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Thread: Common ENFP issues

  1. #411
    Post-Humorously Array stalemate's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by skylights View Post
    i just... ugh got so tired of trying to defend things! and then she would brush off my defense as if she wasn't really making an affront. it'd be like "well i don't really like ____ group of people, for example ____ person (a good friend of mine) because _______." apparently she can't stand people who are "goody-two-shoes" like the friends i tend to hang out with. so she hangs with the druggies instead. and you know? that's fine. but quit insulting my friends
    I've probably been guilty of this type of exchange to some degree. I will be giving off a negativity about a certain thing that is actually something the other person likes or care about. I don't do it if I know what I'm doing though...

  2. #412
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    I read the whole original post. My response to ENFPs is as follows:

    A hero is someone who does the right thing without expectation of reward, just because it's the right thing to do.

  3. #413
    Professional Trickster Array Esoteric Wench's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by LotsOfHeart View Post
    I read the whole original post. My response to ENFPs is as follows:

    We ENFPs you right back!!!!!!
    ENFP with kick*ss Te | 7w8 so | ♀

  4. #414
    i love Array skylights's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by stalemate View Post
    Are you a woman? You should totally hit on her just to see what happens. It would really shake up her world, I am guessing.
    i would, if it wouldn't throw her into severe emotional turmoil... she's coming out of a relationship ending, but it'd be a funny idea otherwise if we ever happen to be around one another in the future, though, i do totally plan to drop a comment about some chick being hot and then delighting in her surprise.

    Quote Originally Posted by stalemate View Post
    I've probably been guilty of this type of exchange to some degree. I will be giving off a negativity about a certain thing that is actually something the other person likes or care about. I don't do it if I know what I'm doing though...
    right, exactly. it was just stunning because i voiced how proud of / attached to my school i was, and yet she went ahead with the blanket criticisms anyway. i still don't know what to say. i think she got the message of not wanting to hang out anymore, though, because she hasn't contacted me since.

    it kind of makes me cringe when she posts her little quizzes that turn her up as ENFP on facebook though. i want to be like, stop giving my type a bad name!

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    Re: crude and insensitive

    If I allow myself to remember being a child - really remember - I have recollections of instigating my friends into performing a strip tease show at a slumber party when I was in the 4th grade. I also remember going to church youth groups a lot in middle school, where I'm quite certain I was perceived as being somewhat obnoxious for my CONSTANT giggling and overly-honest ideas and opinions thrown out to see how people would respond to them. I remember some of my more serious or conservative female friends finding me slightly embarrassing even before I was in high school, though I honestly wasn't very physically adventurous and didn't participate in any rough housing...it was mainly my mouth. People told me I laughed or talked too loud well into my early twenties, and I remember being quite shocked one day at lunch when a girl amongst my circle of friends in high school referred to me as "Hitler" and I honestly didn't know why she said it. Of course, now that I'm adult I can see how overbearingly opinionated I can be and have learned to curb it some and choose my battles.

    I think I've learned more and more Fe as I've aged, especially after developing natural Fi self-awareness, and sometimes I forget that.

  6. #416
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    Yes, I do think this is what it feels like to be on the wrong end of an ENFP. I think ENFPs can very much "talk at" people and overexplain things.

    Sounds like she's just still immature with her Fi so felt no problem at all with airing her strong opinions at you even when you obviously disagreed and felt personally offended.

    I don't know that being the same personality type is a guarentee that two people will get along. In fact, in some cases it might cause them to clash more if they see their own flaws in you and vice versa. Or like if you're both strongly, passionately opinionated people and your values differ.

    The sister I have the most conflict with is an ExFP. She tests ENFP but could be ESFP, in my opinion. But the shared Fi/Te judging functions, Pe dom, and ExxP interaction style are readily apparent.
    Last edited by Thalassa; 01-20-2011 at 11:26 PM.

  7. #417
    Happy Dancer Array uumlau's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Marmie Dearest View Post
    Yes, I do think this is what it feels like to be on the wrong end of an ENFP. I think ENFPs can very much "talk at" people and overexplain things.

    Sounds like she's just still immature with her Fi so felt no problem at all with airing her strong opinions at you even when you obviously disagreed and felt personally offended.

    I don't know that being the same personality type is a guarentee that two people will get along. In fact, in some cases it might cause them to clash more if they see their own flaws in you and vice versa. Or like if you're both strongly, passionately opinionated people and your values differ.

    The sister I have the most conflict with is an ExFP. She tests ENFP but could be ESFP, in my opinion. But the shared Fi/Te judging functions, Pe dom, and ExxP interaction style are readily apparent.
    Having the same, or even "compatible" (INTJ/ENFP) personality types is no guarantee of getting along.

    Values matter a lot. I married an ESFJ with whom I shared many values. We were so compatible in that regard that it hid the underlying personality clashes for several years.

    An analogy would be one's work/management style as compared to skill set and industry. You can match the job with respect to skill set and industry, and even get hired on that basis. This is analogous to the shared values. But even as you match in that regard, your work style (analogous to personality type) may not mesh well with that of your employer, making keeping the job difficult. The reverse case usually isn't so obvious, since we usually use objective things (like skill sets or shared values) to initiate relationships, and we tend only to discover the style/personality differences after prolonged exposure.

    FWIW, the first ENFP I ever met (knowingly) was the one who first identified me as an INTJ. We even went on a date, at which point it became glaringly obvious that we really didn't have much in common.
    An argument is two people sharing their ignorance.

    A discussion is two people sharing their understanding, even when they disagree.

  8. #418
    Junior Member Array off_janeva's Avatar
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    You know, I hope this site can expose me to ENFPs that I can coexist with (So far, from these posts, I'm finding a lot to like:])

    I was really close with an ENFP and her and I were almost telepathic, always responding to her thoughts, as if they were written on her forehead, but as time went on, I started noticing that we were different in a fundamental level. I was a bit more mature, and my manipulating tendencies were grown out of, but she had not become as self-aware. She would constantly try to manipulate me into taking over the world. I admittedly went along for the ride temporarily, out of emotional derailment (She and I felt we were soulmates). We could get anything we wanted without ever asking for it, but it came to a head when she wanted me to mainpulate a friend into buying us a hamburger. I told her, enough is enough, I'm not going to manipulate my friends like that. See previously, we had alway hung out with HER friends, so I was - to be honest - less thoughtful. I know it was still wrong, now, but anyway. It came down to manipulating one of my own friends, and I stopped her. She was angry with me, and when she realized that I was too aware to be manipulated, she moved on, and though we didn't remain friends, we maintained a mutual respect that I still don't share with anyone else.

    Anyway, I guess my point is: In my own experience, I've only found that ENFPs will often try to 'outperform' eachother and seem to develop a "there can only be one" kind of relationship, sometimes with no rational reasons, at all.

    So you guys, show me that we aren't all a-holes!

    /endrant
    The knowledge of possibility falsifies all facts.

  9. #419
    Glycerine
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    "Bad listeners" but other than that, they are pretty cool. They will listen for a minute and then jump to several unfounded conclusions due to projection and minimal efforts to clarify what the other person saying before responding (this can come off as very judgmental). Also, talking over people in a group setting is kind of annoying.

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    Love/hate INTJs intermittently, sometimes concurrently.

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