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  1. #531
    Awake Starry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by labyrinth_perhaps View Post
    Can we talk about the "self masochist" issues. OKAY THAT WAS SUPER DRAMATIC, but still.
    I usually beat myself so much, when I lose passion for something I was so passionate about. It's kinda scary. And it's really hard for me to move on from it. I don't know either to move on, or just come back to it. Because I usually forget everything about the subject I loved when I come back to it, or I just never seem to love it again.

    wah
    @Magic Qwan I think I found a new friend for you!

    Hello labyrinth, what does beating yourself up in these situations do? What purpose does it serve? Or is it that you learned through experience...from parents, teachers, media, social-structures and systems that only the severely troubled, the profoundly lazy, the going-nowhere-fast among us would act like a young ENFP...and thus deserves such treatment?
    Walk first through the fire.


    *Currently participating in the "No Likes" experiment.

  2. #532
    ka-POW labyrinth_perhaps's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Starry View Post
    @Magic Qwan I think I found a new friend for you!

    Hello labyrinth, what does beating yourself up in these situations do? What purpose does it serve? Or is it that you learned through experience...from parents, teachers, media, social-structures and systems that only the severely troubled, the profoundly lazy, the going-nowhere-fast among us would act like a young ENFP...and thus deserves such treatment?
    Excuse me, but what? I know I'm profound on these forums. but I'm like this for a reason. Obviously I'm severely troubled, or was. But I'm just looking for other possible solutions. and I know MBTI isn't necessarily like that, but maybe if I related to other people like my personality 'structure' I would find some similar past experienced issues.
    "I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying."
    -Oscar Wilde

  3. #533
    Awake Starry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by labyrinth_perhaps View Post
    Excuse me, but what? I know I'm profound on these forums. but I'm like this for a reason. Obviously I'm severely troubled, or was. But I'm just looking for other possible solutions. and I know MBTI isn't necessarily like that, but maybe if I related to other people like my personality 'structure' I would find some similar past experienced issues.
    Okay, I actually did know you would read my message and interpret it incorrectly...but since I had already typed it out and needed to go... I left it the way it was and kept my fingers crossed. Finger-crossing...as I have since learned...really doesn't do anything. I should have revised my message and posted it at a later time. Let's try this again...

    Is there anything inherently wrong with losing interest in something you used to be passionate about? Because I don't think there is. And yet you are saying that when this occurs you beat yourself up. And so I am asking you "why?" Why is this your response in these instances? (<-in a different circumstance I would leave my message at this...but I'm just going to continue to close the gap here.)

    I am under the assumption you beat yourself up in these instances because somewhere along the lines you came to the conclusion that losing interest in a former passion was a bad thing. Do I assume correctly? 'cause I'm going to keep responding as if I have... You have placed a negative value on 'losing interest' and so that when you do you punish yourself. Now, I am one of "those people" that believes no one can truly find a solution to a problem unless we understand where it originates from. Where do you think this originates from?

    Here let's try an example from my ENFP life. Do you think there is anything inherently wrong with getting-up out of your seat during a spelling test to admire the beautiful flowers your class is growing in milk cartons in the window sill? Because I don't think there is. And yet I got full-on busted for doing this...shamed really by my 2nd grade teacher in front of the whole class. Here, I had been as quiet as a mouse...the only person that actually saw me moving about was the teacher herself so I had made no disruption to the class. The class spelling words were well below my literary level...the teacher knew this...and I was keeping track of the words in my head. I could have caught up on the test quite easily...and yet I was made to believe what I had done was wrong. FYI - apparently getting-up during a spelling test is a totally lame thing to do. Why though really? Why is the world structured in such a way that most often makes me the 'wrong one'? Because I assure you...if I wasn't bored out of my scull at the slow, uniform, methodical, mind-numbing pace with which we did everything I probably wouldn't have had to try and *feel alive* by getting-up and looking at the flowers. If I was part of a dynamic, curiosity driven learning environment where I was interacting directly with agile-minded classmates tackling multiple subjects all at one time...I bet you I could have been right! But that's not the structure I found myself in. And so I was wrong...and I was wrong a lot.

    So now why do you think you beat yourself up when you lose interest in a subject?

    eta^^okay you know what...still don't feel good about leaving my message in this way...so I'm just going to connect all the dots.

    If the world was established and structured by ENFPs...moving from interest to interest would probably be a fantastic thing. Something you would be praised for. That's not how it is. In our society a value has been placed on...picking one passion and sticking with that one passion for the rest of your natural existence. You are in fact wrong according to 'what is valued' and you are treating yourself as such. I would like you to stop doing that. Beating yourself up will only make matters worse for you...it does no good. You need to start becoming okay with the way you are wired...or you need to find constructive ways to keep your passion alive. Capice?
    Walk first through the fire.


    *Currently participating in the "No Likes" experiment.

  4. #534
    ka-POW labyrinth_perhaps's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Starry View Post
    Okay, I actually did know you would read my message and interpret it incorrectly...but since I had already typed it out and needed to go... I left it the way it was and kept my fingers crossed. Finger-crossing...as I have since learned...really doesn't do anything. I should have revised my message and posted it at a later time. Let's try this again...

    Is there anything inherently wrong with losing interest in something you used to be passionate about? Because I don't think there is. And yet you are saying that when this occurs you beat yourself up. And so I am asking you "why?" Why is this your response in these instances? (<-in a different circumstance I would leave my message at this...but I'm just going to continue to close the gap here.)

    I am under the assumption you beat yourself up in these instances because somewhere along the lines you came to the conclusion that losing interest in a former passion was a bad thing. Do I assume correctly? 'cause I'm going to keep responding as if I have... You have placed a negative value on 'losing interest' and so that when you do you punish yourself. Now, I am one of "those people" that believes no one can truly find a solution to a problem unless we understand where it originates from. Where do you think this the originates from?

    Here let's try an example from my ENFP life. Do you think there is anything inherently wrong with getting-up out of your seat during a spelling test to admire the beautiful flowers your class is growing in milk cartons in the window sill? Because I don't think there is. And yet I got full-on busted for doing this...shamed really by my 2nd grade teacher in front of the whole class. Here, I had been as quiet as a mouse...the only person that actually saw me moving about was the teacher herself so I had made no disruption to the class. The class spelling words were well below my literary level...the teacher knew this...and I was keeping track of the words in my head. I could have caught up on the test quite easily...and yet I was made to believe what I had done was wrong. FYI - apparently getting-up during a spelling test is a totally lame thing to do. Why though really? Why is the world structured in such a way that most often makes me the 'wrong one'? Because I assure you...if I wasn't bored out of my scull at the slow, uniform, methodical, mind-numbing pace with which we did everything I probably wouldn't have had to try and *feel alive* by getting-up and looking at the flowers. If I was part of a dynamic, curiosity driven learning environment where I was interacting directly with agile-minded classmates tackling multiple subjects all at one time...I bet you I could have been right! But that's not the structure I found myself in. And so I was wrong...and I was wrong a lot.

    So now why do you think you beat yourself up when you lose interest in a subject?

    WOW, that was a great example and perspective. No but really, that was beautiful in the least cliche way I can possibly say that. Props to you A+. I kinda picked up on what you were saying earlier, but my defensive side kicked in very fast for apparent reason.

    I beat myself up, because I just want to succeed in life. I honestly just love to have fun 24/7, and it bothers me that fun gets in the way of everything for me. I try so hard to keep the littlest passions I have for anything alive. But, referencing back to that 2nd grade class room. I think me having fun is succeeding in a sense, but I also feel very negatively towards it as well. I just want it to be all play no work. And I've recognized this about myself for awhile, and I can't seem to make myself do anything I truly don't want to do...So I beat myself up for it. Which still solves nothing.
    "I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying."
    -Oscar Wilde

  5. #535
    ka-POW labyrinth_perhaps's Avatar
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    Capice, actually thank you!
    "I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying."
    -Oscar Wilde

  6. #536
    The Dark Lord The Wailing Specter's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by labyrinth_perhaps View Post
    Excuse me, but what? I know I'm profound on these forums. but I'm like this for a reason. Obviously I'm severely troubled, or was. But I'm just looking for other possible solutions. and I know MBTI isn't necessarily like that, but maybe if I related to other people like my personality 'structure' I would find some similar past experienced issues.
    are you my twin?
    Enneagram: 6w7 (phobic) > 2w1 > 9w1
    Alignment: Chaotic Neutral
    Holland Code: AIS
    Date of Birth: March 15, 1996
    Gender: Male
    Political Stance: Libertarian Liberal (Arizona School/Strong BHL)
    ATHEIST UNITARIAN UNIVERSALIST HUMANIST
    and
    SCIENCE ENTHUSIAST


    I say this as a reminder to myself, but this goes for everyone:

    You can achieve anything you set your mind to, and you are limited only by how dedicated you are to succeed!

    -Magic Qwan

  7. #537
    Awake Starry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by labyrinth_perhaps View Post
    Capice, actually thank you!
    Okay, whoa...I forget how fast young ENFPs move (things do slow down a bit as you age.) I am thinking you got my eta since you're now speaking Italian.

    Welcome young bundle-of-ENFP
    Walk first through the fire.


    *Currently participating in the "No Likes" experiment.

  8. #538
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    ...Almost not being able to give blood because you don't know your own height.

  9. #539
    ka-POW labyrinth_perhaps's Avatar
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    Why are ENFPS and INTJS/INFJS considered compatible for relationships? I know the basics of it but I'd like to hear some ENFP/INTJ/INFJ opinions
    ENFPS: what do you like the most about INTJS/INFJS and what do you dislike?
    INTJS/INFJS: same question
    "I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying."
    -Oscar Wilde

  10. #540
    The Typing Tabby grey_beard's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by labyrinth_perhaps View Post
    Why are ENFPS and INTJS/INFJS considered compatible for relationships? I know the basics of it but I'd like to hear some ENFP/INTJ/INFJ opinions
    ENFPS: what do you like the most about INTJS/INFJS and what do you dislike?
    INTJS/INFJS: same question
    @Amargith who is an ENFP and has been an item with an INTJ for > 10 years...*PING* to post #539 this thread.
    http://www.typologycentral.com/forum...=1#post2269654
    "Love never needs time. But friendship always needs time. More and more and more time, up to long past midnight." -- The Crime of Captain Gahagan

    Please comment on my johari / nohari pages.

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