While it is typical to characterize Fi as "selfish", it should be understood that Fe can be just as selfish, but expressed in a completely different way (all the while trying not to sound too selfish). In particular, (2) and (4) can be expressed very selfishly. (2) implies that the world revolves around you, that it should matter to other people what you feel and what things mean to you, and if people don't comply with that worldview, it isn't a problem with you, but with all those inconsiderate people who aren't doing anything for you. (4) implies that people should automatically be doing acts of service for others. Not only is this necessarily against the nature of some people who are just as loving as those for whom this is a love language, it again has the built-in assumption that other people should be doing things for you, and if they don't, the problem is with them, and not you. It is a very Fe thing to say, "Yeah, but what have you done for me lately?!"
This is not to say that there is anything wrong with reciprocating acts of service, with intuitively reading others' feelings and attitudes and doing something to help them out. These are good things, but expecting it is immature, while outright requiring it is evil (by imposing on others, demanding that they comply with your wants and needs).
Also, I should make a point that ought to resonate with the INFJs here. We Ni-doms know what it is like to be misunderstood, that people really don't understand what we mean, that they don't understand or see the things we understand and see. In spite of that, I've had plenty of people, including plenty of INFJs, "read" me, make assumptions, and do things for me that I either don't give a damn about or even annoy me, thus proving that they don't understand me. (In later years I've come to recognize this as their version of kindness, and I receive it far more outwardly appreciatively in spite of being annoyed by it.)
Assuming that people who cannot read one's mind and do for one exactly what one wants, when one wants it are morally lacking is the Fe hubris. Yes, I know, Fe feels like it make reasonable concessions, that it doesn't expect mind reading, and so on, but when push comes to shove (and this is real life experience talking), Fe will insist that whatever social cue was plainly obvious and that not acting on it is a moral deficiency -- that lack of awareness is not an excuse, that one should (morally!) be more socially aware.
I can understand how one might grow up assuming that this sort of automatic reading of social cues is normal, but the next step is understanding that different people express love in different ways. Look for their other ways of expressing love, and they won't seem quite so rude, uncaring, unloving or unrefined anymore.