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Thread: Common ENFP issues

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    Quote Originally Posted by Scott N Denver View Post
    Yes, why are so many ENFP women so warm and cuddly and attractive, and well hot???

    Also, an answer of "Scott, because your an INFP, and NFP's tend to be attracted to other NFP's" does NOT count as an acceptable answer...
    Actually I'm rarely attracted to other NFPs. I didn't even think it was common for it to be that way. Are you making this up?

    a only slighlty mroe serious question, given how popular ENFP's are, how to do you deal witha ll of the people who want to talk to you, be around you, spend time with you, etc. ENFP's tend to be very open and accepting IMO, and thats gotta put a lot of demand on one's time and social life afterall
    The simple answer is to turn your phone off. Duh! I'm not joking, either.

    Actually, when I was younger I felt like I had a good balance between my social life and everything else. I think I've always been pretty good at mostly getting along with people - even being "the life of the party" back in the day -when I'm with then, but setting up a certain distance from them otherwise if they aren't people I want to be especially close to. I've had issues with some of my boundaries, but keeping random people from snatching my energy hasn't ever been one of those issues. I know how to throw myself into the middle of things, and then just as promptly withdraw when I see fit. I was talking in another thread about how Fi can do that easier than Fe because we don't feel obligated. I think my ENFJ bff from high school has much more issues with people crawling all over her.

  2. #322
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    Quote Originally Posted by Scott N Denver View Post
    Yes, why are so many ENFP women so warm and cuddly and attractive, and well hot???

    Also, an answer of "Scott, because your an INFP, and NFP's tend to be attracted to other NFP's" does NOT count as an acceptable answer...

    a only slighlty mroe serious question, given how popular ENFP's are, how to do you deal witha ll of the people who want to talk to you, be around you, spend time with you, etc. ENFP's tend to be very open and accepting IMO, and thats gotta put a lot of demand on one's time and social life afterall
    Why are you spellbound by female ENFP's? You fail to see it when you look at it as typology alone, and you fail to see it without the help of typology. Look at female ENTJ/P's -- they too have a certain charm about them. ENxx types, unique, have what many women lack, a non-standarized charm about them, and an exceptional ability to show it. What makes you submit to them is when they find you interesting. They make you wonder why-- why are they interested in you? Because you can't see what's interesting about yourself, but they seem to know, without ever really saying why. It's mysterious, and you should leave it at that.

    You could say the same thing about female INFP's. Because some of them possess that look in their eyes. It's only when you get older you learn to steer clear from those eyes. Haunting eyes. You know which ones I'm talking about (Liz Hurley). Today, these eyes describe everything I can't give them.

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    Hmmm, I can relate to all of this particularly well! That's very well-written, for sure, yes. :3 There is one thing, though, that I didn't really identify with, but I suppose that you can't fit everything perfectly, or whatever...

    Quote Originally Posted by Satine
    10) Oversensitivity. Because an ENFP struggles to tame the Fi-beast, and the pain can be intense, it is very easy to cause emotional turmoil in an ENFP, especially when addressing the part of them that they're either very proud of in a negative way, or the parts that they're very insecure about. The reason for this is that the ENFP is already aware of this, or doesn't feel accepted, and it's like rubbing salt into a wound or denying them the right to be themselves. An ENFP is also unlikely to go push other peoples buttons like that, unless they're for some reason oblivious to them (Ne-hyperdrive) or angry with that person for some reason (Te-hammer, lethal at that point!), and will most of the time feel really guilty about doing so later and likely appologize for it. For that reason, they can very much overreact when someone does point out their flaws or talk about their person (or what they perceive to be a personal attack in any case), as they themselves would never cause anyone willingly that kind of harm. Little do/did they know that others don't have that same experience and therefore do not respond in the same way. Often, I would envy those that were able to take criticism so well, but for the life of me did not understand how they remained so calm under it all, or didn't consider it rude.
    When it comes to sensitivity, I honestly cannot relate much to INFP/ENFP, many of which are supposedly sensitive or something?

    Perhaps I'm simply misunderstanding it (I am new to MBTI, after all, I only know the very basics) but either way, I am just not a sensitive person. I dislike being called insensitive, though; I'm not insensitive, just a special blend of oblivious and thick-skinned. Only "my people" can truly hurt me; if I don't know somebody, their criticism or negative talk will almost never get to me, 'cause in my mind they don't matter, so I just brush it off.

    It helps that I forgive and forget easily and don't hold grudges~
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    Only "my people" can hurt me too. Everyone else is sort of blase - whatever - I dont care. My thing is that I dont think they know what they are talking about, because they dont know me, or I knew they hated me all along so whats new? It doesn't tear me up like that.
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    Flamingo, are you male?
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    Quote Originally Posted by angell_m View Post
    Why are you spellbound by female ENFP's? You fail to see it when you look at it as typology alone, and you fail to see it without the help of typology. Look at female ENTJ/P's -- they too have a certain charm about them. ENxx types, unique, have what many women lack, a non-standarized charm about them, and an exceptional ability to show it. What makes you submit to them is when they find you interesting. They make you wonder why-- why are they interested in you? Because you can't see what's interesting about yourself, but they seem to know, without ever really saying why. It's mysterious, and you should leave it at that.

    You could say the same thing about female INFP's. Because some of them possess that look in their eyes. It's only when you get older you learn to steer clear from those eyes. Haunting eyes. You know which ones I'm talking about (Liz Hurley). Today, these eyes describe everything I can't give them.
    I agree. I myself find EN/IN women extremely attractive and charming in a way that cannot quite be labeled/described. There's a look in their eyes. In that photo, the look is trying too hard. EN/IN women naturally have that look even when they are not looking at you.


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    are you saying those two are e/infp?
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    Quote Originally Posted by Satine View Post
    Flamingo, are you male?
    LOL! Yes, but I won't be terribly upset if I'm called or referred to as female (I don't see myself as having a gender, really, but since I'm physically male, I just go with that, since it's much easier than going into the whole, "Well, actually, my gender is neither male nor female, blah blah blah~").

    Why you ask?
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    Quote Originally Posted by Devil Flamingo View Post
    LOL! Yes, but I won't be terribly upset if I'm called or referred to as female (I don't see myself as having a gender, really, but since I'm physically male, I just go with that, since it's much easier than going into the whole, "Well, actually, my gender is neither male nor female, blah blah blah~").

    Why you ask?

    Hehe, coz I've notivced that the male ENFPs around the board would probably share your sentiment. It seems that men are more raised in our society to be tough and less sensitive to what other people say, whereas women are raised to be 'nice and considerate' which makes it easier to be sensitive to what others say. Girls typically do the whole 'social outcast'-thing to punish each other, while boys tend to just battle it out.

    Likewise, it's more acceptable to society that a girl cries and is sensitive about things, whereas a guy is often told to 'man up' already. Also, ENFP men seem to be more into the whole decisive,getting things done thing, more often (although we have plenty of female ones here that also have that attitude, but still).

    Just a thought though *ponders*
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    I think I might have been gendered backwards by my family/environment or something (culture could be an issue too. there's a "subsex" going on) because I can't relate to the sensitivity thing, either.

    When I was little, i was told by the women in my family to "man up" (basically). Sometimes, I don't know if I'm sensitive or not. My family is full of what mainstream society would deem "masculine" women but they're just black/"african american" cultured. You don't cry, you don't whine, you don't get upset about silly girly things you keep moving or you battle it out. I've never avoided conflict, I feel it purges: I can't relate to the peacekeeper in most ENFPs. My family believes I am sensitive because I have problems with depression (and am "troubled"/ "weird") and I guess I am compared to them but compared to my friends I seem way less sensitive.

    Is there a sensitivity test?

    Changing gears a little bit; how many of you have been misread or mistyped by someone else as ESFP?
    My Se is higher than it's ever been. I know that doesn't make me on but I think I can come off as an ESFP sometimes. I read and believe that ENFP and ESFP are look a likes.
    Last edited by Vamp; 09-06-2010 at 11:03 PM. Reason: still getting the hang of the smileys
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