[ENFP] Common ENFP issues

[Glycerine]

Probably something related to Montessori or right-brained education, like teaching "gifted" kids or some creative field of teaching; or child/adolescent psychology; or International Studies/foreign language/cultural studies.

That's my guess.

I just took a developmental psychology class from an ENFP male. He was incredibly nice and well-intentioned but he drove me up the wall. We had to hear, "This might offend some of you but.....", "In my estimation...", "In my personal bias..." every few minutes in a 2 hour 15 minute class. He would go on these personal political tangents every few minutes. It's ok for people to have their own opinions but I wish he would have kept it out of the classroom.

Also, he kept telling us he thought he was losing his mind (in all seriousness) but based on previous experiences with him, I highly doubted that. It turned out nothing was wrong with him.

I know this isn't indicative of all (probably even most ENFPs.... marm's post just reminded me of him).

 

[skylights]

I just took a developmental psychology class from an ENFP male. He was incredibly nice and well-intentioned but he drove me up the wall. We had to hear, "This might offend some of you but.....", "In my estimation...", "In my personal bias..." every few minutes in a 2 hour 15 minute class. He would go on these personal political tangents every few minutes. It's ok for people to have their own opinions but I wish he would have kept it out of the classroom.

Also, he kept telling us he thought he was losing his mind (in all seriousness) but based on previous experiences with him, I highly doubted that. It turned out nothing was wrong with him.

I know this isn't indicative of all (probably even most ENFPs.... marm's post just reminded me of him).

very-developed Fi and not-very-developed Te alert

sorry you had to endure that, sounds like he was a great guy and extremely annoying to you! an NFJ friend of mine in college and i had a professor very much like this who i suspect was ENFP, mayyybe INFP. he was a really sweet older man, went on random ass tangents all the time, cancelled class when he felt like it, didn't really give us any homework, and was incredibly brilliant. we both thought he was adorable in his own way but while i LOVED his class, she thought it was kinda useless and annoying, lol...

 

[Glycerine]

very-developed Fi and not-very-developed Te alert

That's a little scary to hear. He was 65... I thought most people were supposed to develop tertiary functions by their mid 20s, lol.

 

[Chloe]

That's a little scary to hear. He was 65... I thought most people were supposed to develop tertiary functions by their mid 20s, lol.

nah, more like in mid life they are developing tertiary...
other things are wishful thinking

most people dont have well developed 2nd function by 60 anyway.

 

[Wonkavision]

You have to give things a few years to mature. Eventually your "silliness" will be much more restrained (by your own choice!)

Yep.

 

[skylights]

That's a little scary to hear. He was 65... I thought most people were supposed to develop tertiary functions by their mid 20s, lol.

lol...

well, he could have well-developed Te and just not care to use it, i guess? i think what develops and how it develops depends a lot on your environment/circumstances too...

if he just liked his Ne and Fi better, who knows. he could just say screw it. if he's got tenure then he doesn't necessarily need Te to get along

you might have liked my developmental prof better? looking back i'm almost 100% sure she was INFJ, very strong J preference. damn strong Ti too. nice lady but i couldn't stand her as a prof, because she'd skip around in her presentations and then test us on material she didn't even mention. given, it's fair game, but it's still frustrating when your chapters cover upwards of 100 pages.

 

[TreeHouse]

So nice to read I'm not the only one whose feels a bit hopeless at times, not finishing projects, maintaining contact with people etc although I think a lot of people are like that nowadays. I think what we have to realise is that although we have these traits we also display the opposite and aren't giving ourselves enough credit. For example when we think we "forget things all the time" that is an imbalanced perspective that is harsh on us because there are more times than not when we actually have remembered. Also we all hold every trait known to man as do all other personality types. The things that bug us about the other personality types are the very things we just dont acknowledge within ourselves. It's called "the mirror". Often we just display our traits in different ways at different times but we would all get along a lot better if people start to notice that when someone else is for example being "grumpy" and it pisses us off, we might wanna ask when we've displayed that trait ourselves. For those human behaviour junkies check out Dr John Demartini, he explains it rather well.:crazy::crazy:

 

[TreeHouse]

Is it wrong that I just put up this post so I could have a rummage through the smiley people? I mean a dancin, joint smokin, afro wearin banana just appeals to me. Am I the only one?

 

[stringstheory]

not in the least

 

[HotpinkHeatwave]

When an ENFP's Tertiary Te kicks in, full blast, and you start caring less about how your words make people feel, and you sometimes come off as a total bitch/smartass.

Dunno if any other ENFP has experienced this, but I certainly have.

 

[HotpinkHeatwave]

I just took a developmental psychology class from an ENFP male. He was incredibly nice and well-intentioned but he drove me up the wall. We had to hear, "This might offend some of you but.....", "In my estimation...", "In my personal bias..." every few minutes in a 2 hour 15 minute class. He would go on these personal political tangents every few minutes. It's ok for people to have their own opinions but I wish he would have kept it out of the classroom.

Also, he kept telling us he thought he was losing his mind (in all seriousness) but based on previous experiences with him, I highly doubted that. It turned out nothing was wrong with him.

I know this isn't indicative of all (probably even most ENFPs.... marm's post just reminded me of him).

I do that all the time, especially with people I KNOW are easily offended.

 

[Amargith]

At this point I'd like to ask the general public to contribute if they feel that certain behavioral patterns commonly found in ENFPs have not been mentioned or clearly explained yet.

 

[Scott N Denver]

At this point I'd like to ask the general public to contribute if they feel that certain behavioral patterns commonly found in ENFPs have not been mentioned or clearly explained yet.

Yes, why are so many ENFP women so warm and cuddly and attractive, and well hot???

Also, an answer of "Scott, because your an INFP, and NFP's tend to be attracted to other NFP's" does NOT count as an acceptable answer...

a only slighlty mroe serious question, given how popular ENFP's are, how to do you deal witha ll of the people who want to talk to you, be around you, spend time with you, etc. ENFP's tend to be very open and accepting IMO, and thats gotta put a lot of demand on one's time and social life afterall

 

[Betty Blue]

Just a thought, do we have an "ask an ENFP" thread?
I think we should if we don't yet,
after you (splays arms in a grandiose gesture of you first), no no after you my dear

 

[alcea rosea]

a only slighlty mroe serious question, given how popular ENFP's are, how to do you deal witha ll of the people who want to talk to you, be around you, spend time with you, etc. ENFP's tend to be very open and accepting IMO, and thats gotta put a lot of demand on one's time and social life afterall

I don't know about all ENFP's but I personally have two very different sides of me. When I'm with people (at work, when at parties etc.), I'm really with people, 100%: I share the athmosphere, I enjoy the interaction... But I accept only really few as my "real" friends. I'm really selective with people whom I spend my freetime with. I'm quite difficult this way, lol. Even if I share a lot of things with people and I'm really open, I still feel that people don't really know me and even if people think I'm open, I'm not really open. It's hard to explain. People tend to "judge" me the wrong way but I don't see it worth of it trying to make them see me because based on my experience, they do not understand.

 

[skylights]

a only slighlty mroe serious question, given how popular ENFP's are, how to do you deal witha ll of the people who want to talk to you, be around you, spend time with you, etc. ENFP's tend to be very open and accepting IMO, and thats gotta put a lot of demand on one's time and social life afterall

haha, simple question, complicated answer (for me)...

1. unfortunately, i have less energy for spending with people than people seem to want to spend with me... i don't see myself as super popular or anything, but for whatever reason i generally have more invitations than i can handle... i'm generally a good bullshitter but i'm very bad at turning people down (i come off as fake) and i do care about and love people so i don't like to turn them down often. so sometimes i accidentally overextend myself - it doesn't feel like it in the moment, because i really enjoy being with people, but later, when i'm exhausted, i realize.

2. similar to what alcea rose was talking about, i can be very open and accepting but i think some people assume that because i go deep i've shown them everything - especially people who tend to hide things deeply. but i don't hide my depth; i hide my range. for example most people have no idea i'm a theoretical physics nerd. and that is mostly through no fault of their own - i don't share that much - but sometimes people quickly dismiss me because they think they've seen everything. they don't bother to dig further than what i put out there. i will interact with happily with those who assume they have me down, because i genuinely like them, but i also am way less likely to devote my time to them on the whole.

3. some people, i just don't get along with as well. some come on REALLY strong and forceful to me, or are very critical, or generally in a bad mood, and others just have something about them that i dislike enough that, while i usually still like them or at least care about them, i feel like it works better for both of us if we don't interact as much. so i tend to avoid spending large amounts of time with them. i imagine this holds true for most people in general.

 

[You]

haha, simple question, complicated answer (for me)...



2. similar to what alcea rose was talking about, i can be very open and accepting but i think some people assume that because i go deep i've shown them everything - especially people who tend to hide things deeply. but i don't hide my depth; i hide my range. for example most people have no idea i'm a theoretical physics nerd. and that is mostly through no fault of their own - i don't share that much - but sometimes people quickly dismiss me because they think they've seen everything. they don't bother to dig further than what i put out there. i will interact with happily with those who assume they have me down, because i genuinely like them, but i also am way less likely to devote my time to them on the whole.

I like how you put it.

 

[angelhair45]

When an ENFP's Tertiary Te kicks in, full blast, and you start caring less about how your words make people feel, and you sometimes come off as a total bitch/smartass.

Dunno if any other ENFP has experienced this, but I certainly have.

Yes this happens to me most definitely. I can definitely go into what I call "ENTP" mode.

 

[Vamp]

^^Same here. I can complain and complain about the efficiency of a situation w/o taking peoples' feelings into account. Efficiency, doing things right as quickly as possible, planning etc., is an obsession of mine. Is that Te?

I can be slapdash but only when I'm confident.

I do that all the time, especially with people I KNOW are easily offended.

Same here. Especially introverted types. Love pressing those buttons. I mash all of them at the same time without knowing it.

 

[uumlau]

Yes this happens to me most definitely. I can definitely go into what I call "ENTP" mode.

^^Same here. I can complain and complain about the efficiency of a situation w/o taking peoples' feelings into account. Efficiency, doing things right as quickly as possible, planning etc., is an obsession of mine. Is that Te?

I can be slapdash but only when I'm confident.

Technically, it's more of an ESTJ mode.

Ne Fi Te Si
ENFP-ESTJ

Te is about arranging the world around you in ways that "make sense." In ENFPs that haven't worked with their Te function much, it ends up coming out like a bossy, know-it-all ESTJ (or ENTJ, even, since the Si might not be that emphasized, but ESTJ is typical), in the late teens, without a lot of sensitivity towards others' feelings or circumstances. Some ENFPs I know note that Fi seems to "shut off" for the duration. I believe it's possible to apply Fi and Te in concert, but it takes time and practice.