

Does anyone else feel like... "dumb" sometimes because they FEEL they understand something, rather than KNOW they do? It must be because I am new to this thing, but I keep reading all this stuff about MBTI functions (all this Ne, Fi, Se, etc. I keep seeing ) and I feel like I'm not getting it? I AM NOT DENSE I SWEAR. But it takes me so long to process this sort of thing because... I dunno, I have to get a "feel" of what's being said, even if in my head it's making sense? XD I'm probably just dumb.

I'm so jealous of ENFPs who can do math. I don't feel at all like I understand math, but I'm fairly good at languages, because I can easily learn how to put words together in a way that makes sense. Learning different sounds, memorizing spellings and instinctively stringing sentences together in a new language comes naturally to me, but finding "x" in a equation or putting 2 and 2 together is just... ugh. >> (well, okay, I can do basic math, but beyond that, it's all inanity as far as I'm concerned).

idk how to explain it, honestly. But the point is, all this seemingly highly logical functions stuff makes go "what..." It doesn't help that I have a horribly short attention span so if something doesn't register the first time it'll probably take quite a while to get through period. XD It feels like everyone in the forum knows wtf the functions do and how they work and I'm that guy in the back all like HAYYYY GUYS FUNCTIONS ARE SOOO COOL AMIRITE but in my head I'm like "I have no fucking idea what this MBTI functions shit Se, Ne, Fi, Te whatever the hell do lol".


tl;dr - potential ENFP issue = good at language, bad at math/etc.? (what I call "logical shit") :>

 

[Vamp]

^ It's funny...I had the same choice to make when I was younger, coz I too was badgered to be tougher and have a thicker skin...but everytime I went there, I noticed that I was closing myself up, that I would be flying blind really, not be as sensitive to people anymore with all that it entails and it scared me. Also, because I was teased a lot, I didn't wanna become like them and tease others or even accidentely hurt others. I related too much. I eventually chose to bear the pain and the accusations of being sensitive over closing of the one thing that caused both the pain but also the joy I felt when I actually found someone I connected with, as well as the one thing that seemed to someone pick up when someone needed my help or was in pain themselves

I guess I am sensitive, then. Still working on a thicker skin, it seems to be a dent in my abilities.

 

[Amargith]

I guess I am sensitive, then. Still working on a thicker skin, it seems to be a dent in my abilities.

Hehe..nothing wrong with being sensitive, imo

Ironically, I only got that thicker skin when I actually started to get an understanding of my own sensitivity. And I still have sensitive spots where I'm still working on being able to glance off blows. But I've found that understnading where others come from and especially understanding what the deeper reason is for your own reaction..by being curious about yourself, you can learn a lot and you can learn to gauge the situation better, which then allows you to disable strong emotional reactions that aren't accurately responding to the situation. It's not easy though, and I sometimes still struggle with it myself. But it gave me a lot more peace of mind, made me a lot less volatile compared to before, and gave me the tools to block the 'downside' of being sensitive, while keeping the benefits

After that..you learn to wield that sensitivity..that vulnerability like a pro, like a weapon, without ever needing a thick shield again (still working on that!)

 

[Vamp]

Hehe..nothing wrong with being sensitive, imo

Ironically, I only got that thicker skin when I actually started to get an understanding of my own sensitivity. And I still have sensitive spots where I'm still working on being able to glance off blows. But I've found that understnading where others come from and especially understanding what the deeper reason is for your own reaction..by being curious about yourself, you can learn a lot and you can learn to gauge the situation better, which then allows you to disable strong emotional reactions that aren't accurately responding to the situation. It's not easy though, and I sometimes still struggle with it myself. But it gave me a lot more peace of mind, made me a lot less volatile compared to before, and gave me the tools to block the 'downside' of being sensitive, while keeping the benefits

After that..you learn to wield that sensitivity..that vulnerability like a pro, like a weapon, without ever needing a thick shield again (still working on that!)

hmmm. I guess this could be why I seemed to get less sensitive in highschool. Once I "knew what I knew" things like criticism didn't deter me as much. It still does but not as much.

Also, not to change the topic but I just have to get this out and ask if this is an issue for any other ENFP (or INFP; I'm kinda borderline on the whole E/I thing though I think E is stronger).

Does anyone else feel like... "dumb" sometimes because they FEEL they understand something, rather than KNOW they do? It must be because I am new to this thing, but I keep reading all this stuff about MBTI functions (all this Ne, Fi, Se, etc. I keep seeing ) and I feel like I'm not getting it? I AM NOT DENSE I SWEAR. But it takes me so long to process this sort of thing because... I dunno, I have to get a "feel" of what's being said, even if in my head it's making sense? XD I'm probably just dumb.

I'm so jealous of ENFPs who can do math. I don't feel at all like I understand math, but I'm fairly good at languages, because I can easily learn how to put words together in a way that makes sense. Learning different sounds, memorizing spellings and instinctively stringing sentences together in a new language comes naturally to me, but finding "x" in a equation or putting 2 and 2 together is just... ugh. >> (well, okay, I can do basic math, but beyond that, it's all inanity as far as I'm concerned).

idk how to explain it, honestly. But the point is, all this seemingly highly logical functions stuff makes go "what..." It doesn't help that I have a horribly short attention span so if something doesn't register the first time it'll probably take quite a while to get through period. XD It feels like everyone in the forum knows wtf the functions do and how they work and I'm that guy in the back all like HAYYYY GUYS FUNCTIONS ARE SOOO COOL AMIRITE but in my head I'm like "I have no fucking idea what this MBTI functions shit Se, Ne, Fi, Te whatever the hell do lol".


tl;dr - potential ENFP issue = good at language, bad at math/etc.? (what I call "logical shit") :>

Yes. I takes me so long to handle raw data. ..except certain things. I suck with numbers but I can explain evolution. I used to have an INTP friend and we'd constantly be united on "teh worldly isssues" but she'd back her stuff up with facts where I had the feeling and just knew what I knew. It was weird to me that someone could arrive at the same conclusions with just facts. Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwww [/childish enfp]

I suck at math. I was great up until calculus. I wish there was no math, only language arts and humanities. Predictably, I was great at languages and humanities.

All of this helped me figure out I was a different kind of "smart" in highschool.

I'm notoriously bad at getting along with people I assume are "rationals" (good at math, bad at anything that isn't quantitative) and they tend to call me "illogical". I consider emotional/social ability (more) logical.

 

[Lady_X]

Also, not to change the topic but I just have to get this out and ask if this is an issue for any other ENFP (or INFP; I'm kinda borderline on the whole E/I thing though I think E is stronger).

Does anyone else feel like... "dumb" sometimes because they FEEL they understand something, rather than KNOW they do? It must be because I am new to this thing, but I keep reading all this stuff about MBTI functions (all this Ne, Fi, Se, etc. I keep seeing ) and I feel like I'm not getting it? I AM NOT DENSE I SWEAR. But it takes me so long to process this sort of thing because... I dunno, I have to get a "feel" of what's being said, even if in my head it's making sense? XD I'm probably just dumb.

I'm so jealous of ENFPs who can do math. I don't feel at all like I understand math, but I'm fairly good at languages, because I can easily learn how to put words together in a way that makes sense. Learning different sounds, memorizing spellings and instinctively stringing sentences together in a new language comes naturally to me, but finding "x" in a equation or putting 2 and 2 together is just... ugh. >> (well, okay, I can do basic math, but beyond that, it's all inanity as far as I'm concerned).

idk how to explain it, honestly. But the point is, all this seemingly highly logical functions stuff makes go "what..." It doesn't help that I have a horribly short attention span so if something doesn't register the first time it'll probably take quite a while to get through period. XD It feels like everyone in the forum knows wtf the functions do and how they work and I'm that guy in the back all like HAYYYY GUYS FUNCTIONS ARE SOOO COOL AMIRITE but in my head I'm like "I have no fucking idea what this MBTI functions shit Se, Ne, Fi, Te whatever the hell do lol".


tl;dr - potential ENFP issue = good at language, bad at math/etc.? (what I call "logical shit") :>

i like you new enfp person...haha hayy guys functions are so cool!

that is some funny shit...but yeah i think i know what ya mean...i feel like i learn by empathy or something i have to be in it to get it...full submersion...and that's tricky to do with math.

 

[Amargith]

Flamingo, I feel ya. Over time you learn this shit though without even thinking about it. In the beginning..you just feel it. And hell, even now, MBTI is just a set of definitions to me to describe a feeling I didn't have a name for before and a way to not get lost in that maze of feelings as you delve deeper.

I don't type a person through logic, I feel them, recognize the type of person and MBTI has taught me that such a person is likely to be an XXXX. Same with the functions. I use them to categorize behavioral patterns I've long felt before I discovered MBTI

I do admit I *loved* discovering this stuff, as it gave me a way to categorize this stuff which helps you work more precisely, instead of getting lost in that chaos of impressions. And it allowed me to truly work out the kinks and details instead of just seeing the main flow of it. So it is worth knowing

Don't worry..it'll come to ya too, if you stick around long enough