hey guys, after recently starting uni life and meeting new people, i've discovered that i have a serious problem in socialising and finding friends, and was wondering if any of u guys had ever experienced the same problem in the past or would be kind enough to give me some advice as to my dilemma.
although i said i started having this problem wen i started university, wen i think back it seems like i always had this problem since i could remember. wen i was a kid i remember family friends and relatives occasionally telling me to smile more or be happier, but i used to dismiss those claims by thinking that they were just being too superficial to understand wat i was truly feeling inside. although, now that i've become older i'm feeling that it's becoming a more serious and recurring issue, and it seems that i had been too arrogant and confident in my own ideas to see myself as being wrong back then.
the more i think about it the more it seems as though my angry/aloof/uninterested appearance coupled with my social awkwardness is making me unapproachable, as more and more people are beginning to hate me or find me weird after about a minute of talking to me. i find that i become more likeable during those rare occasions when i'm happy to the point that it shows on the outside, so that i smile naturally and become more welcoming. but i know that i'm often not that happy, and that my tendencies to overthink things along with my inability to keep a good and interesting conversation are wat make people uncomfortable around me. i'm just not good at small-talk, and it seems more and more so that in today's society, the people who succeed in life are the popular ones who can.
i've tried smiling more or being more extroverted, but i think that just comes across as being too forced and unnatural as they still shy away from me. some people have tried tolerating me but after a while it does seem that talking to me is really trying for them. i have to be honest, i'm starting to hate and doubt myself, and it seems that i'd be more happy if i stayed believing that others are just lesser-minded.
anyway, it was good getting all this off my chest, but i was wondering if any of u had the same problem once, and how u solved it?