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Thread: Common ENFP issues

  1. #101
    Senior Member Array Moiety's Avatar
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    I kind of wanted to participate in this thread. But these neat walls of text prevent me.

  2. #102
    Iron Maiden Array fidelia's Avatar
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    Sorry man. Skip over us.

  3. #103
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    Quote Originally Posted by Arclight View Post
    They seem to be very good at the labeling game. Like what I mean is. If I say am against the idea of a gay pride parade, I am not asked why or to explain myself.. Nope.. I am homophobic.
    I know there's been like 91 posts since this one but I just have to say, I thought judging someone as homophobic was something a judger was much more likely to do fast than a perciever. I mean, isn't the core issue with J versus P that judgers do everything right away when percievers wait for eternity?

    Considering this, and how judgers lives tend to be organized and full of preparations, it's pretty logical that they are more inclined towards social norms and standards for expressing themselves, while percievers go with their own natural tendency to 'wing it'. (Now I know there's more to it than this but I'm just too tired...)

    On resolving the issues that's arise... that's the headache I guess

    I think this means that, Fi users wishing to communicate with Fe-users do best to learn the rules or just state that they don't know them and hope that Fe-users accept that.

    For Fe-users wishing to communicate to Fi-users, I think the best way would be to simply be blunt and objective (Te) without venting anger at Fi-users for not reading their Fe, alternately teach them the language of Fe.


    Quote Originally Posted by fidelia View Post
    Why is the feeling of "owing" someone so awful?
    To me, it's because it's something that I need to keep track of but will likely forget. "I shirk my duties" and "I avoid being bound by obligations"(probably because I shirk my duties).

    On the matter of reaching out to people who are angry with you... I'm sorry but when it comes to this issue with an ENFP I'm unsure if you actually can win at some times. Unless you have a really really good explanation, let time do the work to dissipate the anger or hope that chance brings you together so that the person is forced to forgive you because holding on to the hurt values simply isn't working anymore. Although being there even though we protest might work (like in the movies when the girl keeps hitting the guy who just stands there and then hugs her untill she starts crying instead), be aware that this can probably result in an escalation of negative feedback if the NFP in question deems that no agreement can be reached.
    Last edited by Elemental Chaos; 07-24-2010 at 08:26 PM. Reason: Sooo much I want to comment...
    Ennea:7w8sx/so (?)
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    So apparently I might be epileptic. Thanks brain, keep malfunctioning. I didn't think it could be that bad seeing starfalls in bookshelves. I just thought I was psychotic.

  4. #104
    Senior Member Array Vamp's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sytpg View Post
    I kind of wanted to participate in this thread. But these neat walls of text prevent me.
    I do too but I'm not knowledgeable enough.

    I just want to say this thread is uber-relatable and I'm learning a lot.
    George Bernard Shaw in cartoon form.

  5. #105
    Fail 2.0 Array BlueScreen's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Elemental Chaos View Post
    I know there's been like 91 posts since this one but I just have to say, I thought judging someone as homophobic was something a judger was much more likely to do fast than a perciever. I mean, isn't the core issue with J versus P that judgers do everything right away when percievers wait for eternity?
    I'm normally allergic to absolutes. I'd probably say "you're homophobic" though, just because I have trouble taking 'serious issues' seriously.
    Freude, schöner Götterfunken Tochter aus Elysium, Wir betreten feuertrunken, Himmlische, dein Heiligtum! Deine Zauber binden wieder Was die Mode streng geteilt; Alle Menschen werden Brüder, Wo dein sanfter Flügel weilt.

  6. #106
    Fail 2.0 Array BlueScreen's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by fidelia View Post
    Why is the feeling of "owing" someone so awful? It's not that someone is keeping score. It's sort of the equivalent of splitting up chores between two people in the house or of one person cooking supper and the other one cleaning up after. It would stand out if one person consistently didn't do anything or if one person would not allow the other to help, but otherwise it seems to be workable. How does it look different through your eyes?
    I think if I'm aware that this is the scheme, which I often am, then it is perfectly okay. When it becomes too rostered, I start to push it away though. I need freedom of approach and method more than the normal freedoms people seek. Much of the fulfilment and creativity is in reinventing what people take for granted, and I think that is where many people get confused about me. To do it to plan is avoiding the inner drive to do it every other way, or even consider all the other ways. Of course it isn't a problem to do things to plan when you need to, but it can't be a regular or permanent framework. If you set up a system, the first few questions that come to mind are "why?" and "why are we doing it this way?". The next thing that comes to mind is how can I mix this up and make it more fun . The fact that it has been done that way a million times has little influence, except to make it seem tired and boring. If it is the super optimised genius way to do it, then it is attractive and okay.

    I'm not too big on the hurt word being used in this thread either, because I rarely feel hurt or insulted. Sometimes shamed but that is self imposed because I have taken actions which I disagree with. The most common thing I feel when I get a bit moody is stuck or boxed in. I'm presented with a situation I don't disagree with but can't adapt to or work within, and drive myself crazy trying to see a satisfactory way out. I've got a bad habit of not wanting to burden people or share the load either, which can stop things being resolved as quickly.
    Freude, schöner Götterfunken Tochter aus Elysium, Wir betreten feuertrunken, Himmlische, dein Heiligtum! Deine Zauber binden wieder Was die Mode streng geteilt; Alle Menschen werden Brüder, Wo dein sanfter Flügel weilt.

  7. #107
    mod love baby... Array Lady_X's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sytpg View Post
    I kind of wanted to participate in this thread. But these neat walls of text prevent me.
    me too...i find it extremely unfortunate...i just can't make myself read them. :/
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  8. #108
    Fail 2.0 Array BlueScreen's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lady X View Post
    me too...i find it extremely unfortunate...i just can't make myself read them. :/
    Maybe we can enforce point form.
    Freude, schöner Götterfunken Tochter aus Elysium, Wir betreten feuertrunken, Himmlische, dein Heiligtum! Deine Zauber binden wieder Was die Mode streng geteilt; Alle Menschen werden Brüder, Wo dein sanfter Flügel weilt.

  9. #109
    Senior Member Array Starry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by fidelia View Post
    Hmm, am I talking too much, or are all the ENFPs just out socializing?
    LMAO.

  10. #110
    Iron Maiden Array fidelia's Avatar
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    For real, reading five paragraphs is that hard?

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