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Thread: Common ENFP issues

  1. #511
    Intentionally Clementine Array Starry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Redbone View Post
    What about making investments in people based on "what can be/possible" rather than "what is"? Maybe an -NFP thing?
    Hi Redbone

    Because I always have one foot in the future...well, basically I don't know how not to be perpetually mindful of potential and 'what dreams may come'... and so much of my Life's journey has been/is learning how to assess *now* properly. I have wrongly, inaccurately assessed 'what is' in a person (place, thing, noun)... because I'm factoring in a vision of a future that has not happened and I have been burned for such 'foolishness' (my last relationship.) Without even knowing I was doing it... I was assigning qualities to him that were merely 'potentials' as if they were 'actualities' or at the very least 'soon to be actualities' <-and while in truth this system has for the most part served me well... it went quite wrong in the instance I'm speaking of and with it being a significant relationship as opposed to idk an art project or something... I admit I've been a bit shaken by it all. Will I change though...? Only time will tell.

    But the use of the word 'investment'...this word I don't relate to as it pertains to relationships and I'm not entirely sure why. Perhaps I should try to frame things in this way.

    edit: oh god. Due to some recent discussion on the site I thought I better get my butt back here and qualify the whole 'investment' thing. When I say this I mean that I don't view individuals as commodities. If I could somehow know for certain that some relationship would end sooner rather than later for some (unknown) reason...I can't see that as changing the way I would behave so much...or changing the amount of myself I poured into the relationship. I don't measure things the same way others might. If I'm devoted...if I become devoted then that is for Life...regardless of physical proximity, death..whatever.

  2. #512
    Senior Member Array AzulEyes's Avatar
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    Wow- the OP is from like 3 years ago- but it's really good! It sure describes this ENFP!
    We love love love people but when we really love specific people- they sometimes seemed surprised by it. Like- yeah- I really do love you MORE than the rest!!
    It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are. ~e.e. cummings

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  3. #513
    mod love baby... Array Lady_X's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AzulEyes View Post
    Wow- the OP is from like 3 years ago- but it's really good! It sure describes this ENFP!
    We love love love people but when we really love specific people- they sometimes seemed surprised by it. Like- yeah- I really do love you MORE than the rest!!
    Totally! And I've been that way since I was a baby! Haha I just sometimes adore people immediately and then just always do and then I always wanna take them with me everywhere or hang out with them all night when I see them or whatever.

    It's kinda weird.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  4. #514
    mod love baby... Array Lady_X's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Starry View Post
    Hi Redbone

    Because I always have one foot in the future...well, basically I don't know how not to be perpetually mindful of potential and 'what dreams may come'... and so much of my Life's journey has been/is learning how to assess *now* properly. I have wrongly, inaccurately assessed 'what is' in a person (place, thing, noun)... because I'm factoring in a vision of a future that has not happened and I have been burned for such 'foolishness' (my last relationship.) Without even knowing I was doing it... I was assigning qualities to him that were merely 'potentials' as if they were 'actualities' or at the very least 'soon to be actualities' <-and while in truth this system has for the most part served me well... it went quite wrong in the instance I'm speaking of and with it being a significant relationship as opposed to idk an art project or something... I admit I've been a bit shaken by it all. Will I change though...? Only time will tell.

    But the use of the word 'investment'...this word I don't relate to as it pertains to relationships and I'm not entirely sure why. Perhaps I should try to frame things in this way.

    edit: oh god. Due to some recent discussion on the site I thought I better get my butt back here and qualify the whole 'investment' thing. When I say this I mean that I don't view individuals as commodities. If I could somehow know for certain that some relationship would end sooner rather than later for some (unknown) reason...I can't see that as changing the way I would behave so much...or changing the amount of myself I poured into the relationship. I don't measure things the same way others might. If I'm devoted...if I become devoted then that is for Life...regardless of physical proximity, death..whatever.
    Wow yeah me too. Word for word.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  5. #515
    Entertaining Cracker Array five sounds's Avatar
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    Ahh feels so good to come here and read all this ENFP-ness. Redbone, AzulEyes, Lady X, and Starry, I feel ya guys.

    Starry, I get what you mean when you ask "will I change?" It's hard to imagine *not* pouring myself out for someone I really care for. It's my nature and how I know to be. I guess working on being "in the moment" is a good way to approach it though. I feel like that's when Te can come in handy and help me kinda deal with things as they are.
    You hem me in -- behind and before;
    you have laid your hand upon me.
    Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
    too lofty for me to attain.


  6. #516

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    Quote Originally Posted by nicolita View Post
    Anyone have a hard time staying organized and focused at work? I love my job, it's fast-paced, I see kids of all ages for short periods of time throughout my day, and I'm physically up and moving while still using my brain. You'd think I'd be able to deal with the mountains of paperwork, but it just shuts me down! I lose things, miss check boxes, and become so stressed out and overwhelmed by all of the legal documents and multiple deadlines. And when I get home, forget it! I already hated house work and cleaning, so after a day or week trying to keep up at work, cleaning my house is at the very bottom of my list. That, of course, leaves me less prepared for the work week and scrambling again. Can anyone help an ENFP sister out?!
    I recently got a cleaner. She comes on Tuesday's and Friday's for one or two hours, in the morning, depending on how much cleaning needs to be done. I pay her £10 an hour. It's the best decision I have ever made. Now I'm free to pursue my own plans. The money is totally worth it, and it isn't actually that much. I have so much more time on my hands and it's opened up a lot more head space. I'd recommend a cleaner to any enfp. Society would benefit if we were free to do what we were designed to do. We weren't designed to do monotonous work. Why fight nature?


    I actually thought of getting a cleaner in years ago, but I used to be sooo messy, that I would have ended up having to clean and tidy before the cleaner came, so I thought it would defeat the purpose. But I really worked hard at getting used to cleaning and keeping the place as tidy as I could. I simplified my life. I don't have too many things cluttering up my house now. Less is definitely more when it comes to things.
    I get the cleaner to do the dishes, clean out the fridge, sweep and mop the floors in the kitchen and living room and hoover the stairs, clean the bathroom, wash my clothes and hang them up and put them in the hot press. Basically all the things I put off.

  7. #517
    Entertaining Cracker Array five sounds's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Eye of the Potato View Post
    I recently got a cleaner. She comes on Tuesday's and Friday's for one or two hours, in the morning, depending on how much cleaning needs to be done. I pay her £10 an hour. It's the best decision I have ever made. Now I'm free to pursue my own plans. The money is totally worth it, and it isn't actually that much. I have so much more time on my hands and it's opened up a lot more head space. I'd recommend a cleaner to any enfp. Society would benefit if we were free to do what we were designed to do. We weren't designed to do monotonous work. Why fight nature?
    You hem me in -- behind and before;
    you have laid your hand upon me.
    Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
    too lofty for me to attain.


  8. #518

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    Quote Originally Posted by nicolita View Post
    Ha ha yeah. Hi five!

    She came this morning. My kitchen is immaculate.

  9. #519

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    Oh for fuck sake. Her daughter just texted me now, saying she can't come for just one hour, cos it costs nearly half that for her bus to get to my house. I offered to pay her bus fare and pay her £15 an hour, but she said coming for an hour makes no sense. Oh God. Just when I thought I had my life figured out.

  10. #520
    i love Array skylights's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Eye of the Potato View Post
    Oh for fuck sake. Her daughter just texted me now, saying she can't come for just one hour, cos it costs nearly half that for her bus to get to my house. I offered to pay her bus fare and pay her £15 an hour, but she said coming for an hour makes no sense. Oh God. Just when I thought I had my life figured out.
    You could try posting adverts on a college campus. I cleaned a very messy professor's house once for a hundred dollars or so. I was dirty and exhausted but it was worth the money!

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