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Thread: Common ENFP issues

  1. #21
    Senior Member Array Ratsimoan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by angelhair45 View Post
    If I'm stressed, depressed or frustrated I'm very bad at jumping to conclusions and the labeling game. Drives my husband crazy, but I'm making progress.
    Yeah I can see it being caused by stress, depression and frustration.
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  2. #22
    Senior Member Array angelhair45's Avatar
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    I pretty much identify with everything, except 3 and 4 under Specific Issues.

    As far as thinking before speaking. When I try and formulate what I am going to say before I speak it comes out forced and unnatural. In the past I have spent more time thinking what I would say first and it was very stifiling and unsatisfying for me. I can do it, but I don't prefer it.

    I rather enjoy speaking my mind and seeing what happens. I do think before I speak, but as thinking and speaking happens so quickly I don't stop to censor myself. I like to let my thoughts and ideas spill out. Like I said, I can stop myself, but I don't put myself in many situations where I have to worry about what I say.
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  3. #23
    Senior Member Array angelhair45's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ratsimoan View Post
    Yeah I can see it being caused by stress, depression and frustration.
    The think is I DETEST labels myself, and will not allow myself to be labeled. So I blame it on my ISTJ shadow coming out. lol.
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  4. #24
    Professional Trickster Array Esoteric Wench's Avatar
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    This list is really very good.

    The only thing I'd add... or maybe pull out and put in it's own misunderstanding line item is following through on things. We're notorious for not following up on details because we get distracted by something new and shiny.

    I'm going to have to agree with angelhair45 that I don't identify with 3 or 4 a lot... though I've heard lots of people say that ENFPs are big flirts. That just never manifested for me. Perhaps I scared off guys by my hit-you-in-the-face intensity coupled with a whole lot of book learnin'. Normally not a combination that makes you popular with the fellas.

    Crude and insensitive? Well... I'm not afraid to rock the boat. Break a rule (if I feel I have an ethically pressing reason to do so). Take conversational risks. But I don't do these thing because I haven't thought the matter through or am clueless about the social fallout.

    I usually am very aware that I'm being a total *sshole. I just don't care. Or I've judged that the cost of the social fallout is something I'm willing to pay for the benefit of my boat rocking activities. (I might be an ENTP in disguise. )

    But just to clarify, normally I'm very socially capable and well-liked. It's not like I go around trying to piss people off or shock them for the hell of it.
    ENFP with kick*ss Te | 7w8 so | ♀

  5. #25
    Senior Member Array angelhair45's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Esoteric Wench View Post
    This list is really very good.

    The only thing I'd add... or maybe pull out and put in it's own misunderstanding line item is following through on things. We're notorious of not following up on details because we get distracted by something new and shiny.

    Yes yes definitely. It's hard when you have so many interests and so little time.
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  6. #26
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ratsimoan View Post
    Yeah I can see it being caused by stress, depression and frustration.
    Quote Originally Posted by angelhair45 View Post
    The think is I DETEST labels myself, and will not allow myself to be labeled. So I blame it on my ISTJ shadow coming out. lol.
    Well this thread is about issues, and all my issues with ENFPs come from moments of confusion and communication breakdowns.

    I personally have a communication problem at times with certain ENFPs and It seems my way of thinking can really confuse them at times.

    I also have a bit of a tendency to attract and be attracted to broken people or people with savior complex. because I am a broken people. SO.. maybe a healthy ENFP would rock my world.

  7. #27
    Professional Trickster Array Esoteric Wench's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Satine View Post
    5) Drama Queen. Fi can feel sooooo f*cking intense, it burns. The pain can be overwhelming. Unloading on others however...not very nice, however hard it can be to contain yourself. Learning social rules and having a close friend who understands you is a definite must.
    I've heard a lot of people say they thought ENFPs were drama queens which has always bugged me. I think it's because I associate this term with a bunch of catty women on some Judith Krantz made-for-TV movie.

    In order to indulge my subjective distastes, maybe, I'd break it up like this:

    Loose Cannon. I think for some other personality types ... like some Fe types (... um maybe say ENFJs ) ENFPs' willingness to push the social envelope at times drives them nuts. So in this sense they can seem like loose cannons.
    Overly Intense. I thought you described the experience of Fi being "sooooo f*cking intense" pretty well.
    The pain, joy, love, or whatever feeling my Fi is experiencing can be utterly and completely overwhelming. I had to laugh and wince when you said that it wasn't fair to unload all those strong Fi feelings on another person. Up until two years ago, I'd never done that. And hopefully I'll never do it again. But I went through some intense Fi burning and I wound up dumping on some poor, poor guy I barely knew. I completely unloaded on him. It's like I was in a movie watching myself blow it...I was horrified by what I was doing... but I just couldn't stop myself. The feelings were sooooo intense, it's like they completely short-circuited my normally highly-proficient social radar. Poor guy!

    Quote Originally Posted by Satine View Post
    3) I *suck* at finding things. Like, seriously suck at it. I have my INTJ find it all for me, because, even if I bother, I'll go over a spot 4 times and still not find the item I need.
    I laughed when I read this. I'm exactly the same way. I've come to the conclusion that my dominant Intuition cancels out my Se.

    There's a thread on the NT Rationale Forum called Sensotard Moments that I came across a couple of month's ago. It was HYSTERICAL. And, it made me feel like I wasn't such a freak of nature in this area.

    http://www.typologycentral.com/forum...d-moments.html
    ENFP with kick*ss Te | 7w8 so | ♀

  8. #28
    Immanentize the Eschaton Array Starry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Peguy View Post
    I notice a tendency for some ENFPs to speak first without giving much thought of what they're saying; which can often have the effect of creating a huge mess if it's misunderstood by the other person or hits a nerve. For me, when I say something, I've already given some thought as to what I'm saying.
    Peguy ~ this is very true...or at the very least it is for me. I am surprised to say that this trait hasn't led to a great deal of conflicts and/or misunderstandings in my life... but what it does do is make me come across as far less intellegent than I actually am. It is often embarrassing and subsequently frustrating to be considered 'dense' or 'airheaded'.

    In my younger days I always felt I somehow became some sort of 'loveable & silly gal'...we love to have her around but she's a few cards short of an entire deck.

    To this day I have people look at me dumbfounded when I speak of my degrees, travels, what universities I have attended...

    Yah...I"m that girl in Legally Blond...all because I often feel the need to 'process externally'.

  9. #29
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    Quote Originally Posted by runvardh View Post
    Why won't you guys listen, and why is it that a third of your cooking attempts result in me having to pull out the goddamn fire extingisher?!

    Partly to be funny, but partly serious...
    One thing that I love so much with regards to INFPs is their ability to capture Truth like none seen.
    This is hilarious...and, again, Truth.

  10. #30
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    Quote Originally Posted by Satine View Post
    3) I *suck* at finding things. Like, seriously suck at it. I have my INTJ find it all for me, because, even if I bother, I'll go over a spot 4 times and still not find the item I need.
    Satine ~ your OP was so insightful.

    And I too thought this was pretty darn funny. My INTJ male friend...I love him more than life itself (whoa that sounded so ENFPie)...but it is so true. He helps me navigate the physical world all the time...and yes he is constantly joking about it but underneath he is saying 'you are okay the way you are'.

    Every ENFP needs an INTJ. At least in my experience - they are able to see who we are behind the outer clumsiness.

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