First of all, 21% (as usual) articulated what's going on here very well. I am in complete awe of how much I am a prisoner of these cognitive function I was born with. It is a very humbling experience if you stop and truly appreciate how so much of the essence of our personalities that we think of as being under our control is not.
I winced and smiled when 21% described her INFP's "Wow-this-is-so-amazing-I-can't-think-of-anything-else episodes from time to time where you have to shake him and say 'Look at me!' before he notices you." This can be a regular problem for INFPs and ENFPs. I have had more than my share of these. In fact, I just ducked into my house for a cold drink from yard work and wandered over to my computer to catch up on this thread. I'm having one of those now... I'm going to have to force myself to go back outside to attend to the boring details of the matter at hand. I could easily lose track of time with this thread.
Secondly, I just wanted to acknowledge that I completely see how Fidelia wasn't trying to argue that the Fe was was the right way. And, (others correct me if I'm wrong) I don't think most people took it that way. In fact, I'd say that an Fe user might be way more concerned that it would be taken that way than an Fi user would be prone to see such a comment as intrusive.
(By the way, the reverse is true I think. For example, it NEVER even occurred to me that anyone would ever take my comments on the INFJ Common Issues thread as intrusive. But some people obviously did. <-- Again, a complete communication disconnect among people that typically are at the highest end of the bell curve when it comes to social awareness.)
But back to Fidelia's question about how should a Fe user politely get back on to the subject they need to vent about...
(Wait a minute. My SO just came in looking for me to see where I went. He stuck his head in the door and said that I needed to leave the psychology nerd patrol until later.)
See I am teachable. More soon.