I can relate to many of the misunderstandings about ENFPs
1)doesn't care about others: SUCH a misunderstanding. ENFPs want to get close to people and experience things personally. they want to talk about the more important things in life like personal growth and understanding people on a deeper level, however, people are usually unwilling to talk about themselves. if anything, I would rather have someone talk about themselves for an hour and me help them sort things out and really understand themselves. ideally tho, both is best. personally, I am considered selfish because I think that personal sacrifice is usually extremely stupid and find win/win situations.
2) making excuses: ENFPs are making excuses, we're trying to present the entire picture of what happened, why and how they think the situation can be prevented in the future. at that point, we want feedback and any other information that the person we're apologizing has
3) not willing to apologize: this is partially true. ENFPs don't tend to apologize if they don't feel they've done something wrong. however, we are more than willing to listen if someone thinks we should apologize, and if we believe that we have actually done something wrong, we will apologize (I apologize a lot, but more different things than most people)
4) wear hearts on sleeve: ENFPs are actually quite rational most of the time, they are perceived incorrectly because they know how to use feeling in a rational. for instance, I know a lot of Ts who are so objective that it makes them less rational. ENFPs know the limits of what can be measured and usually require more than just straight data to be convinced of anything
5) attention whore: actually, we are more annoyed by some of the attention we get than most people are giving it. ENFPs (especially males) who are confident exhibit a kind of charisma that draws a lot of people in, however, most people can't handle it for large periods of time.
6) wanting to impress people: this one is also partially true, but the main goal is to SHOCK people (especially ENFPs who are 4w3 on the Enneagram),
perceived ENFP tendencies that are actually true
1) weird: let's face it, in a world were 75-85% of people are S and about 50% are SJs, ENFPs are just crazier than everyone else, a fact that most of us will attest to unapologetically. NF males are also particularly misunderstood because NFs are rare to begin with, but 3/4 of them are women (ENFP males are about 3-4% of the population, ENFJs 2%, INFPs 1% and INFJ 0.5%!). I didn't really understand social skills until right before senior of high school.
2) overly idealistic: yes, it's true =(
3) disregard for authority: damn straight =) there is nothing an ENFP hates more than being controlled or told to do something that doesn't make sense. ENFPs tend to make a decision on what to do something like this
-understand the situation
-figuring out the problem
-weighing the effectiveness of multiple solutions
-weighing the effort of multiple solutions (if a solution presents almost as good results with far less work, we're down)
-weighing the moral aspects of multiple solutions (this is not the least important, we just usually do this last because the action must be understood completely before in can be judged as good or bad)
this process for us usually takes about 5 seconds, but can take up to a few hours
4) diva-ish: yep, this one is also true
5) horrible with details: yes it's true. I for one appreciate other people who are good with details because I suck with them
6) irresponsible: mostly true. not all ENFPs are irresponsible, but responsability is not a trait that comes naturally to most of us.
top 10 things an ENFP hates
10) shallow people
9) fake people
8) unintelligent people
7) close minded people
6) anyone who tells us what to do
5) people who guilt trip
4) people who lack integrity and values
2) controlling people
1) bullies and tyrants
The misconceptions that people have about ENFPs are absolutely horrible, and make me ashamed to be one.
I don't wear my heart on my sleeve. I am not emotional. I rarely share how I feel.
I care more about anyone else than myself.
I don't make excuses. If I've messed up, I'll admit it. I will apologize. It would be childish not to do either.
Attention whore? No. I don't like attention.
I suppose one (although probably already mentioned) common ENFP issue is, at least to a slight degree, a will to impulsivness; for example I got the sudden urge to write this without hesitation, and without reading the first 41 pages to see if anyone had already posted such an issue.
sooo i met up a couple days ago with a friend who apparently has typed herself ENFP... i would probably agree with that typing, but i really got frustrated with her! you know how there's usually that pleasant easy NFP-NFP connection? not this time...
first of all, she talked as if she was explaining things to me the whole time (i think mostly she was giving reasons for her thoughts... but... it came off as a lecture because it was very one-sided, and she "explained" a lot of things i knew a good deal about already, like psychological disorders), and she insulted things i am loyal to quite a lot without really thinking about the implications of her words. she spoke for a while about how she was a minority thanks to her newfound sexual orientation, and how different that feels, and was very proud of her "highly accurate gaydar". and yet she didn't appear to consider my personal sexual orientation (not as straight as she assumes, so much for the gaydar). it was really surprising how much she didn't take me into account - it was more like she was talking at me than to me, much less with me. and then when i wasn't necessarily responsive, she would encourage me, but into doing things that she had decided we should do.
i just... ugh got so tired of trying to defend things! and then she would brush off my defense as if she wasn't really making an affront. it'd be like "well i don't really like ____ group of people, for example ____ person (a good friend of mine) because _______." apparently she can't stand people who are "goody-two-shoes" like the friends i tend to hang out with. so she hangs with the druggies instead. and you know? that's fine. but quit insulting my friends
anyway. i don't know exactly what this was... just a poor personality matchup or what. in any case my point being that it was very surprising and unsettling to run across a person i felt so uncomfortable with and discover they are an ENFP.
i mean, is this really what it feels like to be on the wrong end of an ENFP?
she spoke for a while about how she was a minority thanks to her newfound sexual orientation, and how different that feels, and was very proud of her "highly accurate gaydar". and yet she didn't appear to consider my personal sexual orientation (not as straight as she assumes, so much for the gaydar). it was really surprising how much she didn't take me into account - it was more like she was talking at me than to me, much less with me. and then when i wasn't necessarily responsive, she would encourage me, but into doing things that she had decided we should do.
Are you a woman? You should totally hit on her just to see what happens. It would really shake up her world, I am guessing.